Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 15th April, 2019

This is your Ascension Energy Update for this week. It feels like the calm before the storm. I know in the previous update we talked about chaos. Following that the theme has been “letting go.” Surprise surprise!

It has been a period of change for many. It isn’t necessarily letting go that we’re working with. It feels like a deeper energy. Following the chaos, this week is sombre, quiet, moody. It feels like the calm after the storm.

The storm has happened and now we are dealing with the aftermath. It feels like there has been a massive shift but everything feels like it’s on hold. It’s almost as if we are all grieving for what we have lost through the storm.

It’s an interesting energy this one. It comes in waves and it seems to be pulling up reminders of what has gone before. It has a distinct and determined feel to it. A sense of knowing that the lesson must be learnt in order to progress forwards.

There have been two major themes in the healing room. The first is grieving for the old you. Reflecting on the lessons of the past and realising that you are just not the same anymore. The chaos has changed you for the better and a feeling of not being done with just yet.

The second major theme in the healing room has been this experience of two extreme emotions and an awareness that they can exist in the same timeline. We can be grieving for one part at the same time as looking forward to the future.

The energies are working with us to really help us to understand this idea of Unity Consciousness. Although our experiences may be extremes of one emotion or the other, we are being shown that these polar opposites can exist at the same time in the same place and realising this actually helps us to move forward. For example, experiencing amazing success at a time as grieving for a loved one about to leave. Although it may feel that one taints the other, it’s understanding that there is much to be gained from both experiences.

The calm sets in to invite you to reflect. It feels like much has been overcome and this empty space feels like a void. A big, open expansive place. We are in another holding place awaiting another big shift which I feel will follow mid May.

This is a time to take stock, stop and smell the roses.

Amidst all of this reflection, take time for gratitude. We may have lost things and people that have been dear to us but we need to focus on what we were grateful for. When we lose something, we appreciate it’s value in our life and what it taught us. Whether it is a lesson, a person, an experience, the ascension process is calling us to understand gratitude at a whole new level.

Everything will change. I smell that in the air. Now is the time to be asking yourself what is it that you want to create for yourself? What is it that you want to manifest? How can you prepare for it? What else needs to be lost so that the real you can be found?

The next few weeks will be a period of evaluation as there is certainly more shedding to be done. It feels like it’s going to be a more practical shedding though. Well, it is spring cleaning now. It’s the mental and emotional spring cleaning that is much needed at this time.

It feels like we are going to become acutely aware of the resonances of old energy that are lingering. Time to dot the I’s and cross the T’s and tend to any unfinished business by facing it head on. It may feel difficult, yet necessary for you to move on in peace.

Challenges do lie ahead but enjoy this rest period while it lasts! Mercury is out the shadow phase from the 16th and that creates some more freedom of movement with your emotions. Don’t be surprised though if it feels like nothing is happening. Just keep plodding away with the inner work as there’s plenty happening upstairs that you’re probably not seeing. The inner work will pay off though.

And to manifest, you have to start as you mean to go on. Begin by taking action, even if it’s one thing that you change. Whether that’s a 10 minute meditation or some fresh air every day. The Universe needs to see you start to live like you believe it!

It is a great time for manifesting though so get on it! Make that vision board and lose the expectation of how you think it will be delivered. There’s a plan greater than yours. Be open to it!

Until next time…stay in your own vibe!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 4th April 2019

This is your Ascension energy update for the week and what a week it has been. In fact, it’s been a couple of weeks since I last did an update and that’s because I’m going through my own upgrading process at the moment and trying to keep up with everything has been a bit of a challenge!

I daren’t speak too soon but I do feel like we have all made a massive leap over the last couple of weeks. It’s not a noticeable leap, but that heavy energy has shifted. Some of us may still be working our way through it but bear with because it’ll lift.

There has been a big shift and the most noticeable thing is that it isn’t what we thought it would be. We have these ideas about what moving from one dimension to the other will feel like. The surprise element is that it still feels like being human!

Yes we are evolving through this Ascension process. In the third dimension, life is about just life and nothing beyond. The 4th and fifth dimensions teach us that there is more to life than what we see. We will always hold the perception that as we ascend up through the dimensions, by some miracle we will no longer have the human experience or that we will be bothered by nothing. The irony is that the very idea is your human speaking.

We are always back and forth between the different dimensions because the bulk of the healing takes place here and now in the 3D world. This is where you have the experiences. This is the playground, the simulation and as you learn your lessons, you get deeper in to the other dimensions but still, you experience them in this reality, in this physical realm.

