Healing

I’m back…well…sort of…

I know I’ve been away a really long time and I’ve not really posted on this blog or any of my other social media platforms for a long, long time but I thought I would come back and hopefully this time come back stronger!

What can I say other than the world changed a lot in the space of a year. Priorities changed too. I’ve not really felt inspired to write for the last year or so for a number of reasons, both personal and professional.

Those of you that know me know that I tend to just let stuff go until I’m ready to come back to it and so that’s what I’ve done.

I’m trying to figure out what happened and the simple answer is that it got real. Well I got real with myself. It’s funny because writing is the one thing other that my work that I love most in the world. It’s where I feel free to just be myself and express creatively, factually, directly, honestly…all the things that make me “ME” come out in my writing.

I was literally writing for 8 hours a week to produce content for my social media. I had a structure and a discipline around it. I did courses to help me with it and I loved it but then I stopped. Mostly due to my own curiosity to see what would happen. Covid had hit and things were dead anyway so I could either push hard online to make a living or recklessly close my eyes and trust my belief that my rizq (Earnings/wealth/sustenance) come from above. So the first thing I dropped was social media.

I’m not going to lie…the amount of time I had on my hands was amazing. I was at the allotment digging instead and bloody having the time of my life. I realised that everything in this society is about consume consume consume and it’s the same with content. I got to a point where I had to convince myself that what I was putting out there had value. I’m not knocking it because everything I produce shows you what I’m about and I know there’s people that have read what I’ve written and got in touch.

The amount of pressure I put on myself to churn out content was immense and in the beginning, taking a break was such a relief. Then I started looking around and I thought what have I become. Running a business via social media means continuously putting yourself on show to the world. At the time, it was ok because it was the right thing to pursue and direct my energy in to. And then it just became a chore. There were times where I just wasn’t feeling it but “show up for your audience” was my belief so I put my all in and did it anyway.

Then it hit me. I’m showing up for this audience but I’m not being authentic. I’m not loving this bit of what I do. I can’t stand my face and cheesy grin plastered across everything for the world to see. For the sake of my business, I’d become something else in the pursuit of showing people what my work was all about…I was prepared to make myself uncomfortable and push my limits. I proved to myself that I could do that if I wanted to but I also recognised that I didn’t like that so I stopped. And it worked out just fine to be honest.

There’s a common myth that once you stop promoting yourself on social media, your business will go down the drain. On the contrary, it made me realise that my client base, the networks, the referrals and connections were genuine and solid. Unlike social media, ironically. Now I know a lot of people say that they build genuine links on these platforms. I’m not knocking that but I love human interaction. I love to feel the discomfort when someone isn’t being genuine. So much is masked online and everything is about the brand values and message.

I got fed up of putting myself in a box and so I just packed it in and it’s been over a year. I’m not sure if I’ll ever go back to it if I’m completely honest. I just don’t see a need for it personally. I’m a mystery…a private person and social media is contradiction for me. I think the way I feel about it all is quite common but I just like to say how I feel and put it out there.

It got me thinking though about this whole strange bloody world we live in where we’re so open to being moulded and shaped and will do anything to be successful. I’m not knocking that. I just think there’s better ways to do that.

So as always with me, I’m feeling a return to writing and being authentically me. You won’t find any of this on social media. This is where I’ll be because this is where my voice is the loudest and most heartfelt.

It’s been a crazy year with lots of life lessons, a great deal of change both personally and professionally and it’s time to get to grips with sharing some of that with you. There’s so much of it that I don’t know where to start if I’m honest but I’ll figure it out. You don’t know where it’s heading until you get started and so let’s see where it goes.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.