99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 25 – Al-Azim – Flexible Strength

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a flexible strength that can adapt to any situation and yet remain rooted in, and moving towards, the purpose of your life.”

When exploring the pathways of the heart, I always find that the right ones find their way to me at the right time and this one is no different. Given the situation that we have all been faced with, this pathway comes as a renewal of hope and that last pocketful of energy from somewhere in order to keep going.

Human beings are immensely adaptable. Think about yourself at the beginning of this pandemic lockdown period and how you’ve adjusted your time, your workload, your finances and everything else in line with what’s being required of you.

I was reflecting on this and considering if we can be this adaptable when it’s forced upon us, we indeed have the strength to choose how we respond to different situations. We all have that within us and it’s this flexible strength that we are drawing upon to get us through these tough times.

Whatever the situation you are faced with, I think we all have this inner strength that we can call upon and I think the lockdown has really probed my thinking about what this strength is and how we access it. We are getting through it, one day at a time and this tells us that even though it may not feel like things are moving, something is happening every day. If you manage another day, you’re calling on that strength again. The inward road is strength and the outer is the display of that strength. That might be through an action, an opinion, a presence in a place.

I talk about inner and outer manifestations because human beings tend to have a lean towards one or the other. With strength, it’s accessed from within. Outwardly, this strength is displayed through actions, through words. Inner strength isn’t always a tangible though and it’s important to recognise it in our everyday life and not just something that’s required in difficult circumstances.

This energy that I’m talking about, this inner reservoir of strength is often what we take for granted because it’s always there and it keep us going but one of the lessons for me in terms of exploring this pathway was to really think about the ways in which I access this energy and I think that when you reflect on this pathway, one of the avenues to explore is to think about what activities are a way of tapping in to the strength in order to harness it.

Time and space are essential aspects of discovering that we have this inner strength within us. In fact, the longer something goes on, often we perceive that this strength is deteriorating with time. It’s an interesting idea and I think largely down to the way that we perceive life. Time and experience makes us stronger. It’s often the frustration and impatience that masks the strength that we are building through the use of time and space.

One of the biggest lightbulb moments for me with this pathway was just how little we acknowledge what we already do and say as a manifestation of this inner strength. We rack our brains to find examples of when we had this inner strength yet everything is so much closer to home than you think. Like all the other pathways, it’s what we choose to see about ourselves. This pathway for me was a big shove towards opening my eyes to the automatic, day to day, routine, every day things where this strength is displayed.

Acknowledging that some days I get up when I really don’t want to, that’s strength. Writing every day, that’s strength. A commitment to work – that’s strength. Praying 5 times a day – that’s strength. That got me really thinking about the relationship between strength and commitment because the strength is displayed as you fulfil the commitments that you have made. We don’t always see it as strength because it may be everyday ordinary things but I think we have to look at all those things in a different light. The fact that you have done it must show your commitment to something and the inner strength is what drove that action towards that commitment.

Remembering as well that it doesn’t always need to be outwardly displayed as proof of it’s existence. It lives within and often the action or the outward display is just a way of pointing towards what sits within.

I found that with this pathway, a lot of past memories kept coming back to me and it was interesting because the pathway says, “Forget the past, just keep going.” I found that these old memories surfacing was important in helping me to remember how I was built. Memories help us to reflect and whether they are good or bad, the perception of your past is always in your own hands.

Being someone who helps people to reflect, I think that this idea of just keep going can be really helpful when we get stuck. Often when the past comes up, we think along the lines of if only and think about regrets and that can plunge us in to despair. In order to keep moving, we do need to forget the past sometimes.

What I want to highlight is that it can become really easy and convenient to get stuck in the naval gazing and the analysis and this in itself weakens our resolve. It can become a form of self-sabotage. With this pathway, I remember thinking. “I’ve dealt with that, why is that coming up again?” and it was important to look at what lessons were gained rather than to dwell in the memories. We have to keep moving and we have to check our own perspective of the past so that we don’t live there.

What you have lived through should give you strength because it is through that experience that you are able to have the courage to face every single day. What I loved most about this pathway is that following the strength back to it’s root, we find that it is centred in hope. This is one of the most beautiful pathways to experience and at the root of it is the thing that keeps everything alive – hope. Where there is life – there is hope.

When reflecting on the past, it was hope that was the catalyst for change for me in so many situations. It was hope that influenced my thinking about what could be possible for me. It was hope that whispered you can start again and again and again. The strength is in that process and not in the result of it.

“When you find the straight way, it eats up all the crookedness of the past.” Rumi

For me, this flexible strength has always been rooted in hope. It’s this that influences the commitment that influences the action that follows. Sometimes it flows easier and sometimes it requires you to push but it can be called upon. Hope combined with determination to keep going…that’s strength.

Flexible strength lies in the movement through situations and circumstances. It lies in the navigation of them. For me it is so linked to what keeps me going and when I trace that road back, I always get to hope.

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 24 – Dhul Jalal Wal Ikram – Overwhelming power and beauty

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel humbled by a wave of divine power and abundance flowing over and through you.”

I was determined that the next pathway that we explored together was going to be lighter and more uplifting and I decided that regardless of what came, that was going to be the focus. Having spent a lot of time in solitude, especially since I came back from Konya, I had decided I was going to make more of an effort to get out and about in this world and actually integrate in to 3D life rather than living in my bubble. I think the Universe had other plans but I also feel that I’m learning this lesson in a different way.

Lo and behold, the world was struck with Corona Virus but that doesn’t change anything. In fact it actually helps us to see the world in a different light. When you spend a lot of time in prayer and meditation, what happens is that you begin to disconnect from this reality. As you travel through different realms, you lose the love of this world and this reality. You start to see it as an illusion, seeing it for what it really is – a training ground for you soul to learn valuable lessons before it travels on in to the next realm.

In order to learn these lessons, it means that you have to participate in life and that’s something that I’ve always found challenging because I am more comfortable with other realms. An important lesson of this pathway for me has been this. I have always associated overwhelming power and beauty with God but this pathway teaches Oneness in such a deep way and this is what I have come to find. This interconnectedness between all things. Yes you can sense that wonder and power and beauty in a meditative state, you turn away from the world because of the people in it but the missing piece is beginning to be able to see the face of the One in all things. The face of the One is in all people, in all circumstances and all situations. It’s understanding that EVERYTHING comes from Source. Every breath, every attachment, every morsel of food, every penny you earn.