It feels like we have been in the treacle like thickness of chaos over the last couple of weeks. One of things that we are learning about is our capacity to hold the energies. Learning to hold your own energy is essential because it allows you to do more and more and deliver your purpose.

The chaos has felt overwhelming but it seems that we are beginning to find our own rhythm with it all. For a lot of people, it’s pulled them towards healing or meditation and the theme seems to be very much around self-healing.

One of the big things that chaos teaches us is that we need to be responsible for ourselves. I’ve seen this massively in the healing room this week. What can I do to own my choices? How can I be at peace with this much responsibility? How can I trust my own decisions. I’ll be exploring all these in the videos that I’ll be doing over the coming weeks.

We all seem to feeling that deeper pull of what we love. Resistance seems to be another big theme. There is still much to be discovered in the shadows. What’s interesting is that this idea of love and light, rainbows and unicorns fast loses it’s appeal when we start getting real. It seems that the Universe is showing us how to get real by hitting us in the face with what life is throwing at us.

For myself and for many of my clients, the last couple of weeks have been about getting real. Not just getting real and facing the deep dark truths that we want to run from. The reality of where we are at right now, regardless of whether that’s our ideal situation or not. We see a glimmer of possibility shining on the horizon as we move through this big shift, but all that glitters comes with some life lessons and don’t we know it.

It feels like a pushy energy but in fact it is pulling us more towards what we want and giving us situations that show us the contrast. It feels like make or break time.

The future is in your hands. You just need to decide what it is and go after that on the understanding that it may not look like what you expected!

I feel April will bring many happy surprises though! A playful energy is in the air and this brings with it a need for joy. We create this through surrendering the resistance, through being truly grateful for what we have and most importantly, not taking it all too seriously.

The heaviness is passing…like a kidney stone…but it really is shifting. The dawn of a new era awaits and it’s full of exciting possibilities. Isn’t that what spring is all about?!

I’m off to leap in the meadows…proverbially of course!

If you need help releasing your resistance, please give me a shout!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 12th March, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for this week. I sort of get the feeling you get when you’ve stepped off the rollercoaster and you don’t know whether you’re coming or going. All you know is that you’ve had a massive rush of blood to the head and you’re still spinning!

It’s been a strange few weeks, almost surreal for a lot of us. The energies have been ramping up for the last month or so and it feels like change is on the horizon. For many of us, 2018 was a chaotic year full of life lessons. 2019 feels a lot calmer and time has slowed down significantly.

Collectively, I feel that reflection is a theme in all senses of the word. We’re looking back and looking forward simultaneously. We’re also really starting to open up in terms of what is being reflected back at us. There may be more lessons for some of us and for others, there may be pure gold that dazzles and blinds us. I feel it’s back and forth between the past and future dimensions quite rapidly to navigate these energies.

It’s difficult to keep up when you’re working deeply with your past but at the same time looking forward to your future. We are always creating from this present moment and it feels like we are learning something quite unique at the moment.

Just as when you learn to drive, you have to multitask – the energy feels a bit like that. It’s overwhelming at first but when you realise that this is how it’s going to be from now on, you begin to start working with it.

In the beginning it takes a lot to shift your attention from one thing to the other and back again but trust this process because it really does feel like it’s going to be fruitful.

It’s a lot to work and deal with and we are all learning to get to grips with this new dimension. I say that because it really is a new dimension that we are entering.

One of the biggest themes, and this is one that I feel is going to be coming up quite a lot, is identity. How we currently define ourselves, how we want to define ourselves and how the past has defined us. We are in a position of choice which can feel pretty overwhelming. That combined with this constant flipping motion between dimensions and at the same time getting to grips with reality can make you feel a bit nauseous. I take you back to the rollercoaster analogy that we started with.

As we work towards this “who we are” and grapple with the constant moving parts, we feel uncertainty looming. It’s important to get to grips with this because it is a given. It’s not as easy as it sounds so if you need help with this, give me a shout.

Many of us have faced a total breakdown of identity. Many of us are holding on for dear life because we don’t know what’s replacing it. I think 2018 was teaching us about letting go and we go deeper in to this lesson now. For many of us, the experiences of 2018 are proving to be a training ground for this new dimension that we are entering.

We find ourselves remembering and forgetting those lessons in order to go deeper in to them. We also find ourselves fighting to keep what we hold dearly and lose what doesn’t serve us. We continue to do the inner work but there’s a sense of outcome being quite a distance away, almost as if we’re not meant to see what it is yet because seeing it will just be a spoiler.

