To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it. Lately, I’ve been working to try and reach more people and that’s because I know I can really make a difference. I know there’s more to do and I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this so I thought I’d share my thinking on this with you.
So I know that I have a real impact on people’s lives. I know that healing has helped make massive leaps for people’s careers. I’ve helped people come back from absolute rock bottom. I know that there’s some clients who literally trust me with their lives. I know that I’ve helped people avoid being on prescription drugs and even helped some people to come off them. I know I’ve helped people become confident and assertive. I know I’ve helped people overcome their fears of intimacy. I know I’ve helped people make sense of their spiritual journey and taught them how to work on themselves. I’ve seen people grow and blossom in front of my eyes. I’ve helped people to take charge of their own destiny and given them the perspective that’s helped them to believe that everything is possible.
The list is endless and you’d think that this would be enough evidence for me to believe in myself, right? Well, I’m going to be really honest here and say that I’ve only just started to understand the difference I make to people’s lives and I’m still battling with this. Empaths start on a much lower self-worth level to others in my opinion and it takes a lot to climb to that place where you truly believe in your gifts.
I had a lovely client come in the other day and something he said will stick with me forever. He said, “You can say that your work is rewarding and real satisfaction and that you make a real difference. People will remember you for what you did for them.” I tried to stay cool, but inside my heart dropped a little because I’d not taken that perspective. I usually just bumble along, shrug off the praise and get on with the job. I hadn’t really been listening or taking on board the nice things that people have said because perhaps I didn’t feel that I truly deserved it. I always focus on what else there is left to do and this made me stop and take stock and really appreciate what I have.
I know that when people tell me how much I’ve helped them with the sessions we’ve had together, I still have a hard time accepting the praise. It’s like I still can’t quite believe that I’m doing this.
It takes an awful lot to step up and accept all of who you are. I’m finding this as I battle my way through it. I talk a lot about working with the shadow aspects, but this is like another form of shadow that we also need to work with. Being able to see and accept what you’re putting in to world and the positives it brings is a beautiful thing. What happens is that we think of this as Ego and retreat in to being humble. I know this is what I’ve been doing and actually as a result, I’m not getting what I truly deserve because I don’t truly believe I deserve it.
This is one of the things that I’m trying to set about changing in myself because it’s part of my self-sabotage pattern and I know I’m fed up of living that pattern. In my bones, I feel that it’s time to step up and really be visible about the work that I do. I’m building my confidence. I’m getting better at accepting praise and I’m really listening and allowing the evidence to show me that this journey is well worth the graft. Look at what I can do – it’s magical but in the daily grind, the magic gets lost and forgotten. I want to be the person that still believes in the magic!
It can be overwhelming, but I’m learning that actually praise and kind words are how people are showing love and appreciation. I have to keep my heart open to this love. It doesn’t mean it’s going to my head and it doesn’t make me any less humble. It’s quite a difficult and new concept to me to be able to celebrate the good things that I have put in to the world and be proud of what I have achieved. It’s actually quite scary!
I’m conscious not to take anything for granted because I know where I came from. At the same time, I understand that if I am overwhelmed by it, I’m not in complete acceptance of it. It’s an interesting dilemma because the Ego is shouting “Be humble!” and at the same time you’re at the point where you can’t deny the evidence that’s put before you.
The trick is to define your own sense of identity because there is strength in having that sense of self. The Ego is the false identity and when it screams “Be humble!” at you, it is one of the ways in which it is holding you back and keeping you in the limitations that you’ve been taught.
I never really recognised this fully before now and working with it has been really challenging. I can say in my own mind I believe I make a difference and I’m starting to accept the evidence as real. Remember how deep set the ego ideas and beliefs are.
Defining your own sense of self takes time. I’ve been on this journey a while and I’m still finding false selves and as each mask falls away, it enables me to become more authentic, more real and more confident in my own definition of who I am.
I don’t want to be what I’m taught I have to be in this world. I don’t want to have limitations and restrictions placed on me.
I want to be able to share and celebrate the fullness of who I am. I want to believe that I can attract what I deserve. I want to believe that I truly deserve it.
If any of this resonates and you’re on the path trying to find ways to become who you came here to be, please get in touch with me. I love working with opening hearts and minds to all the possibilities!