My belief is this. When God created the Earth, he created the light of humanity first. He then created the Qalam, the scribe. The scribe wrote every single destinity and every single permutation of that destiny. And that in itself is overwhelming power and beauty that makes you disappear in to the Universe. But we human beings use destiny to keep us powerless. It’s like this.

The scribe may have written, today you will help someone and they will give you a huge blessing. The scribe will also have written that today you won’t have the opportunity to help someone so you won’t get a blessing. Both are possibilities. What is the defining factor? This is the overwhelming power and beauty of the One because he gives us choice. Free will. If I choose to go out in to world today, I come across someone that I can help and therefore there’s the blessing. If I choose to remain in solitude, I may think my prayer and meditation is the blessing but I may have missed out on something greater. In this context, we can understand that although everything comes from Source, we are not powerless because we have choice and our destiny depends on the choices that we make.

Looking at what is happening in the world I feel a mixture of emotions.  I don’t want to dwell on it because I think we have all been saturated by conversations about Corona Virus and it’s impact. I realise that we all have choice when it comes to how we see what’s happening.

I believe there is a reason for everything. In times like these, the first thing we will notice is the ego shouting, “Me! Me!” We saw this in the panic buying and the greed initially. Then we look around and we hear the humbling stories of people who we know will struggle more than we will and it starts to soften people. We begin to find our humanity and we want to help rather than feeling helpless or simply thinking only of ourselves. We realise that that there is so much more to life than the 9 to 5. There’s love, connection, community, solidarity, supporting others, kindness. Mother Nature has put us in our place. I joke about it but it’s like she’s sent us to our room to think about what we’ve done.

“The voices saying “me!” can often become so loud that they can cause us to forget that there is something greater, the only “I Am”.

The usual routine helps distract us. Now we are all forced in to a space where we have to be alone with ourselves and that isn’t easy. It’s a bit like being on retreat in solitude. It brings up a multitude of emotions. Initially, we will look for distraction and ways to fill the day. Once we have done everything that we need to get done, we realise that we need to just sit with ourselves and it makes us think about who we are without the distraction of life. And there isn’t an escape for any one of us.

I’ve always said this but for as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like I want to go home, like I don’t belong here and the world just feels like a really strange place to me. I felt like nobody understood what that felt like and with all this happening, I feel like people can resonate with that feeling because of the experience that they’re having.

The feeling of being humbled is a really powerful emotion in all of us because this is what allows us to shift and overcome our ego state. This feeling, like all other feelings and emotions comes from Oneness. It is a call and a realisation that all beings are connected, and in these times, all beings are experiencing similar emotions and that is the rope that binds us all together.

We choose our perspective through these difficult times and for me my tendency to live in a bubble has really helped me through it but as an empath, this has been difficult. With these observations, I realised that if anyone understands what its like living in a strange world, I do. All my fears and insecurities are much easier to put aside when people are calling for help. So ironically, even though I was trying to hide out and escape in to my own world, I understand why it’s important to live in 3D as much as 5D.

I think all of us can look inside ourselves at this time and realise that we all have so much more to give to life. This idea of overwhelming power and beauty – this pathway opens up choices in terms of how we want to live and what we want to give in the world. It makes us see that the One has given us all a heart and in this heart sits the power and beauty of the one. It manifests itself in love, kindness, gratitude, appreciation. When we recognise this, it becomes so much easier to intuitively know what Source wants us to do in the world. He has created for us a set of circumstances that make it easier for us to help, to give, to love and to connect.

We can’t see the One but the One manifests itself to us in these ways – allowing us to see who and what we truly are, what’s within. I can feel that so many people are reflecting right now and they’re being led to finding their own light. This is a step change moment for humanity created by Source to wake us all up.

I am going to leave you with a quote to ponder. It comes from a giant in spirituality, the great Sufi scholar of his time Muhyideen Ibn Arabi.

“It is necessary that you know what the Truth wants from you in any Realm, so that you hasten to it without hesitation or resistance.”

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 18 – Al-Ghani – Tending Your Garden

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel your heart as a garden in which everything you need is growing. See yourself living in this garden.”

It has been a while since I wrote on another pathway. With this one, I’ve been exploring and exploring and now it feels like the right time to write. One thing I will say is that I thought I’d do a pathway every couple of weeks – that was the plan but they don’t work in a linear way. It’s always the way that I choose one and it becomes the theme for my inner work and observation. Rather than rushing, it feels much better to explore in my own time and share when there is real wisdom that emerges. That makes it more meaningful for you and for me.

The pathway starts with talking about what happens when the heart begins to expand and seeing ourselves in others. This pathway continues to teach me the good, the bad and the ugly of who I am and this is through what I see in others.

I feel like I’ve gone through one of the biggest and deepest expansions spiritually over the last few months. I’ve had external help to guide and push me over my comfort zones and that has been amazing. It really reinforces that we can’t do everything ourselves. I’ve also been connecting more with my guides in the etheric realms and receiving deeper wisdom and guidance. I’ve been working a great deal with my power centres – the solar plexus and the sacral.

One of the biggest learnings I’ve had is understanding my place in the whole grand scheme of things, my place in the Universe. If we are all dots that are connected, I’m really starting to see that I am one of those dots and the connections that I have to the other dots and the ripples I send out by working on myself and sharing my wisdom. It takes this idea of seeing all beings as yourself to a whole other level and it’s really helped to me feel supported with what I do. Understanding that my story is part of an even bigger story and without my character, the story would change. It simply wouldn’t be the same.

Another aspect of the pathway talks about the connection between action and the vision that you have. For a long while, I’ve had a vision but for one reason or another, I just wasn’t moving very much. Deep down there plenty of fears of where it would take me. This extended the way I looked at the good, bad and ugly within myself. I realised that I was limiting myself and really not seeing the possibilities. Sometimes taking action is the thing that leads to even deeper growth. We can learn and teach wisdom but to live that wisdom enables your heart to grow. We can be authentic but we are always finding the masks and learning to continuously uncover even more authentic parts of ourselves. I did have to stop and think about this seriously and that made me realise just how much I was taking for granted. When you uncover all this wisdom, you realising that you’re not even sharing a fraction of what’s in there. Once you begin, things start to change and grow.