Trust, faith and hope. Of these three, the dominant feeling is one of being hopeful which is a far cry from previous months when we were in the thick of it.

A sparkly new you starts to emerge. One that you may not even recognise as you step off that rollercoaster in your own time and get your breath back. Now is the time to rethink and revisualise. The hardest thing will be accepting a total 360 in direction for some of us and for others, a need to disrupt the flow in order to influence this change.

One thing I can say is that it is a very exciting time. The energies are thick and dense so even though there is excitement, there is also much work to be done. It feels like being on the red eye, drifting in and out of sleep and waking up to find a blanket of snow and silence all around at your target destination.

Don’t feel lost just keep on going. It will all make sense soon.

Until next time…

Hafsa

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 28th February, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s the last day of February and I don’t know about you but time seems to have been going really slowly. Christmas feels like it was years ago and the year seems to be going at a really slow pace.

One thing that is emerging is the level of clearing for all of us is reaching a depth we never even knew we had in us. There is a lot going on around the Heart Chakra and we seem to be revisiting the themes around “letting go” of things that don’t serve us. Have a look at this previous post around the Heart Chakra that might help. Click here to access.

The intensity of February’s energies is being felt by all. If you’ve been tuned in to what’s happening with the Schumann Resonance, you’ll know that the Earth’s frequency has been extremely high since mid February. Take a look by clicking this link.

Restlessness, sleeplessness, fatigue and upheaval all coming up as a result of the fluctuations in energy. It seems to be settling but worth just keeping an eye on. I think of it like this. This is the electromagnetic frequency of the Earth so it works with energy. If you think about your emotions as energy, then what’s happening is that this increase in electromagnetic energy is pulling the dense energy up to the surface to be cleared. This is why we feel out of sorts during these periods of high energy. It’s not the only reason, but it does have an impact.

What does all this mean? Well we’re all connected to each other and we’re all connected to this frequency. Whether you’re “awake” or not, you’ll feel it in some way, shape or form. For those that are new to the path, these feeling of being unsettled usually send them in search of an answer and it leads them to self-discovery and spirituality. For those that are already on this path, it unearths deeper layers. As more people wake up on the planet, the frequency or vibration rises. As more people work to raise their own vibration (through meditation, prayer, law of attraction etc) the higher the collective vibration.

There is no doubt that something is happening. It feels like the Earth is rumbling and calling in what it needs. We can see the world is changing. Politically, economically, socially, environmentally it feels like changes are afoot.

While this happens on a collective level, you’ll notice changes within you on an individual level. In your own life, this sort of energy brings with it changes. You know once you start seeing things a different way, you can’t go back to how it was. That’s the feeling that’s working it’s way through. It feels like change has been on the horizon for a long time but now feels like the right time to make that shift for good.

Another theme in the healing room and on a personal level has been this idea of a wake up call. This almost make or break moment that people are experiencing. It’s now or never. Although sometimes that can feel like a pushy energy, it feels like we are consciously making decisions that will benefit ourselves.

Everything we do on an individual level has an impact on the collective energy so never underestimate how important your part is. I was in London over the weekend talking to a friend as we walked through the city. I looked up and saw buildings either side and then blue sky. When you look up at the sky, you’re not even a dot in comparison. Then you think about our planet, and that’s not a dot in comparison to the Universe. She helped me to see it the other way round and used the example of an ant in your garden. It’s energy is needed and it has it’s purpose. Without that ant, it’s whole ecosystem would be completely different. When you think about it like that, you put things in to perspective and recognise that without that dot, the whole universe would look completely different. You can disappear in to insignificance and merge in to the world around you, but it’s you that makes it what it is. Without you, it would be completely different. The people around you would be completely different.

What we do for ourselves is key. I think sometimes as Lightworkers we feel that we are carrying a collective burden but it’s not necessary. You are connected and your vibration impacts the collective vibration. This is why with so many people waking up and exploring spirituality, we feel collectively a feeling of hope, rebirth and renewal.

It takes time for these things to integrate and work themselves through our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual parts. This is why we keep working on ourselves. The more we strengthen ourselves spiritually, the more we strengthen the collective energy body of the planet. That meditation you do in the morning, that yoga session, that prayer, that Reiki healing, that journalling, that grounding – all those things you are doing for yourself are having a knock on ripple effect in strengthening the core energy body of this planet and Mother Earth is saying thank you because it’s much needed.

We are all in this together. Let’s not forget that. We have our own journey and sharing that is what provides hope for others. Lifting ourselves inspires others to lift themselves.

