Spiritual Insights – Blog


Mevlana Rumi and the City of Hearts

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve been obsessed with Mevlana Rumi. It’s crazy to think that the words of a man who lived over 700 years ago have the power to reach deep into someone’s soul and change the way they think and feel life forever. This is indeed the power and grace of Mevlana Rumi.

“The moment I read my first love story, I started looking for you not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

Mevlana Jelaladin Rumi

Konya in central Turkey is known as the “City of Hearts”. This is the place where Mevlana Rumi is buried. This was the place where I realised that I’d been blind for so long. Mevlana and I didn’t finally meet somewhere. We’ve been in each other all along.

This is the story of how I found the soulmate I was longing for. I entered lost and incomplete. I left with not only my only heart mended but pieces of his soul sewn in to my own. I was reluctant to write this piece, but it’s been just over a month since I got back and the longing in my heart was just too much and so reliving it is bringing healing to my heart.

I only ever had one bucket list item and that was to visit Rumi’s tomb and shrine. It’s always been a dream. I’ve been banging on about it for years and years and finally the call came during a deep meditation. I saw light, blinding light and from beyond that light, I saw the beautiful, colourful shrine of Mevlana Rumi. Beyond that I saw a cloaked dervish gesturing, “Come, come.” I remembered the words from a poem of his.

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again , come , come.”

Mevlana Jelaladin Rumi

And so I booked it and off I went. I landed at the same time as the first snow. The first sign that this was going to be a poignant journey. My first glimpse of Mevlana Rumi’s beautiful, illuminated, turquoise minaret took my breath, my heart and my soul away. It was freezing cold outside but something inside of me was already beginning to melt.

I slept well and I slept deeply that night because I knew I was home. It’s funny because I’ve always had trouble sleeping anywhere that isn’t my own bed. I didn’t even think about it and fell asleep peacefully as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up to a bright, crisp day in Konya. I opened the curtains to see what view they’d given me. I saw snow topped trees and mountains and there it was again…I could see Mevlana Rumi from my window so I told him I’m on my way.

I got ready and wandered happily down the road. I had to take a few deep breaths as I got to the entrance. I just stood there, looked up and told him I’m here. I’m entering lost and incomplete and I don’t want to leave until I’ve found what it is that will complete me. The energy of the shrine is pure love and as you walk in, you begin to feel yourself melting uncontrollably.

I stood before him and found that I had no words and no thoughts. It was as if my brain and my mouth had been sealed shut. I’d come with so many hopes and wishes and so much to talk to him about but I couldn’t locate any of that. Like a crazy person who has lost leave of their senses, I had no choice but to sit silently. I had no idea how deeply that energy had gone in to me. I had planned to sit there all morning but I felt like I couldn’t be there very long. I stayed about half an hour and then went to get some breakfast. I wandered like a dervish for the rest of the day and went back for a short while before the shrine closed for the day before I went back to my hotel room.

I could feel the restlessness and so I decided to meditate and that was my first experience of Mevlana Rumi. I say my first…I became very aware that it was my first conscious experience. I’d heard that voice many times before.

I felt lost, confused and angry. He’d brought me all the way here and I had come and I didn’t even know what I was doing or why I was here. I was in this meditation feeling inner turmoil as if all the darkness was being pushed to the surface and with it, all the fear I’d ever experienced in my life. All the lies I’d told myself about being ok and all the masks I was wearing started to taunt me. I could see a black hole and he asked me if I wanted to go through it. I was petrified but I couldn’t come this far only to come this far. I said yes and that’s when the healing began.

I realised that I had been invited here and I was a guest. I wasn’t responsible for anything in this experience and I needed to allow myself to be hosted. I realised my heart was wide open but my mind was full of crap that was getting in my way and blocking me from trusting him to take care of me. All the emotions poured out and poured out and poured out. I had no choice but to let it all go and let it all out.

“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition.”

Mevlana Jelaladin Rumi

This is the difference between living with your mind and living with your heart. Where your mind is, there is pain. Where your heart is, there is freedom. I asked him to take my mind away. I felt like a crazy person talking to him out loud this way but I knew I was seen and heard and I knew he was going to help me.

The next day was an interesting one, acknowledging my mind was the blockage I decided to go back to see him. As I stood before him, I felt myself come back in to my body in a way I’ve never experienced before. It was as if something was literally pulling my feet down in the the ground and holding them down with weights. I decided it was just my heart that would speak without using words. It’s not like I had a choice but stubbornly I had to make it my own idea! I spent a good couple of hours there just sitting and as I left, I felt both an emptiness and a fullness.

So wondering again like a dervish with my heart spinning in some kind of strange ecstasy, I stumbled upon a little tailors shop and this lovely man with bright eyes and the kindest face popped out of the shop and invited me in. Without even thinking, I went in to sit with him. We talked as if we had known each other before and hadn’t seen in each other in a while. He asked how my family was and I asked him the same. He told me his name and that he was a direct descendant of Rumi and a dervish. I bought a beautiful deep green scarf from him because it was cold out. When I left, he gave me the biggest, warmest hug. He placed his thumbs on my forehead, prayed and blew over my head. I felt a coolness in my heart that was the strangest feeling because for the first time in my life, I was happy to be cold.