Tending your garden is one thing and I feel that I have planted so many seeds. With watering and nurturing, I’m beginning to see these seeds grow. I find myself changing yet paradoxically at the same time becoming more myself than I have ever been. When that seed starts to sprout a few leaves, you get excited and you know that there’s flowers to come and it’ll be glorious and beautiful. It’s being grateful that By God’s grace, the seeds we plant grow.

The pathway uses the example of the garden of life. We plant everything that we need in our life and plenty of other things that we don’t need. This garden is also a metaphor for the heart. The heart is where the truth sits. Part of the process is weeding out what’s not needed or what’s taking up space preventing other things from growing. There are plenty of distractions and reasons not to do things and the more I think and ponder, the more I procrastinate. I decided it was time to pull these weeds out and call them out. It involved a lot of harsh truths but at the end of the day, they’re blocking my sunshine. It doesn’t matter how much you water and nurture yourself, without the sunshine you’ll wither. I liken this to what I’ve been through. I’d found my inner light but I was afraid of shining and now I really am facing that in a big way, things are really starting to change.

It’s only been a couple of months, but I am really not who I used to be. I feel myself shining, confident and bursting with colour. It makes the old me look like a dull hum in comparison. Now I’m conducting a whole orchestra making magical, harmonious sound frequencies. This is the power of tending your garden. This is the power of tending to your own heart.

I have found that even being open, warm and loving as a person, I was still quite guarded and I had the fear of trusting. When we look at the garden of our heart, we also look at the boundaries. Do we want to limit how big our garden gets? That’s something that I was not even conscious I was doing and bringing it to light has really helped me to make a shift. With this, belief is also key. It’s fine to say “I’m not going to limit myself” but it’s an even deeper shift when you say, “I’m willing to accept the reality that all things are possible for me.” We can protect ourselves as much as we want to but at the end of the day if we don’t believe that we are protected by a Source greater than ourselves, we form barriers to love and limitations to growth. There is an even greater plan for me than what I can imagine for myself. The possibility of that being true brings infinite other possibilities and the beautiful part is not being afraid of those possibilities anymore.

 “Another message of this pathway is that everything need not be done in the spotlight. Let the One veil you (another type of enclosure) and keep your secrets as you get on with your purpose in life.”

This is apt and it’s kind of been happening behind the scenes. I’ve been working on the business, in the business and on myself in this way. It’s only now I feel like I’m beginning to consolidate and share.

Deep changes and even deeper transformation. I really feel like the adventure has officially begun!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 17 – Al-Matin – Step by Step Persistence

There’s some pathways you come across where you know that there’s a life lesson involved and there’s pathways that show you just how far you’ve come. This was a bit of both for me.

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to connect with the sacred qualities of practicality and deliberation, of small steps taken over a long period of time.”

I know there’s been a massive gap between the last pathway and this one and that’s because there has been a lot of learning and integration that has taken place in the time in between.

In the last pathway I talked a lot about shadow work and learning to take responsibility for the parts of yourself that are difficult to own. I feel that this pathway has taken me in a lot deeper and shown me how shadows work on a whole new level.

The pathway talks about step by step persistence. It says, “Love also demands this type of persistence, especially when a relationship has begun to mature beyond attraction, in to something deeper.”

This is what I’ve been exploring on a number of levels within myself since I last posted on my journey with the pathways. Self-love is something that I’ve been learning to cultivate for a long time and one of the biggest realisations was just how much deeper I needed to go with this.

I feel like my relationship with myself and also with my work has reached that level of maturity that the pathway talks about. I relate it to my own journey. When I first discovered energy healing, it led me to create an idea of who I wanted to be and the work I wanted to do. As I travelled on this path, I started becoming that woman I always saw myself to be and doing the work I wanted to do. I saw myself making the difference I wanted to make and I am achieving that.

I look upon that now as the honeymoon period when I started to fall in love with myself, or at least this idea of who I wanted to be. I put all my effort and energy in to pursuing this dream. I worked hard to become that person and find what needed to be healed.

As my relationship with myself and the love I have cultivated for myself and my work starts to mature and deepen, I find that there are challenges and it doesn’t get easier. The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we are challenged to love our imperfections. The more we are challenged, the deeper in to ourselves it takes us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been paying attention to what’s happening in my life. I’m observing what I’m doing and saying. I’m observing what other people are doing and saying and I am learning a great deal. To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.

I find I’m not the woman I fell in love with. I’m not willing to be defined that way or any way but I’m finding I love myself anyway. Who I am, just like any long term relationship, has morphed and changed. It just is what it is and doesn’t need defining anymore. When that happens, that relationship really doesn’t look like what you thought it would. When you get to this place, you realise that kind of love takes strength. It takes persistence and courage. It takes a conscious decision that even though it isn’t what you thought it would be, you’re choosing to love it anyway.

My path over the last few weeks has been a rollercoaster on a personal and emotional level. I’ve had some really tough challenges and I’ve had to really make a decision about how I feel about myself and what I’m going to do for myself out of love for myself. It’s meant shutting down for a while. It’s meant standing my ground. It’s meant not allowing anyone else’s opinion to cloud how I feel. It’s meant reaching in for my own truth. It’s meant expressing, sharing and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

The detail of what I’m facing is irrelevant but suffice to say that there will always be people who try to bring you down. Some with their words and some with their actions. I say this because with the last pathway we talked about being responsible for ourselves and our projections. I’m also learning to discern my own truth and that means that rather than own everything, I’m recognising that people play out their own pain by throwing it at other people. This is what I mean when I say “To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.” I’m not willing to own someone else’s pain. I bless their journey but I know what’s mine and what’s not.

If you allow anything to cause doubt within yourself, you lose. When you love another, you trust them with your whole heart and you don’t doubt if they are true. When you love yourself, you must see it exactly the same way. I’ve learnt this and it’s unearthed a massive strength in me.

Persistence means that you have to fight for yourself. As an empath, I’m great at fighting for others but maybe not so good at fighting for myself. One of things that this pathway has shown me is just how much I love myself and love my work. When push comes to shove, if my ability to do my work is threatened, I will fight to the death and I will win. Nothing is going to bring me down and each time it tries to take me down, I come back a hell of a lot stronger. That’s because I know what I bring to this world is important. I’m fighting for me but I’m also fighting for all of those people who benefit from what I do.