YOU matter and your vibration matters. Anything you can do to help yourself is inadvertently helping to raise the vibration of this planet. None of us are insignificant. We all have something to give and we are powerful as individuals and even more powerful as a collective.

Do for yourself. Do for others. I think that’s the message this week. If you need help with any of the themes covered in this update, please get in touch.

Until next time, keep vibing high!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 17 – Al-Matin – Step by Step Persistence

There’s some pathways you come across where you know that there’s a life lesson involved and there’s pathways that show you just how far you’ve come. This was a bit of both for me.

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to connect with the sacred qualities of practicality and deliberation, of small steps taken over a long period of time.”

I know there’s been a massive gap between the last pathway and this one and that’s because there has been a lot of learning and integration that has taken place in the time in between.

In the last pathway I talked a lot about shadow work and learning to take responsibility for the parts of yourself that are difficult to own. I feel that this pathway has taken me in a lot deeper and shown me how shadows work on a whole new level.

The pathway talks about step by step persistence. It says, “Love also demands this type of persistence, especially when a relationship has begun to mature beyond attraction, in to something deeper.”

This is what I’ve been exploring on a number of levels within myself since I last posted on my journey with the pathways. Self-love is something that I’ve been learning to cultivate for a long time and one of the biggest realisations was just how much deeper I needed to go with this.

I feel like my relationship with myself and also with my work has reached that level of maturity that the pathway talks about. I relate it to my own journey. When I first discovered energy healing, it led me to create an idea of who I wanted to be and the work I wanted to do. As I travelled on this path, I started becoming that woman I always saw myself to be and doing the work I wanted to do. I saw myself making the difference I wanted to make and I am achieving that.

I look upon that now as the honeymoon period when I started to fall in love with myself, or at least this idea of who I wanted to be. I put all my effort and energy in to pursuing this dream. I worked hard to become that person and find what needed to be healed.

As my relationship with myself and the love I have cultivated for myself and my work starts to mature and deepen, I find that there are challenges and it doesn’t get easier. The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we are challenged to love our imperfections. The more we are challenged, the deeper in to ourselves it takes us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been paying attention to what’s happening in my life. I’m observing what I’m doing and saying. I’m observing what other people are doing and saying and I am learning a great deal. To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.

I find I’m not the woman I fell in love with. I’m not willing to be defined that way or any way but I’m finding I love myself anyway. Who I am, just like any long term relationship, has morphed and changed. It just is what it is and doesn’t need defining anymore. When that happens, that relationship really doesn’t look like what you thought it would. When you get to this place, you realise that kind of love takes strength. It takes persistence and courage. It takes a conscious decision that even though it isn’t what you thought it would be, you’re choosing to love it anyway.

My path over the last few weeks has been a rollercoaster on a personal and emotional level. I’ve had some really tough challenges and I’ve had to really make a decision about how I feel about myself and what I’m going to do for myself out of love for myself. It’s meant shutting down for a while. It’s meant standing my ground. It’s meant not allowing anyone else’s opinion to cloud how I feel. It’s meant reaching in for my own truth. It’s meant expressing, sharing and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

The detail of what I’m facing is irrelevant but suffice to say that there will always be people who try to bring you down. Some with their words and some with their actions. I say this because with the last pathway we talked about being responsible for ourselves and our projections. I’m also learning to discern my own truth and that means that rather than own everything, I’m recognising that people play out their own pain by throwing it at other people. This is what I mean when I say “To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.” I’m not willing to own someone else’s pain. I bless their journey but I know what’s mine and what’s not.

If you allow anything to cause doubt within yourself, you lose. When you love another, you trust them with your whole heart and you don’t doubt if they are true. When you love yourself, you must see it exactly the same way. I’ve learnt this and it’s unearthed a massive strength in me.

Persistence means that you have to fight for yourself. As an empath, I’m great at fighting for others but maybe not so good at fighting for myself. One of things that this pathway has shown me is just how much I love myself and love my work. When push comes to shove, if my ability to do my work is threatened, I will fight to the death and I will win. Nothing is going to bring me down and each time it tries to take me down, I come back a hell of a lot stronger. That’s because I know what I bring to this world is important. I’m fighting for me but I’m also fighting for all of those people who benefit from what I do.

I think the most beautiful thing that’s come alive for me is this fire that I know I’ve always had in me. I think as you reach in to spirituality, you almost believe that you need to put that fire out for the sake of love and light. That fire is courage in adversity. That fire is fighting for what you believe in. That fire is a relentless amount of self-assuredness. That fire must never be diluted, especially for those that are making a difference in this world.