I left there and wandered down to the masjid of Shams Tabrez, Mevlana Rumi’s soulmate and teacher. I did my prayers and as I was coming down the stairs, I hit the top of my head. This made me giggle because it was as if he too was telling me I didn’t need my brain in this life anymore.

Now there was a whole lot more that happened during my time there but I’m going to leave it there because the rest of it is between me and Mevlana Rumi. Suffice to say that my life has been changed by my beloved forever. I will not see, hear, feel, think, taste or experience the same ever again.

If you ever get the opportunity, just go there. Go there and see what happens. Be open to love and the lessons it brings. You won’t be the same ever again and you won’t regret it either.

With love and blessings,



Cutting Energy Cords

Cord cutting sounds quite brutal, doesn’t it? LOL I’m talking about energy cords here and I thought it was important to share more on this as it’s something that I work with on a daily basis both for myself and in the healing room.

I have to keep my own energy protected as much as possible because I know that it is way too easy to absorb other people’s energy, emotions and even entities. This is important for all empaths to be aware of. If you’re sensitive to energy, you’ll more than likely be picking up, absorbing and retaining the energies around you.

At the end of each day, I check for energy cords, unhealthy attachments and entities and remove them. This work is a part of my daily self-healing routine and I wanted to talk about why it’s important.

When we interact with other people, it is an energy exchange. As this exchange happens over time, the energy builds up in the form of an invisible energy cord. This is often the attachment that a person has to you or you have to them. You’re joined together, connected by this invisible cord. This cord keeps pulling energy out of you regardless of whether the person remains in your life or not. If your past is draining you, it might be time to think about having energy cords cut and removed so that you can let go and move forward in peace.

Energy cords work both ways in the sense that just as others are draining our energy, we may also be draining theirs through the attachment and the energy cord that’s developed over time. We aren’t always aware that we’ve created these cords and we’re certainly not sucking the energy out of people on purpose. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s just the way that energy works so you’ve got to just focus on being responsible for yourself.

You may have some clues in the way a person becomes attached to you or you may be completely unaware of it, but unhealthy attachments feed on your energy leaving you feeling completely drained. Where there’s reliance or an unfair exchange of energy, there’s usually a cord. Remember this works in both directions.

You can have multiple cords from the same person. The most I’ve dealt with in myself is 12 all from the same person. You have cords from your exes, friends, parents. It’s only the ones that are affecting you negatively that need removing.

The energy cords are only ever released with your permission. This is because you have to be ready for them to go. It’s the decision you make within yourself that you’re ready to let go of certain aspects of your life in the pursuit of what’s for your highest good. These cords can’t be forced out unless you’re ready to let them go. By cutting energy cords with love and compassion, we’re releasing any dependency or toxicity in our system. This isn’t about cutting people off in a harsh way. It’s about learning to have healthy relationships without unhealthy attachments.

When you have your energy cords cut, it can feel like a huge relief especially if it’s a relationship that has been heavy on you for a while. Remember everything that we do in the healing room is with your highest good at the forefront and everything is permission based so if you’re not ready to release, that’s also absolutely fine. Sometimes in situations like this, we begin to untangle or loosen the cords as a person is moving towards preparing themselves to move on. Everyone does this in their own way and in their own time.

Cutting energy cords is a way that you can move on and be whole as a person without the influence of others. It helps you reclaim your own heart, your personal power and your ability to make good decisions for yourself. Often we feel like other people hold some power over us that restricts us. It also prevents us from finding our own path in life, especially if we are seeking approval from others with the things that we do and the decisions that we make.

Just to make it clear that nobody is harmed in the process. The other person won’t feel anything. Remember it’s your energy that you’re working on and cutting cords is simply a way of releasing the energy or attachment that isn’t serving you in a healthy, positive and compassionate way. It may be hindering your clarity or stepping on your sense of freedom and releasing it may be the best thing that you can do for yourself and others.

There’s always an integration period that follows any healing session. Remember that your energy has changed from the inside and so it can take a few weeks for your outer world to catch up. Everyone has a different process and will notice different things about themselves and their reactions. Often cutting cords simply creates the energetic space needed in order to make decisions for yourself.

Cord cutting is something that I love doing because I can see how much relief and change my clients get. Often, we’ll work on the cord for a few sessions and once it has been removed, that’s when the accelerated progress happens. Although for some clients, they are so ready and want it gone on the first session. I love a good clean extraction!

I offer cord cutting through a number of different healing methods so you can have this done in a bodywork session, a Reiki session, Emotion Code session and even through a transmission. For sessions, please see this page https://healingworksreiki.com/healing-leicester/

I check for cords as standard with most of my sessions and for me, it’s really important to establish full trust and rapport before any release or extraction takes place. Permission and consent are central to the work that I do.

If you’re going through a breakup or trying to get over someone, or even if you’re getting ready to find new love, cutting cords can really help you. Even if you’re working on your sense of self-worth, watch this to see if resonates!

If you’d like to explore this in your healing journey, please get in touch.



Heartache is something that we will all face at some point in our lives. I’m no stranger to this. It’s not just heartache, but it’s also heart break and it brings with it a deep emotional pain that just needs some form of healing or release.