I think the most beautiful thing that’s come alive for me is this fire that I know I’ve always had in me. I think as you reach in to spirituality, you almost believe that you need to put that fire out for the sake of love and light. That fire is courage in adversity. That fire is fighting for what you believe in. That fire is a relentless amount of self-assuredness. That fire must never be diluted, especially for those that are making a difference in this world.

None of this comes without persistence. None of this comes without a fight. None of this comes without being challenged. For me, I didn’t realise it but this is what I’ve been building step by step. I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything leads you to the moment where you’re at right now. Perhaps you need to be challenged for you to find your strength? Perhaps you need the darkness to come at you for you to overcome it?

I believe that this is all the alchemy of the Universe at work. Every action is a small step towards something greater. I sometimes forget there’s a bigger picture and get bogged down in the detail of it all but I’m human. It sometimes takes adversity to show you just how far you have travelled.

I take great strength from this pathway. It’s a long journey full of twists and turns, full of challenges but look how beautiful it can be. It’s designed to help you find yourself and if you can see that, you’ll keep at it.

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 16 – Flexible Strength

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a flexible strength that can adapt to any situation and yet remain rooted in, and moving toward, the purpose of your life.”

This pathway came at just the right time for me to integrate many of the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I’ve talked before about distraction and how sometimes being an empath can mean that you get absorbed and pulled in to everyone else’s stuff. We can feel resentful because our full focus is not on our own mission.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been consciously looking at how I get pulled away and distracted and I’ve made a lot of changes. The first thing that I want to say is thank you to all the true friends that have understood that I’ve needed me and my work to come first. It’s appreciated more than you know.

One of aspects of this pathway is developing strength from the way that we look at the past. For those of you that know me, you’ll know I do a lot of work with the shadow aspect. The shadow is all about looking at all the things that you’re not so comfortable with and I feel that it’s a way of breaking down the ego.

The pathway talks about forgetting the past and just keeping going. I find this really interesting and I don’t take that literally. I think there is much to be gained by understanding that you can’t just put your past in a box and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Part of shadow work is to revisit some of the more uncomfortable parts and to work through them and with them in a way that allows us to learn more about who we are. This process helps us to accept parts of ourselves that we may have disowned because of shame or anger at the way we behaved. Learning love and compassion for yourself means that you have to go in and be able to accept all of this to be whole.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t care to name and shame because it is deeply troubling. These parts usually are distinguished as the judgements we make about others. It’s hard to accept that that’s ourselves being reflected back at us. I know when I first started working with my shadow aspects, it sent me in to deep despair and it was so easy to let those things bring me down. That was because I didn’t fully own them and I hadn’t healed from them and so they still had a lot of power of me as a person.

It is easy when we face adversity to act out old shadows. Sometimes it is that inner child surfacing and being able to face yourself takes courage. It means being able to feel pain, shame, anger, fear and know that it has a place within you along with everything else. The spiritual journey isn’t all love and light and rainbows and unicorns! There are times when it is deeply uncomfortable getting to the truth. And the truth isn’t always fashionable enough to wear so we wear a mask instead. All of this starts to become apparent as you work with the shadow. It takes courage and being human, sometimes my courage fails but I think even approaching your shadow is a good start.

I do this because I want to be authentically myself. Sometimes authenticity can get lost in politeness and people pleasing. You’ll notice how that feels in yourself and I know that I don’t like it. I don’t like letting people down but when it’s a choice between that and letting myself down, I’ve learnt that it’s not always easy to choose me. It’s something that will take time to master and there’s a lot to work through.

There is darkness within all of us but part of our inner work is to face it and begin the alchemical process of transmuting it and learning to shine light on it so that it becomes something more than just a painful memory. From this process, we develop the flexible strength that this pathway is teaching us about. A person is more than the sum of their parts. When we identify all the parts, we become that something more. This is what I’m talking about. It isn’t the easiest thing to name those parts and become that something more.

When you know yourself, you are truly resilient in the face of adversity. When you are reluctant to face all aspects of yourself, you’re likely to be triggered. I think it always goes, “Trigger first, lesson later!” We need time to ponder and reflect and life is amazing in the way that it presents the lessons to us on a plate. Each trigger is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes it starts with a bitch and a vent, but as you work through it, you realise that you need to own that judgement that you’ve made because it’s showing you who you are. When you’re at peace with it, you’ll experience it without being triggered. This is true strength.

There’s “who we like to think we are” versus “who we actually are” and the ego likes to hold on to it’s ideas about our identity and how we define ourselves. We have deeply set ideas, some so deep set that we’ve yet to see them.

There’s always more to do in breaking down the ego and it can sometimes feel like you’re treading water and that you’ll never be free of it. Even that is an acceptance in itself. You are in the actual process when you acknowledge it and try to make peace with it. It always feels better to me to acknowledge that I am on my way to something. It’s the process that’s more important than the outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we realise that it’s too big. When we focus on the process, we see that we’re taking steps towards something. A step in the direction you’re choosing feels better than perfection.

It’s always interesting to say the least working with the shadow aspect. We start to discover just how many lies we have told ourselves – more than we care to admit. It’s a level of honesty that you can’t really be ready for when it hits you. It makes sense to do it though because you arrive at a truer version of yourself than the one you are now. Constantly moving and evolving to get to the truth of who you are is meaningful work and it grows you.

And once you start on the quest for truth, you can’t stop!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Being an “Old Soul”

Pathway 15 – Al-Muqaddim – Preparing the way

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to acknowledge the part of your being that feels “oldest,” and prepare the way for power to flow through your life.”

So this is the pathway that I have been exploring and it started with a healing transmission that I did at the beginning of November which started a profound shift for me in terms of accessing the oldest parts of my being.

Power is an interesting concept, particularly for me. Since I began on this journey, everything has been about stepping in to my power and continuously I’m finding newer ways to do this. I had some funny ideas about power when I first started on this journey, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to see it as a positive force in my life.

The pathway really is about delving in to who we are. Our souls were created long before our bodies were and so that part of us has lived and acquired a great deal of wisdom.

One of the things I noticed as soon as I started work with this pathway was the number of references made in relation to me being an “old soul.” The first time I heard that phrase I must have been about 17 and I’d sneaked away to London for the day. I went to Camden Market and was mooching around. I met this guy who looked like an old sage and he was full of love and life. I can still see his face. We ended up chatting for a long while. He caught sight of the palm of my hand and asked if he could have a look. I felt a bit hesitant but I agreed. He told me I was a very old soul but it wouldn’t be later in life until I realised what that meant. I’d completely forgotten about this experience and now that I’m writing about it, it brings it all back for me.