None of this comes without persistence. None of this comes without a fight. None of this comes without being challenged. For me, I didn’t realise it but this is what I’ve been building step by step. I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything leads you to the moment where you’re at right now. Perhaps you need to be challenged for you to find your strength? Perhaps you need the darkness to come at you for you to overcome it?

I believe that this is all the alchemy of the Universe at work. Every action is a small step towards something greater. I sometimes forget there’s a bigger picture and get bogged down in the detail of it all but I’m human. It sometimes takes adversity to show you just how far you have travelled.

I take great strength from this pathway. It’s a long journey full of twists and turns, full of challenges but look how beautiful it can be. It’s designed to help you find yourself and if you can see that, you’ll keep at it.

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 4th February, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. Hasn’t it been an interesting few weeks? We’re working with a couple of major themes and so I thought it was good timing to write an update today.

Revisiting the Past

The first major theme I want to cover is this idea of revisiting the past, or rather as it has been over the last few weeks is the past coming to visit you. For many of us, some ugly things have raised their heads from as far back as 2017. However, what we’re finding is that rather than it toppling us in the same way that it did before, it all seems to be showing us how much we have grown. This is all positive in my view. What you’ll notice when you’ve been working on yourself is that your responses begin to change. There is more of a sense of “I’ve got this” or “The Universe has got my back.”

It goes deeper than just growth though. This is all part of cultivating faith and trust in what’s meant to be, which leads me nicely on the the next theme.

Letting go

One theme that we will always be working with is this idea of letting go. Certainly in the healing room and for me on a personal level, it has been about exploring the mindset that keeps us locked in. Once we realise that it’s our thinking that keeps us in the same place, we can consciously move from that place to the next level.

One of things that helps is to become aware of the stories that we tell ourselves. For me, it’s going over old journals and things that I’ve written and that really helps me to see the story that I am telling myself. It isn’t just the story on it’s own though. It’s about what that story says about you and asking yourself if that’s who you want to be. This is challenging because if the answer is no, it means you’re going to have to do the work to change it!

This is when we start to let go of the ideas that we’ve been locked in to. Old you has been trying to keep pushing itself back in, but I find that baby steps are the best way to easing your way to carving a new place for yourself.

Advice going forward

The thing that works best for me when I’m transitioning in to a new version of myself is to take one day at a time. Watch for signs of old you because they’ll creep back in. The way that self-sabotage works is through the thought process and it’s challenging to keep on with things. This is something that I’m working with and the way through it is to ask yourself “What happens if I keep going with this?”

There will always be a pang of fear, but keep going nonetheless because fear can’t kill you. It can harm you and cause you to do things to your detriment, but even those things you learn from.

You’ve just got to keep on keeping on. Healing is there to help you so if you find you’ve hit a stumbling block and can’t move past a certain phase in your journey, please get in touch. I love helping people progress so hit me up!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 30th November 2018

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s been a little messy since the full moon, hasn’t it?!

Many of us are finding that the lessons are coming in thick and fast and with Mercury has been in retrograde since November 16th. It goes direct around the time of the new moon on the 7th December and there’s refreshing changes on the way. Well that’s the least we can hope for.

Expect between now and then to be messy. There is much coming up to heal and one of the things that will really hit you is that one same lesson that you’ve still not learnt. I know I’m feeling it in many areas of my life at the moment and it really is time to gather your wits about you!

The best way to handle it is to take that time out for yourself. Reflect. I mean really reflect and ask yourself what are the things that you keep experiencing time and time again. There’s your big clue. Whether it’s feeling hard done by or whether it’s a feeling of stop/start – just take time to sit with it.

The next step is to ask yourself, “What am I doing that’s keeping it the same?” Therein lie a lot of the answers.

Remember there are some things that are programmed in as subconscious patterns and so they’re not that easy to shift on your own. If you want to give me a call, I’d be happy to help you with this.

Think about what you want to do differently. I can’t remember who it was that said that it’s an act of madness to do the same thing again and again and expect a different result. It might have been Einstein but he was right.

It is really heavy right now but it’s all about getting us to take a real good look at where we have come from and how we want to change. Mars, the planet of action, is also on the move so this will make it easier.

I would say take some time to reflect. Sometimes we can want change so badly but the actions that we are taking really aren’t in alignment with what we want to achieve. It’s time to work it all out so that when you do take action, it’s with intention and is fruitful for you.

I know my own personal way of doing things is haphazard and so sitting down and working things out is something I’m not used to doing. I kind of follow my heart on a whim and a prayer and structure and discipline are completely alien concepts to me. This wave of ascension energy has really forced me to slow down, take stock and plan.