This tearing apart serves a purpose. The harsher it feels, the deeper it’s opening you up to a way of seeing the world in a unique way. If you think about it, it’s the wounds and the pain that we have experienced that shape who we are as human beings. When we know what that feels like, heartache teaches us compassion and a sense of humanity. Heartache makes us want to reach out and help.

Heartache can also make us shut down though. Emotions are such and they can be unpredictable. What grows one person may totally shut down another. We all come with our own unique set of experiences and circumstances. We all have our own set periods of time before we can begin to go in to the heartache deeper and take the richness that it offers us.

Many of us feel a desperate need to fix this feeling of heartache and make it go away. More often than not because it hurts in a way that feels deeply uncomfortable. However, there is something very beautiful and courageous to being open to having your heart broken. It’s an unspoken rebellious streak that dares life to open you up.

Heartache isn’t necessarily a bad thing because it shows us that our hearts are awake and alive. I’d rather this than the alternative. Even a heart that feels shut down will feel pain and sadness. With this stirring comes a yearning to make things better and that is what’s known as hope. It’s as if a part of us already knows that there is something greater that lies beneath those feelings and the pain is a way of reaching out to Divine Source for help.

We are learning to grow and nurture our hearts. As much as we age and mature, there is something that remains very childlike about our hearts and so there is a need to grow and nurture this. That bewilderment that the heart experiences is a type of innocence that sits within us all. It’s the heart that falls in love and drives the madness within us all. There’s something very special about this feeling. We fall in love, experience heartache but we know that it isn’t impossible for us to fall in love all over again. We know that this can happen as much as we tell ourselves we won’t allow it. This is one of the reasons that we try and protect ourselves.

On a personal level, one of the realisations for me on this spiritual journey is that I do not need to protect my heart because it is already looked after by Divine Source. As many times as it has broken, it has opened up. The heart has an immense capacity to love and be loved and perhaps we underestimate this ability within ourselves.

Even though at times it feels overbearing, there is something fascinating about this wild, raw and untamed being that sits within us. The way that it roars when it is wounded. The way that it cares for others that are hurting. The nature of your heart and the nature of heartache are things that are worth knowing in order to appreciate the richness of being.

It always amazes me just how special and considered this aspect of a human being is and this leads me to believe that we are all seen and recognised by Divine Source. Imagine this Divine Source, the heart of hearts and soul of souls, the essence of every thing – imagine this Creator took time to fashion your heart, your heartaches, your heartbreaks and your journey just for you to come to know and see Him. Each experience of sadness calls you to the One because in that heartache and heart break is a whisper that beckons you back home and back in to your own connection.

Ponder that.

Until next time,

Love Hafsa xx


Does Emotion Code really work?

Emotion Code is an energy healing modality that helps you release negative trapped emotions from all your previous life experiences. It’s a really powerful healing technique and I’m living proof that it works effectively. If you want to know more about it in detail, check this page of the website out @ https://healingworksreiki.com/emotion-code-practitioner-uk/

I was introduced to Emotion Code by my friend when she was training to be a practitioner. I was one of her case studies to clear my heart wall. Again if you want to know more, please watch this video.

My heart wall was causing a lot of blocks for me in my life. At the time, I felt like things just weren’t going my way. I had a really negative attitude towards romantic relationships. I tended to keep away from people and I was finding it difficult to manifest money. I didn’t really trust the process of life and because of my previous experiences, I found trust difficult on all levels. Period.

After clearing my heart wall, I didn’t really feel a whole lot different immediately so I just got on with things. The changes crept up on me slowly and I noticed that things felt different somehow. Everything was starting to pick up in alignment and I had that feeling that things were actually starting to work out. It was one of those ones where you don’t know how that’s happened but you just feel different in a good way.

I decided to train as a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner because I was feeling different and definitely more positive. Emotion Code had a deep and profound impact on me and I wanted to train as a Practitioner because I wanted to take my own self-healing to the next level. As part of the training, I cleared another Heart Wall for myself and I think that was when I noticed the biggest change on all levels, especially with work, manifesting money and attracting healthy relationships.

Emotion Code is one of those things where you wonder if anything is even happening and it all seems a bit random but time and time again, I know it works and it’s really powerful.

As a practitioner of other modalities and as an intuitive healer, I’ve discovered that there’s so much more that it can be used for and so I incorporate it in to my coaching sessions now as well.

If you’d like to know more, please get in touch!


The Spiritual Journey

Spirituality – what is it all about? For me, it’s an understanding of the soul and this idea that there is something greater than us that created us to be in this world. It’s about connecting with this overarching Soul of the world and beginning to find your place in it.

Everyone at some point goes through some sort of awakening where they realise that perhaps there’s more to this world than what we can see, hear, touch, taste and smell. Sometimes it’s after something major has happened when you have this feeling that something is looking after you or has saved you from something far worse.

People experience this awakening in many different ways depending on their life circumstances and experiences. I believe we all have the potential to be awakened. I believe that the breath of Divine Source came through us when we were first created and on a subconscious or unconscious level, we all remember that moment.