The story came back to me because I’ve only just realised that what he set in motion has resulted in this here today and I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. In this work, I am fortunate enough to be deliberately and consciously setting in motion change for those I work with.

It made me look at how I work with people and what I’m able to access. The pathway drew me to connect even deeper within myself. We spend life trying to define who we are in this world when really who we are sits within our soul. Once we start connecting to that deeper sense, everything in life starts to move around us for us to be able to fully understand and return to that original soul self.

The pathway is about returning back to our original image and this journey here in this world is what creates the means for us to do this. Life teaches us the nature of who we really are on one level. I’m talking about going beyond that. I’m talking about being from a place that you can’t access in a physical way.

For those of you who have read previous blogs, you’ll know that I talk about “going home” and by that I mean that place where we came from that’s before this world or any other world. It always seemed separate from me until I started to understand how to channel it in this world. I have more of a sense of belonging now that I ever have.

The adventure with this pathway was to learn how to go deeper within and I have found that connecting with this idea that I have been this energy for much longer than the 39 years here on earth has had a profound shift in my energy. I understand power on a much deeper level and it really is having an impact on the way I’m choosing to live.

The whole world looks different to me as a result. I’ve always been seeking to find my place here on Earth and each time I find it, I find new levels of understanding it. It’s not possible, I don’t think, to understand your place here unless you also understand where your soul has been.

I’m blessed to be an old soul and it really is becoming a distinct part of who I am. It gives me a uniqueness as a person. It has also made me curious enough to delve deeper. All of this enquiry is for a reason – this I know for certain. Synchronistically with this pathway, I’ve discovered aspects of my ancestry that have helped me to understand my spiritual gifts on a much deeper level. When healing is literally in your blood, you have no choice but to accept that’s who you are. It’s beautiful and it’s taken my sense of belonging to another level which is great for me and for the world!

I think the most amazing aspect of this pathway though is allowing yourself to open up and letting the power of YOU flow through. The more you access this part of yourself, the more you are preparing the way for what’s to come next. One of the beautiful things about this pathway is that it opens you up to wonder. I always talk about potential and fulfilling that potential but this is on a whole other level. It’s like you’ve got back up and support and everything you need. It’s like you are that potential in every moment.

With this pathway being so profound and deep, I’m actually having a challenging time in articulating how it’s making me feel. Suffice to say though that like all the other ways, it is changing me for the better. The closest phrase to describe how I feel is that “I am really coming into my own.” That sort of captures it.

The feelings you get when you’re accessing this are out of this world. Phenomenal. I wish I could tell you how or what to do to get there because everyone needs to feel this. I’m still integrating and working that out but when I have that in a practical form, I will share it. There is a sense of pride that comes from knowing yourself in this way. It isn’t an ego thing, simply a sense of contentment and being sure about who you are. This may not make much sense but if you know, you know.

There is a whole other world and worlds within worlds to discover. Such is the beauty of connecting to yourself, your power, your lineage, your ancestry, and the source of all that power.

“This is love.

To fly toward a secret sky,

to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.

First to let go of life.

Finally, to take a step without feet.”

Rumi

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Maintaining and nourishing yourself

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a very steady yet powerful state of awareness in your being that maintains and nourishes you and others.”

This is the pathway that I’ve been reflecting on this past week and it is one that presents plenty of challenges for me. Embodying a steady state is something that I have been working on for as far as I can remember. For me, there is a juxtaposition here with being a free spirit.

This pathway requires pulling yourself inwards whilst you experience life. Being a free spirit, it’s easy for my heart to be called elsewhere. I want to talk about this because for me it is one the most challenging aspects of who I am as a person. This is where the conflict lies and I’m noticing that it is how my power escapes sometimes.

I know I have this immense reservoir of love within me and the capacity to nourish and give to others. This pathway takes me further in to using this source to help maintain myself and it is this very thing that I have been trying to do for a long time. This pathway has helped me to uncover a whole other level and given me an awareness and perspective that goes deeper.

For those of us that are empathic, it’s very easy to relegate our own needs in order to serve others. We think that this is why we came here – to serve. That’s part of it but not the whole of it.

This pathway really made me look at the way I give and the expectations that I have created from others around me. When I began to pull it back and go within, what struck me is how very little I have given myself. With a reservoir so large, it’s almost as if I think can survive on a lot less from the pot so rather than taking from it, I put in to it. This brings up feelings of guilt and feeling selfish. At the same time, I look around me and notice that perhaps I feel this more because of the belief that I came here to serve. There are deep set emotions here about worthiness attached to this and whether I deserve to take when I can give so much. It became obvious to me that there was very little balance in my life when it came to this.

It’s been a really challenging week and working with this pathway has actually made me feel really sad. I have to be raw and honest about how I feel. That’s what this space is for and it needs to be expressed.

The pathway also reminds me that I must not overextend myself. This is what occurred to me and I can see clearly where I am doing this. I can blame being an empath to some extent but the truth of it is that I have plenty of fleeting whims and distractions all created by my ego to prevent me from embodying this state. I can see that very clearly. I realised that I can’t hide behind anything anymore. Especially not when it has been shown to me this clearly. When you realise how little you have given yourself, it brings up anger and resentment and I’ve had to spend a lot of time working with this. I’ve allowed this and I forgive myself. I can change and that is what I am doing. Easy statements to make but if you’ve ever gone through this, you’ll know the raw emotion it brings up.

This idea of sacrifice comes with this type work and it’s something that keeps coming up for me to clear away. The idea that being in service should be at the expense of your own self simply isn’t true. I am entitled to a life just like everyone else. There’s a paradox here as the “service” is actually what I have chosen to do. It’s my own path I’m creating so it is as much for me as it is for humanity. The ego makes you choose one or the other and we are conditioned to believe that choosing service to others is the better thing to do. In actual fact, we can have both but it takes a lot of unlearning which I am still learning to do.

When I call the ego out on this, the contradictions are so very obvious. There is so much pain in saying goodbye to old ways of being. I’ve always tried to be conscious of what my ego is doing and exploring the pathways has brought up a lot of wounds that need to be healed within myself.