My challenge now is trying to stick to the plan!

One thing I do know is that this year has been start/stop energy for many of us. It has brought up so much for us to heal and I know that many of you are going through a messy time right now.

I’ve been doing my own Emotion Code sessions to help me shift out of these old patterns because I know it isn’t me that doesn’t want to take action – it’s my subconscious hindering me. As a result, I’m noticing the changes in myself on a massive scale. I think those of you who have been following my social media have also noticed how much I’m changing.

It’s important that we tune in and believe that we are not hopeless in our endeavours. Healing is here to help you. If you’d like to have a chat, please get in touch. A consultation call is completely free.

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Healing, Inspiration

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it. Lately, I’ve been working to try and reach more people and that’s because I know I can really make a difference. I know there’s more to do and I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this so I thought I’d share my thinking on this with you.

So I know that I have a real impact on people’s lives. I know that healing has helped make massive leaps for people’s careers. I’ve helped people come back from absolute rock bottom. I know that there’s some clients who literally trust me with their lives. I know that I’ve helped people avoid being on prescription drugs and even helped some people to come off them. I know I’ve helped people become confident and assertive. I know I’ve helped people overcome their fears of intimacy. I know I’ve helped people make sense of their spiritual journey and taught them how to work on themselves. I’ve seen people grow and blossom in front of my eyes. I’ve helped people to take charge of their own destiny and given them the perspective that’s helped them to believe that everything is possible.

The list is endless and you’d think that this would be enough evidence for me to believe in myself, right? Well, I’m going to be really honest here and say that I’ve only just started to understand the difference I make to people’s lives and I’m still battling with this. Empaths start on a much lower self-worth level to others in my opinion and it takes a lot to climb to that place where you truly believe in your gifts.

I had a lovely client come in the other day and something he said will stick with me forever. He said, “You can say that your work is rewarding and real satisfaction and that you make a real difference. People will remember you for what you did for them.” I tried to stay cool, but inside my heart dropped a little because I’d not taken that perspective. I usually just bumble along, shrug off the praise and get on with the job. I hadn’t really been listening or taking on board the nice things that people have said because perhaps I didn’t feel that I truly deserved it. I always focus on what else there is left to do and this made me stop and take stock and really appreciate what I have.

I know that when people tell me how much I’ve helped them with the sessions we’ve had together, I still have a hard time accepting the praise. It’s like I still can’t quite believe that I’m doing this.

It takes an awful lot to step up and accept all of who you are. I’m finding this as I battle my way through it. I talk a lot about working with the shadow aspects, but this is like another form of shadow that we also need to work with. Being able to see and accept what you’re putting in to world and the positives it brings is a beautiful thing. What happens is that we think of this as Ego and retreat in to being humble. I know this is what I’ve been doing and actually as a result, I’m not getting what I truly deserve because I don’t truly believe I deserve it.

This is one of the things that I’m trying to set about changing in myself because it’s part of my self-sabotage pattern and I know I’m fed up of living that pattern. In my bones, I feel that it’s time to step up and really be visible about the work that I do. I’m building my confidence. I’m getting better at accepting praise and I’m really listening and allowing the evidence to show me that this journey is well worth the graft. Look at what I can do – it’s magical but in the daily grind, the magic gets lost and forgotten. I want to be the person that still believes in the magic!

It can be overwhelming, but I’m learning that actually praise and kind words are how people are showing love and appreciation. I have to keep my heart open to this love. It doesn’t mean it’s going to my head and it doesn’t make me any less humble. It’s quite a difficult and new concept to me to be able to celebrate the good things that I have put in to the world and be proud of what I have achieved. It’s actually quite scary!

I’m conscious not to take anything for granted because I know where I came from. At the same time, I understand that if I am overwhelmed by it, I’m not in complete acceptance of it. It’s an interesting dilemma because the Ego is shouting “Be humble!” and at the same time you’re at the point where you can’t deny the evidence that’s put before you.

The trick is to define your own sense of identity because there is strength in having that sense of self. The Ego is the false identity and when it screams “Be humble!” at you, it is one of the ways in which it is holding you back and keeping you in the limitations that you’ve been taught.

I never really recognised this fully before now and working with it has been really challenging. I can say in my own mind I believe I make a difference and I’m starting to accept the evidence as real. Remember how deep set the ego ideas and beliefs are.

Defining your own sense of self takes time. I’ve been on this journey a while and I’m still finding false selves and as each mask falls away, it enables me to become more authentic, more real and more confident in my own definition of who I am.