The experiences that awaken us are those that trigger that memory and life is never the same again. We know there is something but we just don’t know what that is or how to articulate what it is that we are looking for.

Once activated, this search begins. This search turns in to a mission and it’s everywhere we turn. There are signs everywhere we look. Synchronistic happenings that lead us to people and places and experiences that feel deeply like they were just meant to be.

Through this process we begin to believe in a Divine plan, a blueprint for all life. Within in, we have our own plan that is connected to the paths of others, our own unique Soul Blueprint.

It’s an energy and energy connects. The more we seek, the more we create the energy that pulls in others that seek what we seek. It pulls in the information that we need and the experiences that open us up further.

Curioser and curioser, down the rabbit hole we go. This journey is full of all emotions, not just the joy and wonder but the pain and sorrow. It becomes like doing a PhD whilst riding the big dipper. It’s frustrating. It’s exhilarating. It’s magical. It’s tiring.

We fall in and out of love as we begin to uncover the depths of our own soul. It feels like being deeply in love this spiritual yearning and curiosity. It’s a deeper pull to something that can not be quantified but drives the way that you live your life. It governs your manners, your interactions, your personal space, your sacred self.

This current that lives deep beneath the waters of your soul entices you. It can not be seen, but it’s movement can be felt throughout every aspect of your life. It becomes difficult and challenging to comprehend that this body is a vehicle that houses something so magnificent. A temporary body that is fading away with every breath. We remind ourselves to be conscious that life slips away from us so quickly yet live as if we have all the time in the world.

This body needs reminding. It doesn’t always do as it’s asked but we learn to love it in all its imperfections because it too is a gift, just like the time that we have been granted here. Although it’s just a suitcase, this suitcase has little windows through which the soul seeps out.

We’re lucky if we get a glimpse inside. In each moment of being called, we yearn, our hearts break and keep on breaking as life cracks us open to show the wounds where my Shaikh Rumi says is “where the light has entered.”

In this seeking, we understand our Master’s analogy of the intoxication of this sweet spiritual wine. I don’t care. I need to have more. I need to keep feeling like this. When we surrender to this, even though we are blinded by the light, we know that we are being guided.

Trust is a house built for the broken. You see me clearer than I see myself. What do I know? You know my heart better than I know myself.

I’ll hurt, I’ll break and I’ll bleed in this broken house in this broken world. If I die with surrender, let this be while I am in your house, as your guest.

Salaam (Peace) be with you



Pathway 20 – Al-Majid – Channelling Extraordinary Power

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to affirm the magic of life. Remember that anything you do displays the power and life energy of the One.”

This is an important pathway and I feel certainly for myself as a healer and a teacher, there have been some important lessons to learn as I’ve worked through this. Learning that true power sits in the way that we react and respond to life and there’s certainly been plenty of tests of this over the last month that have shown me how far you can take this pathway within yourself.

This pathway talks about channelling sacred power in a public way which I can relate to deeply because of the work that I do. This is sometimes viewed as both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand you know you’re here to help others and on the other hand you feel like people are taking the piss with the amount of time and energy they take up. The real power is in knowing when to say no to preserve your own energy. The real power is in learning to pull back from things that demand energy from you. Sometimes those demands are subtle and persuasive. Sometimes those demands are guilt laden. Sometimes those demands are innocently made. Sometimes those demands are loud and noisy.

Power sits in how we react and respond both inwardly and outwardly. True power sits with Source and we are a physical manifestation of it. It can take a lot of strength to choose to focus inwards when the world places demands on you. This isn’t just in spiritual work. This is all of us, all the time, any place, anywhere. We are not at the beck and call of the world and the people around us. We choose. Even when it comes to Source, we choose to be in that connection. We choose to be guided. The power is in the choice that we make. This is profound.

I know from my own experience and from my teachers and friends in the spiritual field that often healers are perceived as a bottomless pit of energy and it’s assumed that we are just open to giving endlessly and selflessly. That’s something that very few people wish to address in this field of work for a number of reasons.

Nobody wants to be seen as the bad guy and nobody wants to have a moan about how unfair it is. After all, if you’re here to serve, you’re asking people to dump on you. That’s your call. The thing is that when we express it in that way, there’s a sense of powerlessness about it. There’s a victim speaking here.

Privately, we all feel it. We can all relate to the feeling of being imposed upon and there’s an unfairness that comes with it. Often empaths won’t have the strength to say that’s how they’re feeling and continue to get drained by the people around them. Learning to stand in your own power is a strength in itself. Being able to say how someone is making you feel is a strength in itself.

I think it’s important, not least because the role of a healer or teacher is to activate and support you to channel your own power. Healers often feel that their abilities and connection are taken advantage of but my personal view is that as empaths, we’re going to feel this way if we haven’t set boundaries around what we do. It takes time to learn and time to shift the guilt that comes from saying no.

Our connection to Source is one of the ways in which we fuel and replenish our own energy and self-preservation is alien to empaths but something that certainly needs to be learnt in order for us to do our work here. If we are to serve, we need to be full. When we are full, we give what overflows without any resentment. We are fully in our power when we do that giving and we are fully in our power when we choose not to give because we feel no guilt about that self-preservation. It’s an uncomfortable area and not spoken about much.