It isn’t easy getting the balance within yourself between serving others and serving yourself. We are brought up with conditioning that tells us that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught a linear way of thinking that suggests that if we think about ourselves first, it means that we don’t care about others. It’s difficult to shift to a way of thinking that enables you to be equal to others and there’s a perception that to consider yourself equal equates to being egotistical. It gets really complicated because you can think this logically in your head but when the feelings of guilt show themselves, your heart gets pulled straight back. This is what I’m grappling with.

I’m always banging on about self-worth and I’m a work in progress but what I am learning here has come at a critical time for me. My life is interesting because of the demanding nature of my work. I get phone calls and text messages all the time asking me all sorts of things. I’ve always felt the need to answer and help and I don’t regret helping. I do sometimes resent the demands and that’s me being really honest. I take full responsibility for this now where in the past I’d have blamed others. I’ve created and met these expectations without even thinking about it and it’s difficult to undo without experiencing emotional turmoil. Meeting demands is what I’ve been looking at taking a step back from because there is a line where my work ends and I begin and that can get blurred very easily. Even though boundaries have been set, a plea for help is a plea for help and my heart isn’t one that can ignore it easily. So it’s been an emotional time because for each time that has happened, I’ve had to ask myself who I am putting first. I’m learning to deal with the emotion that comes with it and I can tell you it isn’t easy but it is necessary. This is a spiritual lesson that needs to be learned.

A strong feeling of discomfort comes from taking a step back. It’s like going against what your heart is telling you when you don’t reply to a plea for help but I had to explore this feeling for myself. It feels as if people are relying on me. It feels that there is an urgency for them that I am ignoring and that somehow makes me a bad person. Again, this linear way of thinking is one I’m learning to undo because a lot of that conditioning simply isn’t true.

What I have realised with this pathway is that I go deep and I do have a lot to give. My priority has become to maintain that within myself. Embodying a steady state of awareness and power is important but I didn’t realise how important it was for maintaining and nourishing myself. I thought I was doing that and I know now that I am not doing enough of it. The reason for this is the raw emotion, the guilt, the anger, the feeling selfish that I’m still learning to overcome. And all this just to feel equal to others! It’s mind blowing because I thought I was overcoming myself in terms of self-worth but there’s always more I need to be shown and more I need to do.

It’s interesting because although I do take a lot of time for myself and I switch off when I have to, I’ve developed some sticky habits when it comes to work. It’s the belief that work overrides everything because of it’s nature. It doesn’t though. What overrides everything is my state of being and my ability to maintain and nourish myself and I’m starting to look at that as often as I can in response to meeting the worlds demands on me. I’m taking it one moment at a time and seeing how it feels to choose me.

Just when you think you’ve got the self-worth thing down, the universe throws you a massive curve ball. With things changing as rapidly as they are, this is a very valuable lesson that the universe is giving me. I’ve noticed how quickly it can become about everything else. I’ve noticed how my free spirit slips away under the mask of empathy.

Old beliefs and old habits are dying hard. I’m working hard on taking the shame out of “I’m putting myself first.” It’s one I think a lot of us can relate to. If nice people finish last, I’m not ok with that and so I’m determined to prove that wrong.

I am just as important as everyone else and I’m determined not to forget it!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 13 – Ar-Rauf – Healing Wings

So after quite a long break, I decided today to pick back up on the pathways again because it felt like I needed to reconnect. The last few months have been a time for extreme expansion and inner healing for me and so I caught this pathway and found myself working through it. It’s always as if this book knows exactly what is needed and this is the beauty of life. If you seek answers, you’ll find them. Sometimes, it isn’t the answer we were looking for. Sometimes it is the truth and we find that hard to bear, but nevertheless it is an answer.

This pathway is about reconnecting your heart to Unity. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we do not exist in isolation from others. I’ve always been quite a solitary person. I’ve also been a very strong person and my story always goes, “I don’t need anyone.”

The one thing I have learnt from my story is that when you give off the vibe that you don’t need anyone, you attract people that couldn’t care less about you. Have a think about that one. I know I did.

Receiving help and healing from others is one of the hardest things that I have had to learn. I am still learning it if I’m really honest.

This pathway for me showed me what that was all about. The last few months for me have been a struggle to stay in balance. When the ego falls away, we feel lost. When all our beliefs are challenged, we question who we are. When we feel lost, we need help and coming in to balance means that we need to connect on three deep levels.

Firstly we need to connect with Divine Source to truly be able to see the world through Creator’s eyes. We need to connect deep within ourselves to discover our desires and joy. We also need to connect ourselves with everything that is around us because like I said, we do not exist in isolation.

Without going in to too much detail, I’ve had experiences over the last few months that have really challenged me on all three levels and the expansion and awareness has changed me. For me this pathway is about recognising the struggle that we have when we become disconnected.

We think we have everything sussed and sorted and then along comes someone or something that brings out a whole lot more in you that needs to be healed. Someone or something that makes you question what you believe in. Someone or something that makes you admit what you really want isn’t in alignment with your story. Someone or something that allows you to open up and receive help and healing.

It is opening on a deep level and often these things are unexpected and meant to throw you off balance. All UNLEARNING is learning and part of the soul’s journey is to disconnect to be able to reconnect. We can arrive in a comfort zone with our spirituality unless we continuously challenge what we hold to be true. That in itself brings us to a better understanding of the Divine, of ourselves and of the world around us.

This separation between ourselves and Creator/ourselves/our world is something I want to touch on because for a lot of empaths like me, we have this yearning for home. We don’t know where home is but we have always had this longing and this deep sadness because we feel separated from it. Those of you who know, will know.

This pathway pointed to something quite poignant for me. It led me to explore all the times that I had tried to heal the separation within myself. The separation and disconnectedness can be healed through this idea that we are part of Unity. That is home.

Being spiritual isn’t simply about a set of ideals and beliefs. It’s about connecting on the three levels that I have mentioned. It is about striving to achieve that balance within yourself. It’s about repairing all the connections and this for me is the deepest kind of healing.

Sometimes we are shown through trauma and experience. Sometimes we are shown by another person who has entered our lives to teach us this very lesson. All I know is that you need to dig deep and challenge what you think you already know about yourself. For me, it was reminding myself that I also need help.

It is when I need help, comfort, affection that I am at my most vulnerable because it challenges my story. I’m admitting this here and now and I’m choosing to see this as a strength. Over the last few months, I’ve seen what compassion really is from people I would not have expected it from and it’s taken me to new depths in the way I operate in the world.