I don’t want to be what I’m taught I have to be in this world. I don’t want to have limitations and restrictions placed on me.

I want to be able to share and celebrate the fullness of who I am. I want to believe that I can attract what I deserve. I want to believe that I truly deserve it.

If any of this resonates and you’re on the path trying to find ways to become who you came here to be, please get in touch with me. I love working with opening hearts and minds to all the possibilities!

 

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 16 – Flexible Strength

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a flexible strength that can adapt to any situation and yet remain rooted in, and moving toward, the purpose of your life.”

This pathway came at just the right time for me to integrate many of the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I’ve talked before about distraction and how sometimes being an empath can mean that you get absorbed and pulled in to everyone else’s stuff. We can feel resentful because our full focus is not on our own mission.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been consciously looking at how I get pulled away and distracted and I’ve made a lot of changes. The first thing that I want to say is thank you to all the true friends that have understood that I’ve needed me and my work to come first. It’s appreciated more than you know.

One of aspects of this pathway is developing strength from the way that we look at the past. For those of you that know me, you’ll know I do a lot of work with the shadow aspect. The shadow is all about looking at all the things that you’re not so comfortable with and I feel that it’s a way of breaking down the ego.

The pathway talks about forgetting the past and just keeping going. I find this really interesting and I don’t take that literally. I think there is much to be gained by understanding that you can’t just put your past in a box and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Part of shadow work is to revisit some of the more uncomfortable parts and to work through them and with them in a way that allows us to learn more about who we are. This process helps us to accept parts of ourselves that we may have disowned because of shame or anger at the way we behaved. Learning love and compassion for yourself means that you have to go in and be able to accept all of this to be whole.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t care to name and shame because it is deeply troubling. These parts usually are distinguished as the judgements we make about others. It’s hard to accept that that’s ourselves being reflected back at us. I know when I first started working with my shadow aspects, it sent me in to deep despair and it was so easy to let those things bring me down. That was because I didn’t fully own them and I hadn’t healed from them and so they still had a lot of power of me as a person.

It is easy when we face adversity to act out old shadows. Sometimes it is that inner child surfacing and being able to face yourself takes courage. It means being able to feel pain, shame, anger, fear and know that it has a place within you along with everything else. The spiritual journey isn’t all love and light and rainbows and unicorns! There are times when it is deeply uncomfortable getting to the truth. And the truth isn’t always fashionable enough to wear so we wear a mask instead. All of this starts to become apparent as you work with the shadow. It takes courage and being human, sometimes my courage fails but I think even approaching your shadow is a good start.

I do this because I want to be authentically myself. Sometimes authenticity can get lost in politeness and people pleasing. You’ll notice how that feels in yourself and I know that I don’t like it. I don’t like letting people down but when it’s a choice between that and letting myself down, I’ve learnt that it’s not always easy to choose me. It’s something that will take time to master and there’s a lot to work through.

There is darkness within all of us but part of our inner work is to face it and begin the alchemical process of transmuting it and learning to shine light on it so that it becomes something more than just a painful memory. From this process, we develop the flexible strength that this pathway is teaching us about. A person is more than the sum of their parts. When we identify all the parts, we become that something more. This is what I’m talking about. It isn’t the easiest thing to name those parts and become that something more.

When you know yourself, you are truly resilient in the face of adversity. When you are reluctant to face all aspects of yourself, you’re likely to be triggered. I think it always goes, “Trigger first, lesson later!” We need time to ponder and reflect and life is amazing in the way that it presents the lessons to us on a plate. Each trigger is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes it starts with a bitch and a vent, but as you work through it, you realise that you need to own that judgement that you’ve made because it’s showing you who you are. When you’re at peace with it, you’ll experience it without being triggered. This is true strength.

There’s “who we like to think we are” versus “who we actually are” and the ego likes to hold on to it’s ideas about our identity and how we define ourselves. We have deeply set ideas, some so deep set that we’ve yet to see them.

There’s always more to do in breaking down the ego and it can sometimes feel like you’re treading water and that you’ll never be free of it. Even that is an acceptance in itself. You are in the actual process when you acknowledge it and try to make peace with it. It always feels better to me to acknowledge that I am on my way to something. It’s the process that’s more important than the outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we realise that it’s too big. When we focus on the process, we see that we’re taking steps towards something. A step in the direction you’re choosing feels better than perfection.

It’s always interesting to say the least working with the shadow aspect. We start to discover just how many lies we have told ourselves – more than we care to admit. It’s a level of honesty that you can’t really be ready for when it hits you. It makes sense to do it though because you arrive at a truer version of yourself than the one you are now. Constantly moving and evolving to get to the truth of who you are is meaningful work and it grows you.