One of the most striking aspects about this pathway for me was that it made me understand what it means to conceal power as well as to show it. Power is apparent in everything that we do. This is what the pathway teaches and it’s really important to keep hold of this point as we move through this pathway.

Your power comes from your own connection and this can be seen in the way that you are both inwardly and outwardly with yourself and those around you.

Inwardly, it is a strength to view ourselves as our Creator views us. It is a challenge to think of ourselves as perfect because we are always looking for flaws and striving to become better. Inwardly, the power is in being compassionate and loving towards ourselves. This is easier to extend towards other people but the real power is in understanding how this applies to how you view and treat yourself.

Outwardly, your power sits in your reactions, your confidence, your manners and the way you conduct yourself. This is also as important because we begin to develop a discipline around our character. We begin to use love as the power to guide us in situations where it is not that easy to be love and light. We lovingly set boundaries that serve our highest good and begin to teach others what this means so that they may do the same. We have an awareness of ourselves and we ignite the spark of self-awareness in others through the way that we respond.

Where we gain our power from is also really important. For those of us that are healers and teachers, we need to learn that if our work is fuelling our sense of happiness and is the source of our power, we will be susceptible to burnout. This happens because we’re using the ego based high of being able to help others to feed our need to be needed. This energy runs out very quickly.

This applies to all of us, not just those of us in healing professions. Your work is what you do. It isn’t who you are. Are you fuelled by what you do or who you are? Often we know the what we do bit really well but not so strong on the who we are. This is where connection comes in. This is where exploration of the pathways really supports us. To know yourself is to know your creator and therein we can begin to recognise the power that sits behind each and every one of us.

Our power is rooted in the strength of our own connection. It has nothing to do with what we can do for others. It has nothing to do with being spiritually gifted either. Power is about how we react and respond to the world around us. Power is understanding that neither praise nor criticism matter as both come from a false source. Power is something that is manifested through us and belongs to Source as we do. So we are responsible for how this is channelled. We are accountable to Source and to ourselves for the way this power is used and displayed.

This pathway is understanding that you are channelling sacred power in all that you do. There are times when we are conscious of it. There are times when we are not. The mere fact that we live and breathe proves that we are an extension of source energy. Observe how this moves through you. Observe the action and the direction that you are being led to.

“Use this pathway to help you remember that all life energy, and the means to work with it, come from the Beloved.”

We will be exploring this pathway deeper in our monthly healing circle tomorrow evening. Link and booking details below.



Ascension Energy Update 8th October 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. There are a couple of major themes that we are working with at the moment and the energies feel extremely stagnant. It isn’t non-movement per se. It’s more that there is a depth to the energies that are coming in that takes us to places that we might not want to go. It’s more that we are avoiding going there.

The Heart Chakra takes centre stage within these energies. This has certainly been one of the biggest themes in the healing room this week. Hearts are opening. Hearts are clearing. Hearts are holding. Hearts are hiding.

Alongside the depth comes the intensity of the energy. It feels as if we are having to stare down the barrel of the gun for a very long time. There’s tension in the air. There’s paralysis. There’s the need to reassure ourselves using the mask of love and light.

Beneath all of this are real vulnerabilities that are needing to come to light and the sooner we look at these, the sooner we can begin making our way through what’s being manifested as a result.

Spring is traditionally the time for a clear out but these Autumn energies are pushing the need to cleanse and heal. The deepest of deep wounds will surface and the heart wants to hold and pour out all at the same time.

We are being asked to face things and sometimes to face things we have to look them dead in the eye. It takes a while before we get to that place though but October’s energies feel like they’re taking us there.

Alongside the heart chakra cleanse, the other big theme that we’re working with is overcoming the distraction. There is a pull inwards and a need to focus on ourselves and our own direction. To do this, we have to be able to see our own light. Others may point it out, but until we see it in ourselves, we are unable to access the power that it affords us.

They say you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. Look at where you are being led and make use of what’s there so you begin to drink it all in. We can have everything in the world and we know what it’s all worth. It’s only when we begin using it that we begin extracting value from it.

This is what we are being asked to look at. What have we got? How are we using it? And can we use it in a different way so that we can really begin to take advantage of its value?

Remember everything you have has been given to you for a reason. It’s up to you to make the most of it.

Until next time,

Love Hafsa xx


On being an introvert…

I am an introvert. There. I said it. There’s a massive misconception that anyone who runs their business mainly through Social Media is extroverted so I wanted to talk openly today about some of the challenges that I personally face and how I’ve overcome them. Perhaps to also shatter the myth that strong women don’t have insecurities. We all do.

The first thing to say is that although I am outgoing, sociable, friendly and open, I find being in crowds or around a lot of people draining. It’s taken me years to master my own energy enough to keep that layer of energetic protection around me when I’m out and about. Being a sensitive soul, I pick up on energies around me and if I’m not careful, I can absorb them and carry them as my own. I’m not afraid to admit that I really love being at home and I avoid being out and about with people if I can. It’s just my preference. I can own being a bit of a loner because it suits me and I’d rather that than blame the people around me.