I’ve learnt what it means to receive compassion and real love and to be able to express it for another. I’ve learnt that I am absolutely safe being vulnerable because I trust that Divine is always looking out for me. I’ve learnt that when I am out of balance, I need to heal the separation within myself.

This pathway took me to a whole new level of opening within myself. I thought my heart was open and I’ve learnt that even though it is open, it can open so much wider.

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 12 – Al Muhsi – Assessing What Is

I started this pathway at the beginning of Ramadhan and now feels like a good time to write about it.

“When you are drawn to this pathway, take the opportunity to stop and look through the eyes of Divine clarity at your life as it is right now.”

If this Ramadhan has taught me anything at all, it is mindfulness and being present. A lot of crap has been happening and a lot of good things have been happening too. I’ve been looking at the way I manage myself through these situations.

As someone who suffers from anxiety, this pathway again has taught me acceptance of things as they are now. I’ve said this before but you don’t necessarily have to like what’s happening to accept it. When you reject it, it creates a whirlwind of anxiety and feels overwhelming.

Sometimes you have to cut through the crap of what you want things to be or how you think things should be. At the root of it is what is happening RIGHT NOW and often we look at situations through a different lens. We stay in disappointment when we focus on as we want it to be. Nothing in life is going to be that picture perfect. Every moment is leading you to the next moment and everything is temporary and transitory. It’s very much what you choose to believe that has an impact on hardening or softening your anxiety.

The perfection is in this present moment. Accepting what IS can be really challenging because it involves surrendering. This is the ego as it starts to fall away. The ego is what you believe to be true and when that goes, parts of your identity start falling away with it. I could go a whole lot deeper with this idea, but I will save this for another post! Suffice to say that we are working with what we believe to be true in so many ways and the way we assess “what is” has a lot to do with what we believe to be true. It is always laced with judgement about our current situation.

It’s amazing how much stress falls away when you bring your mind to what is happening right now as if that is all there is. It is one of those things that you have to keep reminding yourself of. One of the things that I have been doing that has really helped me this Ramadhan is to try and be in this state of continuous dialogue with my Creator.

It helps because it means that you are talking to your Creator as if you are talking to yourself which makes you more conscious of the things that you are saying. It means that you can continuously ask for the help that you need in every moment. It also means that you can spend a lot more time in the here and now. When the worries come up, you can ask for help with them and then go back to noticing what is around you and expressing gratitude for it. It alleviates a great deal of stress for me!

It’s funny but what prompted me to write this post makes me chuckle now. I’m sat at Bru on my laptop as I write this. I’m waiting on a call from the garage because I took my car in for a service this morning. They’ve called me once already to tell me there’s work to be done and it’s going to cost me more than I thought. I felt a slight panic as I don’t actually have the money for it. That’s what credit cards are for and I’m grateful that I can defer payment but as the time comes closer to paying that bill, I can see the panic setting in. So as always, I have asked God to find me a way and holding on to that Golden Thread because everything happens for a reason.

Now, in this moment, I have two choices. I can either worry that I won’t have the money or I can trust that it will come from somewhere. I know what happens when I go in to worry. It means that I am not being present and I can get taken off on a tangent. The other option is to stay in the moment and focus on what I am doing right now which is to keep writing this post. Keep writing and just not think about something that hasn’t happened yet.

Now I know how my mind works and I will be back and forth from this thought about how I’m going to pay that bill but if I allow it to distract and then consume me, I am not going to be able to focus on getting anything done. Do you see how it works?

I have to accept that it has happened for a reason and use it to keep me focused on what I am doing. That is the clarity that this pathway talks about. It is clarity about my purpose. There’s something very magical about this present moment. It is a state of empowerment and clarity. It is a place of self-mastery. It’s understanding that you can deliver your purpose and all you need to do is stay focused on the actions that will help you to do this. I know for a fact that is all I need to do. Everything else is taken care of. Sustenance and provision is something that comes from that same Source. Creator provides. One way or another, I know it’ll be taken care of and so when I think of it like that, the worry begins to melt away.

Life is one of those things that is unpredictable. That’s a given. There is always uncertainty and that’s a given. However, if we embrace it and see where it takes us, it can feel expansive and exciting. If we worry, our energy contracts and we can’t see past the end of our own noses.

Life as it is right now.

What does that mean? It means looking around for things to appreciate. It means being thankful that the help is there. One of the big things for me working with this pathway is being able to see that some things happen so that other things can happen. We don’t always realise at the time, but what will happen for us in the future is dependent on what is happening now.

So if I look at this bill, perhaps this is what will create abundance for me. I know it’s money going out, but it is an opportunity to keep wealth circulating and by doing that I have contributed to the way the world goes round.

Everything is a dependency. I may be a speck in the grand design of this Universe, but I am a deliberately designed speck with a purpose. If we focus inward, we can create a sense of inner stability that we ride on when there is nothing certain in outer world. It is knowing that we are part of something greater and that there are other things that are dependent on us. Therein we do not exist in isolation, even when the world’s problems are beating down on us and it doesn’t feel like there is a way out. What happens next is dependent on this present moment.

Cultivating inner stability allows you to grow and change. I know even a year ago, this bill would have pushed me over the edge. It comes down to our outlook and belief that things are always getting better for us. Whatever is sent for us is good for us. This is an opportunity to trust in abundance even if things don’t look the way I want them to look right now. At least I have a car that is roadworthy and it’ll keep me safe.

ENABLING yourself with these beliefs is the way to create the way you want to be feeling right now. The way you feel is what creates the next thing. That is Law of Attraction in a nutshell.

If you can look around and be happy with what you have and be in acceptance of all of it, it helps. It is understanding that as you look around, everything is already changing because everything is temporary. Sometimes, it can feel as though nothing is really happening but life and the whole Universe is in continuous motion. When I think about this, it blows my mind. You can sit still and watch the whole Universe moving around you know that you too are moving even if you don’t feel it. It’s crazy!

I’ll conclude this pathway by asking you to take a moment today to sit still and notice at how much has moved for you. Think about the things you can’t see and the things that you can. Understand that you are in constant motion. Take a breath and allow yourself to catch up with THIS present moment.

Let me know how it feels!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 11 – Al-Musawir – Designing and Training

 

Now this pathway I found really interesting for where I am in my life. I have just been away to Istanbul. My second visit to what I consider in many ways to be a spiritual home.

