Once upon a time, there were two girls. They were cousins, and the best of friends. Over the course of their lifetime, they were separated again and again but the bond between them became stronger and stronger.
I wanted my first real blog post to be about the power of friendship. My best friend, Shams Moosa, is also my sister, my mum, my rock, my world, my laughter, my spirit, my angel, my inspiration and part of my soul. We speak every day, and nobody makes me laugh as much as she does.
I wanted to talk about how we build relationships. The single most important factor is effort. I know I have days when I shut down, I don’t want to talk to anyone and I just want to be in my own world. The solitude is needed, but we also need as humans being to connect. Every person we meet has their role to play in our journey. As my good friend Henel says, a reason, a season or a lifetime.
People will drift in and out of your life at different points. Some encounters will be fleeting. I remember a recent trip to London where I was on the tube and a homeless man stood across the carriage. I could feel his fear in my stomach as he asked for food or money. The moment he looked at me, I felt an overwhelming sense of compassion and peace. I will never forget the smile he gave me. I’d never felt an energy so strong, and the connection to an absolute stranger. It made me think about how we are all connected by the same source of love…and friendship is love. The reason was to make me understand that underneath, we are all the same. We have the same fears and worries. It made me judge less, and accept more and that was the “reason” – to understand the depth of connection that is innate in us as humans.
Then, there are some people who come in, shit all over you and depart. The important thing is to remember that it won’t always be that way, and often in life when I reflect on people like this, I realise that their purpose was to strengthen me. Although at the time, it felt like they were weakening me. Life is full of lessons, and you learn something from everyone you meet.
Some people stay over the course of a lifetime. Ever had that one friend who you see every couple of years, and you just pick up where you left off? These are the people that will always be there. It doesn’t matter if you don’t see or talk to them everyday. Its the connection that you will always have.
My precious habibi will always be with me :o) She’s my light when things feel dark, and yes we talk a lot of nonsense, but that connection is what makes us stronger with each other than without.
So today, take some time to think about your connections to others. How to they serve you? What do you learn? Most importantly, what does this teach you about who you are. In Islamic tradition, there is an example of good and bad friendship. “The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of a seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) In essence, you get good from good, and bad from bad and the company you keep rubs off on you.
I’m fortunate to have a lot of good friends in my life, and I have gained and lost a few in my time as we all have.
Grateful for love and friendship :o)
Peace and blessings,