My first hurdle was being seen through my writing and it took me a while to get over that. I’ve had to overcome it by committing to writing every single day and producing content regardless of how I’m feeling. And even then, there’s things that I want to say that I find really difficult to convey in words. So when I write, I channel. I don’t think. I just write. I don’t edit. I just write. And now, I press publish regardless because to me that means I accept whatever I’ve created is good enough. The rest I deal with if and when it happens.

It has been a massive challenge for me to produce videos though because this makes me extremely visible. I cringe when I hear people tell me how natural I am on camera. Honestly, if you could see the build up and the procrastination, you’d understand. I have to be in the right mood and energy. I have to bang them out all in one go. I become a bit of a diva. I always worry if I’m actually being heard and this is because there have been times where I’ve made videos about pretty serious stuff and people have commented on how I look rather than what I’m saying. I think that’s something I still need to work through and although I’m starting to be a bit more consistent with it, it terrifies me. The last thing I want to be is boring and that says a lot about how I think other people will perceive me. There are a thousand and one reasons not to make videos but I’m getting to grips with the idea that my words matter and I need to share them with you. This is what I want to be doing – sharing and so everyday I have to drive that message home to myself and keep on working on my confidence.

It takes a lot to be “out there” in your chosen field. It takes putting your own fears and insecurities to one side sometimes. But we do it because somewhere deep inside is a knowing that it is the right thing to do. It’s knowing that someone out there may be helped by my words and my message. That’s what makes this job worthwhile. I’m not perfect, but I try my best. It makes me uncomfortable, but I do my best with it. It takes courage and strength and I can say I definitely have those even if I don’t always feel it. There’s a lot of ERMS and nervous laughter but that’s how I get through it.

For introverts like me, it’s a scary world out there. Being introverted and empathic brings it’s own challenges. I used to call it shyness but it’s more than that. Over the years, I’ve really had to learn to protect my own energy because it gets snapped up really quickly. I’ve had to learn to set boundaries. I’ve even had to stand up for myself with friends and family who dispute that I am an introvert. It just goes to show the assumptions people can make and the expectations put on us for how others want us to be.

I don’t have many friends and over the years there’s plenty of people who have come and gone from my life when I started putting boundaries around me. I’ve always found it difficult to say no but there comes a point when you realise that people are only friends with you because of what they can get from you. You’re a good listener. They never have to ask you how you are until the end of the conversation when it’s time for them to go. And you’re ok with that and you feel guilty if you aren’t.

It’s a tough place out there, especially when most situations make you want to cut and run for the hills. You wish people would just go away sometimes. All you want is to be in your own space, doing your own thing and you’re more than happy in your own company.

But that doesn’t mean that we shy away from life. I make myself do these things and get out and about regardless because I could quite easily be a hermit. That would suit me fine but then I wouldn’t be challenging myself to live. I wouldn’t make heartfelt connections or smile at people in the street. I wouldn’t do this work. Just as well I’m more a one to one kind of person but recently, I’ve been challenging myself to do group events. This is a massive breakthrough for me and even though it takes me a couple of days to recover, I’m committing to this because I know I’ve had so much resistance around groups.

It’s a delicate balance between being a hermit and being out there and sociable.I always know when I’ve done too much people-ing because I’ll just want to hide in my hole until I’ve got my energy back.

The thing that helps me the most to manage my hermit tendencies is to make sure that I do have a lot of time that is just for me. I also make sure that I use this time to recharge myself. Whether that’s reading a book, writing, listening to music or just dancing while I’m cleaning. I need to feel full and I know that when I feel full, I’m less likely to have to run home from places.

It isn’t always easy, is it? I just wanted to share that because there is another huge misconception that people that do this kind of work MUST have their life all sorted. I don’t have it all sorted. I am always working at it, just like everyone else.

And the thing that I work hardest at is putting myself out there despite my insecurities. That and making my boundaries known without feeling guilty. And finally, making sure I have enough for myself before I help others.

Always feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Sometimes very slowly but always working at it!


Ascension Energy Update 25th October, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for this week. I’m conscious I’ve not posted in a while but like many others, I too have been down the rabbit hole with these intense energies.

One thing I will say about this energy is expect the unexpected. This I can see on so many levels. Certainly in my own life, in politics, in the weather. The Universe is pulling us back to a place of trust. There is much chaos but we are not to be taking anything for granted.

Notice your reactions the second that the rug gets pulled from under your feet, and then notice how those reactions begin to change. It’s almost as if these lessons are coming thick and fast and are designed for you to recognise and feel gratitude.

For me, it’s certainly been the little things in life that I am grateful for this week. Things that might seem trivial to others but they mean a lot to me. Although the energies feel more settled this week and calmer, don’t be lulled in to a false sense of security.

For many of us, there is a need to go inwards. I’ve certainly felt as if the world is a bit too much for me to cope with. It’s really noisy at the moment and if you listen carefully, you can hear how the frequencies are changing. I felt a sharp pitch rise last night which has carried on through in to today. There doesn’t seem to be any let up.

As I said, I’ve been down the rabbit hole. There has been a great deal of soul searching for many and it feels as if all the old wounds are coming out to play again. This week, the healing room has seen a rise in physical issues. In particular, Sciatica. There’s only so long you can sit on your issues before they get your attention!