And once you start on the quest for truth, you can’t stop!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Being an “Old Soul”

Pathway 15 – Al-Muqaddim – Preparing the way

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to acknowledge the part of your being that feels “oldest,” and prepare the way for power to flow through your life.”

So this is the pathway that I have been exploring and it started with a healing transmission that I did at the beginning of November which started a profound shift for me in terms of accessing the oldest parts of my being.

Power is an interesting concept, particularly for me. Since I began on this journey, everything has been about stepping in to my power and continuously I’m finding newer ways to do this. I had some funny ideas about power when I first started on this journey, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to see it as a positive force in my life.

The pathway really is about delving in to who we are. Our souls were created long before our bodies were and so that part of us has lived and acquired a great deal of wisdom.

One of the things I noticed as soon as I started work with this pathway was the number of references made in relation to me being an “old soul.” The first time I heard that phrase I must have been about 17 and I’d sneaked away to London for the day. I went to Camden Market and was mooching around. I met this guy who looked like an old sage and he was full of love and life. I can still see his face. We ended up chatting for a long while. He caught sight of the palm of my hand and asked if he could have a look. I felt a bit hesitant but I agreed. He told me I was a very old soul but it wouldn’t be later in life until I realised what that meant. I’d completely forgotten about this experience and now that I’m writing about it, it brings it all back for me.

The story came back to me because I’ve only just realised that what he set in motion has resulted in this here today and I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. In this work, I am fortunate enough to be deliberately and consciously setting in motion change for those I work with.

It made me look at how I work with people and what I’m able to access. The pathway drew me to connect even deeper within myself. We spend life trying to define who we are in this world when really who we are sits within our soul. Once we start connecting to that deeper sense, everything in life starts to move around us for us to be able to fully understand and return to that original soul self.

The pathway is about returning back to our original image and this journey here in this world is what creates the means for us to do this. Life teaches us the nature of who we really are on one level. I’m talking about going beyond that. I’m talking about being from a place that you can’t access in a physical way.

For those of you who have read previous blogs, you’ll know that I talk about “going home” and by that I mean that place where we came from that’s before this world or any other world. It always seemed separate from me until I started to understand how to channel it in this world. I have more of a sense of belonging now that I ever have.

The adventure with this pathway was to learn how to go deeper within and I have found that connecting with this idea that I have been this energy for much longer than the 39 years here on earth has had a profound shift in my energy. I understand power on a much deeper level and it really is having an impact on the way I’m choosing to live.

The whole world looks different to me as a result. I’ve always been seeking to find my place here on Earth and each time I find it, I find new levels of understanding it. It’s not possible, I don’t think, to understand your place here unless you also understand where your soul has been.

I’m blessed to be an old soul and it really is becoming a distinct part of who I am. It gives me a uniqueness as a person. It has also made me curious enough to delve deeper. All of this enquiry is for a reason – this I know for certain. Synchronistically with this pathway, I’ve discovered aspects of my ancestry that have helped me to understand my spiritual gifts on a much deeper level. When healing is literally in your blood, you have no choice but to accept that’s who you are. It’s beautiful and it’s taken my sense of belonging to another level which is great for me and for the world!

I think the most amazing aspect of this pathway though is allowing yourself to open up and letting the power of YOU flow through. The more you access this part of yourself, the more you are preparing the way for what’s to come next. One of the beautiful things about this pathway is that it opens you up to wonder. I always talk about potential and fulfilling that potential but this is on a whole other level. It’s like you’ve got back up and support and everything you need. It’s like you are that potential in every moment.

With this pathway being so profound and deep, I’m actually having a challenging time in articulating how it’s making me feel. Suffice to say though that like all the other ways, it is changing me for the better. The closest phrase to describe how I feel is that “I am really coming into my own.” That sort of captures it.

The feelings you get when you’re accessing this are out of this world. Phenomenal. I wish I could tell you how or what to do to get there because everyone needs to feel this. I’m still integrating and working that out but when I have that in a practical form, I will share it. There is a sense of pride that comes from knowing yourself in this way. It isn’t an ego thing, simply a sense of contentment and being sure about who you are. This may not make much sense but if you know, you know.

There is a whole other world and worlds within worlds to discover. Such is the beauty of connecting to yourself, your power, your lineage, your ancestry, and the source of all that power.

“This is love.

To fly toward a secret sky,

to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.

First to let go of life.

Finally, to take a step without feet.”

Rumi