I was called the first time, and fortunate enough to be called again. The first trip triggered a long process of cleansing and clearing, and those experiences led me to where I am at now. All the good, the bad and the ugly that needed to be raised to make me who I am was as a result of that trip and I’m certainly grateful for it. Although at the time, I had no idea that it would be the catalyst for such massive change.

I feel as if everything that I had asked for on that first trip had been achieved so going back felt like closure in a way. A feeling of peace and gratitude, but also space to shape the next phase of my life.

This pathway gave me just that. It is about shaping our lives, but also allowing ourselves to be shaped through our experiences. It highlights that the Divine shapes and moulds us in to what we are through our experiences and that process is one of continuous evolution.

For me, this pathway made me think again about who I want to be. I felt like I have grown in to the person I wanted to be, but sometimes when that process is complete, there is a void to fill.  The pathway shows us that we are being moulded and kneaded in to shape all of the time. This can either feel like we want to escape life or embrace it – and it very much depends on how much we are able to surrender to the process.

While I was away, I had some magical experiences and moments of insight and wisdom. You know when you cross paths with strangers and the words exchanged are just what you needed to hear and the answer is clear? Those sorts of experiences that I will cherish and never forget. Accidental happenings that answered the questions I was seeking answers to.

Practicing this pathway made me realise that the route to getting here was a long journey of many steps, yet I was feeling so impatient about knowing the answers and for me, it showed me that the answers keep revealing themselves. Sometimes you just have to relax and it becomes crystal clear.

The first stage is this concept of surrendering and accepting that I do not know best. It’s funny that when you allow yourself to be guided, everything becomes a message from the Divine and you can feel your heart talking to you and leading you to where you need to be. For me, surrender has always been challenging and I am still working on it. I noticed pretty much straight away how much expectation plays a role in my suffering and sense of control. Surrender means acceptance of everything, good and bad and saying I am happy with this. I thought I had this down, but exploring this pathway made me see my inner control freak in full blown technicolour. It also made me look at my Ego in a different way, and helped me to see aspects of my shadow that I had been avoiding looking at.

This places control in a different light in that we try so hard to avoid confronting the shadow aspects of ourselves. We feel guilt and shame for feeling the way we feel about certain things, and this is something that we hold. Using this pathway, surrendering those feelings simply by acknowledging that they were present within me gave me a sense of peace. It also gave me permission not to be in control, and a realisation that I could experience this shadow aspect without causing any harm to anyone else.

I think as human beings, we have an idea of what a “good” person should or should not think or do and when we have emotions that conflict with this, it becomes difficult to deal with because we feel like it makes us a bad person and it is shameful. Through this pathway, I felt like I was learning all over again to be responsible for everything I was feeling and to really own it. It is difficult to own your Ego and overcome shadow feelings. Sometimes we feel bitterness, resentment, irritation, anger, impatience, envy, rejection, sadness, misery but we think we can not feel it fully because it has an impact on the people around us. Sure, people may notice that you are not yourself, but you can not harm them with what you are feeling. You only harm yourself by not honestly facing what is there.

This pathway about designing and training is about living honestly and understanding the contrast that the shadow aspects of yourself allow you to see. By avoiding the shadow, there is a clear message that these are emotions you do not want to feel. This resistance is also a resistance to allowing the Divine to shape you. It contradicts acceptance and surrender to all things that are bestowed on you, regardless of how it all feels to you.

By knowing what you don’t want, ultimately you understand what you do want. I felt like the counter emotion to all these shadow aspects I was discovering is Love. When I asked myself, “How do I want to redesign my life?” the answer is with Love. To work through your shadows, you need Love. To ensure your reality feels good to you, you need Love. To surrender, you need Love.

The pathway is about continuous evolution and the way Creator changes us over time, and in our darkest moments we forget that even that is out of Love. This whole process of being human with all it’s intricacies is made easier with Love.

I remember how it used to be before I came to this path. I always used to think “Why me?” when I recalled all the moments of darkness, all the painful experiences, all the suffering I felt I had to go through. It all makes perfect sense though when I think about it because I needed to go through all that to be here doing this. You never grasp it at the time, but there are some experiences that are absolutely necessary as without them, you can not appreciate the fullness of your gifts here on Earth.

Finally, for me this pathway was very much about getting out of my own way and almost disappearing to allow the life force to work on moulding me. The trouble with the human mind is that it always has an opinion on what is happening! This pathway has taught me neutrality in it’s purest sense and given me a sense of curiosity. It taught me that I can set an intention and ask for something and it will be received. However, the way I receive it and the timing are not things I have any control over. It allowed me to pose the question, “What happens if I do nothing?” and I was finding clear guidance and signs and synchronicities as a result. It gave me confirmation that there are signs, and the path is lit up, but we are so caught up in trying to control and mould our own lives that we forget that there is a bigger picture. This higher plan will play out regardless of whether we do or we don’t.

From this, I took away something very important and that is the feeling of peace that comes with accepting the good and the bad and being happy with all emotions. Although we may not entirely be convinced that what happens to us is for the best, if we can see that it isn’t the end point and take the lessons that it brings, it gives us peace. Where my Ego would say that’s passive, it makes sense to just drop it and get out of my own way by saying, “Yes ok – thank you because I know this is leading me somewhere.” The critical learning is that in that moment of GRRRR – it isn’t the end point yet your ego will make you feel like it is. Continuous motion, continuous learning and continuous evolution. If you grasp this, life becomes something very different and the joy comes back. It is, in itself, a way of connecting and staying connected through the pain.

When you reject a situation, you become separated and disconnected from Source and it feels that there is no help and support. Why would Creator do this to you? As Rumi said, “The cure is in the pain.” In actual fact, it is an opportunity for you to accept and be the closest that you can be to Creator. Those painful emotions are a way of bringing you closer to the Truth but it is only through facing those shadows that we get there.

The pathway recommends that we get a feel for the design of our lives even if all the steps are not clear yet. It also suggests that we look at what’s going on inside us with love and discipline to clear and dissolve. It shows us that there isn’t an end point. Nothing is good and nothing is bad. It is all purely experience that shapes us.

It may not make sense at the time, but it will one day. For me, it is stepping back and allowing these experiences to support personal perfection, learning and growth. It is not judging the feelings and experiences and it is understanding that Love changes and moulds everything.