There does seem to be a big theme at the moment about facing your stuff. There’s always going to be experiences and memories that we bury because we know it’s going to hurt if we go there. My motto in life is that I’d rather take myself there willingly than have it imposed upon me which is one of the reasons I delve deep on a daily basis. Even so, I’ve had my fair share of surprises this week!

Life’s big questions are coming up for many at the moment. What are we here to do? Are we moving towards our goals? What is that we actually really want?

It’s time to take stock for a new chapter. It feels as if these energies of re-birth came upon us so thick and fast and we got carried away in this feeling of something amazing being just over the horizon. In truth, if that something is just around the corner, I think this week we are trying to measure how big this corner is.

It’s been difficult to maintain hope and optimism through setbacks and failures, but that underlying energy of something being just around the corner is still there when you tune in to it. It’s a relief in some ways and it’s carrying a lot of weight at the moment. We are going inwards to take some of that weight off so that we can begin to generate that hope and optimism for ourselves.

Another big theme this week has been owning our own emotions and owning what we are creating for ourselves. Understanding our self-sabotage patterns and beginning to break them is hard work that mainly comes from observation. We are seeing things in ourselves now that we perhaps didn’t see before and on some levels being harsher but on other levels allowing that tough love to do it’s work.

That “what do I really want” question comes in to play here and it matters so much. What are you worth? How much value do you place on your own dream? What are you doing for yourself?

Self-care is going to be the order of the day from now on so get used to it. It doesn’t seem to be letting up or slowing down, and I’m sure I read that there are solar storms coming in that are having a physical impact.

Hold on tight! We are entering a whole new cycle altogether. We just need to prepare ourselves to be who we came here to be.

Until next time,




Burning Away Tension and Hurt – Al-Ghaffar

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to release any restriction or constriction you feel, with regard to yourself or another, in to the heat and fire of Unity.

I wrote part one of this pathway almost exactly 2 years to the day that I did the healing transmission that takes us deeper in to it. Part one is below and this was what was written a couple of years ago and it still stands. Part 2 revisits with fresh insight.


I remember when I first got this book many years ago, and I used to open it for a pathway and more often than not, it fell open at this pathway. It’s clear that over the course of my life, this is a pathway I will always have a special connection with. I had a lot of tension and hurt that needed to be burned away

This pathway comes to me now in a whole different way and there are many lessons that arise as a result. As soon as I read the pathway, I could feel the tension and hurt all coming up, bubbling away under the surface. All very familiar feelings and I could feel the resistance straight away because I knew that once and for all, it was time to heal and lose the old wounds. There was a reason this pathway came at this moment and it was because this is what I have been working towards.

There’s a moment when you can actually see how everything has led you to where you are. There is a moment within that moment where you feel so close to turning that corner within yourself and accessing the freedom you crave. It’s liberating and terrifying all at the same time. That’s why you put a block on it and that’s what stops you from burning away the tension and hurt. You hold on with your mind and it’s hard to let go. It’s difficult seeing beyond that point. I could feel that had burning away in me for a long time.

If it was simple and straightforward, we would all be enlightened beings, but it really isn’t. Those darker feelings are there and yes it would be wonderful to get rid of them but imagine if you’ve never felt freedom and never seen real light before, that in itself can be overwhelming and painful. That’s why the spiritual journey, in my view, takes you in to the freedom and light a little at a time. It’s easier to digest that way although as humans we are fixated on “when will it all be alright?” and for me this pathway brought up a really big realisation in seeing the bigger picture. There is no end point when all is alright. All is alright RIGHT NOW. It’s just how being human and having a mind complicates everything when life really is pretty simple. Just think of when you were a baby, your needs were taken care of and you didn’t worry because you felt safe. You didn’t think then as you do now, maybe one day it’ll be ok because that day you were always ok.

Those old feelings of being unsafe bubbled up with this pathway. I felt like I was on an angry rampage for a few days but I was watching carefully at what was triggering me. It’s simple – when things are not the way I want them to be, you better get out of my way! I can joke about it, and I’m not saying I’m some kind of Diva, but the deeper hurt and tension does come from this feeling of I can’t have what I want and that comes from my conditioning and my experiences in life. It takes time to undo all of that. I am in a better place, and I am not in the past. The deepest realisation for me is seeing beyond into where these moments can lead me. This moment is perfect because everything is happening as it should, but the tension and hurt and anger is a rejection of this moment because it’s not perfect in my eyes. That’s the reason I feel tension and hurt and anger. The only way to neutralise this is love, and loving yourself when you’re raging is hard!

It’s hard to look at the anger, hurt and tension in yourself because you know that it is going to be painful and when we reject and resist that moment, it becomes even more so. To truly burn it away is to treat it with love. Love is the only way to neutralise emotions and release them. Love is total acceptance of things as they are, and yourself as you are. Unconditionally.

You can’t make something happiness and heart unless you truly feel it. You have to be looking for it in yourself to truly feel it and most of us don’t look until we come to a certain place in our lives. There are some people who just have the knack, life’s optimists, but it takes work depending on where you’ve been in your life and what you’ve experienced. At some point, we all throw the toys out of the pram because life isn’t going our way. It makes us unhappy and all because we are rejecting the here and now because it doesn’t look like how we wanted it to. The deep irony of life is that if we keep seeing it this way, life will never be what we want it to be. Right now is the perfect moment to be happy.

What is happiness anyway?

I think it’s rooted in freedom and freedom comes from being able to see what you’re doing to yourself and being able to stop it. The lesson for me which I feel cut the deepest is that I’ve been working so hard to love myself, and I’ve made some real progress with this but this pathway enabled me to notice that I can be horrible to myself still sometimes. I won’t take it if someone else treats me that way, but some of the things I catch myself saying to myself tell me that I could be a lot kinder sometimes.

As I was deep in meditation with this pathway, a realisation came to me. My mind wants to fix everything and that’s causing hurt and tension. I thought I had done away with my inner control freak, but as it turns out I haven’t fully! This is going to take some work and I can accept that is always going to be a part of me. It’s hard to undo conditioning because conditioning helps to keep you mentally and emotionally safe. It operates on a physical level though, so it stops you from taking action beyond your safety limit.

I am safe now though and so there is no need to try and fix anything. I find myself falling in love with my Creator on a whole other level as a result of this pathway and the realisation that there is something greater at work, always at work that has my best interests at heart. All I need to do is to get out of the way and stop trying to force my own interventions!

I remember when I first started meditating. I remember once doing a really long meditation and I was so determined to find the answer I was looking for. I insisted I would not get up until I knew what the answer was and I was there for about 3 – 4 hours. I searched in the silence for hours. I remember being calm and still and from nowhere a voice said, “Your job is not to know. Your job is to trust.” BOOM!! That message I know was really real because it came from nowhere. I have never forgotten it and working through this pathway, it has come up often for me. It’s a reminder. That real wisdom sits within, and I can access it if I am willing to listen.

The book talks about tension and hurt feeling like a pressure cooker and that life sometimes feels as if it is cooking you, softening you up and I feel this process. Life is so much easier if you tell yourself that everything is happening as it was meant to happen. You can’t make things go any faster or delay the pain. You are safe to go through it and go through it you must. If only we knew what was on the other side of our suffering, I reckon we would skip through it without a care!!

I feel I have ended several chapters in my life and I’m on to new beginnings now. I feel safe as a result. I know there is nothing that can harm me. I know what my mind is doing. I know where the tension and hurt are coming from. I know that feeling those feelings is softening me and bringing me back to Source. Those feelings in themselves are indicators and signals that I need to seek Source to feel at ease.

Everything is perfect. It’s how we choose to see it. Knowing it is happening perfectly takes the pressure off and makes you more accepting of things the way they are. It helps burn away the tension and hurt to bring you to a place of serenity and peace, freedom and happiness. Even if that’s simply one moment, it is enough for me to continue seeking it.

Part 2:

This time round felt like a more focused, grounded exploration of the pathway. It was humbling looking back because at the time, I thought I knew a lot more than I did and perhaps took it for granted that I’d turned a corner. I need to constantly remind myself that there are many corners in life and just because I’ve turned one, doesn’t mean there won’t be another straight after it! In the last couple of years since I first wrote on the pathway, I can say that I’ve had to go deeper in to the same wounds.

I still recognise that feeling of being so close and your mind not wanting to let go as it was something that came back as I revisited this pathway. I guess nothing is gone for good. It just changes shape and the heat and fire of Unity is part of the process by which this happens.

I did reflect on the fact that I feel safer in the world now than I have ever done before but at times I still feel the need to escape. What I thought was self-love keeps going to new and deeper levels. I hadn’t thought that far ahead, clearly!

One thing that has always come to the surface with this particular pathway is the hurt that I feel as a result of what others have done. The pathway talks about the different ways in which we handle this and I can say that I’ve done all of these things and it has kept me in a passive victim state. I noticed when I first wrote on the pathway, I didn’t go there.

The truth is people do shit on you in life. As a result, you can shut down and refuse to feel anything. You can give up and be a doormat or you can be over sensitive. I’ve done all three and I can see that quite clearly. In life, it’s inevitable and the only way through it is to actually open your heart up to it. This isn’t about what others have done to you. This is about accepting that you will feel done to but it’s for your own good that you feel this way. Our expansion comes from our interaction. Our sense of self-love develops through this feeling of being hard done by. Self-love is taking responsibility for yourself and actively stepping out of victim mode. It’s me. It’s all me and I’m doing this to myself. There. I said it. We can flit between slinging shit at others and slinging shit at ourselves but ultimately we need to just own ourselves. Let’s not be in denial about the rage but let’s use it as a creative force.

This kind of love is a challenge to cultivate in yourself because it comes from pain and hurt. It’s that pain and hurt that calls you to the One. That longing, that yearning, that cry for help – that is the burning that this pathway talks about. The rage, the fire, the anger that results in that release of energy. This is the purification of the heart so being afraid of anger will do you no good at all. It’s a necessary part of coming closer and closer to the One and purifying your own heart.

This month’s healing circle will focus on this theme. Booking link below and we would love to see you there.