Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 28th February, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s the last day of February and I don’t know about you but time seems to have been going really slowly. Christmas feels like it was years ago and the year seems to be going at a really slow pace.

One thing that is emerging is the level of clearing for all of us is reaching a depth we never even knew we had in us. There is a lot going on around the Heart Chakra and we seem to be revisiting the themes around “letting go” of things that don’t serve us. Have a look at this previous post around the Heart Chakra that might help. Click here to access.

The intensity of February’s energies is being felt by all. If you’ve been tuned in to what’s happening with the Schumann Resonance, you’ll know that the Earth’s frequency has been extremely high since mid February. Take a look by clicking this link.

Restlessness, sleeplessness, fatigue and upheaval all coming up as a result of the fluctuations in energy. It seems to be settling but worth just keeping an eye on. I think of it like this. This is the electromagnetic frequency of the Earth so it works with energy. If you think about your emotions as energy, then what’s happening is that this increase in electromagnetic energy is pulling the dense energy up to the surface to be cleared. This is why we feel out of sorts during these periods of high energy. It’s not the only reason, but it does have an impact.

What does all this mean? Well we’re all connected to each other and we’re all connected to this frequency. Whether you’re “awake” or not, you’ll feel it in some way, shape or form. For those that are new to the path, these feeling of being unsettled usually send them in search of an answer and it leads them to self-discovery and spirituality. For those that are already on this path, it unearths deeper layers. As more people wake up on the planet, the frequency or vibration rises. As more people work to raise their own vibration (through meditation, prayer, law of attraction etc) the higher the collective vibration.

There is no doubt that something is happening. It feels like the Earth is rumbling and calling in what it needs. We can see the world is changing. Politically, economically, socially, environmentally it feels like changes are afoot.

While this happens on a collective level, you’ll notice changes within you on an individual level. In your own life, this sort of energy brings with it changes. You know once you start seeing things a different way, you can’t go back to how it was. That’s the feeling that’s working it’s way through. It feels like change has been on the horizon for a long time but now feels like the right time to make that shift for good.

Another theme in the healing room and on a personal level has been this idea of a wake up call. This almost make or break moment that people are experiencing. It’s now or never. Although sometimes that can feel like a pushy energy, it feels like we are consciously making decisions that will benefit ourselves.

Everything we do on an individual level has an impact on the collective energy so never underestimate how important your part is. I was in London over the weekend talking to a friend as we walked through the city. I looked up and saw buildings either side and then blue sky. When you look up at the sky, you’re not even a dot in comparison. Then you think about our planet, and that’s not a dot in comparison to the Universe. She helped me to see it the other way round and used the example of an ant in your garden. It’s energy is needed and it has it’s purpose. Without that ant, it’s whole ecosystem would be completely different. When you think about it like that, you put things in to perspective and recognise that without that dot, the whole universe would look completely different. You can disappear in to insignificance and merge in to the world around you, but it’s you that makes it what it is. Without you, it would be completely different. The people around you would be completely different.

What we do for ourselves is key. I think sometimes as Lightworkers we feel that we are carrying a collective burden but it’s not necessary. You are connected and your vibration impacts the collective vibration. This is why with so many people waking up and exploring spirituality, we feel collectively a feeling of hope, rebirth and renewal.

It takes time for these things to integrate and work themselves through our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual parts. This is why we keep working on ourselves. The more we strengthen ourselves spiritually, the more we strengthen the collective energy body of the planet. That meditation you do in the morning, that yoga session, that prayer, that Reiki healing, that journalling, that grounding – all those things you are doing for yourself are having a knock on ripple effect in strengthening the core energy body of this planet and Mother Earth is saying thank you because it’s much needed.

We are all in this together. Let’s not forget that. We have our own journey and sharing that is what provides hope for others. Lifting ourselves inspires others to lift themselves.

YOU matter and your vibration matters. Anything you can do to help yourself is inadvertently helping to raise the vibration of this planet. None of us are insignificant. We all have something to give and we are powerful as individuals and even more powerful as a collective.

Do for yourself. Do for others. I think that’s the message this week. If you need help with any of the themes covered in this update, please get in touch.

Until next time, keep vibing high!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 17 – Al-Matin – Step by Step Persistence

There’s some pathways you come across where you know that there’s a life lesson involved and there’s pathways that show you just how far you’ve come. This was a bit of both for me.

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to connect with the sacred qualities of practicality and deliberation, of small steps taken over a long period of time.”

I know there’s been a massive gap between the last pathway and this one and that’s because there has been a lot of learning and integration that has taken place in the time in between.

In the last pathway I talked a lot about shadow work and learning to take responsibility for the parts of yourself that are difficult to own. I feel that this pathway has taken me in a lot deeper and shown me how shadows work on a whole new level.

The pathway talks about step by step persistence. It says, “Love also demands this type of persistence, especially when a relationship has begun to mature beyond attraction, in to something deeper.”

This is what I’ve been exploring on a number of levels within myself since I last posted on my journey with the pathways. Self-love is something that I’ve been learning to cultivate for a long time and one of the biggest realisations was just how much deeper I needed to go with this.

I feel like my relationship with myself and also with my work has reached that level of maturity that the pathway talks about. I relate it to my own journey. When I first discovered energy healing, it led me to create an idea of who I wanted to be and the work I wanted to do. As I travelled on this path, I started becoming that woman I always saw myself to be and doing the work I wanted to do. I saw myself making the difference I wanted to make and I am achieving that.

I look upon that now as the honeymoon period when I started to fall in love with myself, or at least this idea of who I wanted to be. I put all my effort and energy in to pursuing this dream. I worked hard to become that person and find what needed to be healed.

As my relationship with myself and the love I have cultivated for myself and my work starts to mature and deepen, I find that there are challenges and it doesn’t get easier. The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we are challenged to love our imperfections. The more we are challenged, the deeper in to ourselves it takes us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been paying attention to what’s happening in my life. I’m observing what I’m doing and saying. I’m observing what other people are doing and saying and I am learning a great deal. To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.

I find I’m not the woman I fell in love with. I’m not willing to be defined that way or any way but I’m finding I love myself anyway. Who I am, just like any long term relationship, has morphed and changed. It just is what it is and doesn’t need defining anymore. When that happens, that relationship really doesn’t look like what you thought it would. When you get to this place, you realise that kind of love takes strength. It takes persistence and courage. It takes a conscious decision that even though it isn’t what you thought it would be, you’re choosing to love it anyway.

My path over the last few weeks has been a rollercoaster on a personal and emotional level. I’ve had some really tough challenges and I’ve had to really make a decision about how I feel about myself and what I’m going to do for myself out of love for myself. It’s meant shutting down for a while. It’s meant standing my ground. It’s meant not allowing anyone else’s opinion to cloud how I feel. It’s meant reaching in for my own truth. It’s meant expressing, sharing and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

The detail of what I’m facing is irrelevant but suffice to say that there will always be people who try to bring you down. Some with their words and some with their actions. I say this because with the last pathway we talked about being responsible for ourselves and our projections. I’m also learning to discern my own truth and that means that rather than own everything, I’m recognising that people play out their own pain by throwing it at other people. This is what I mean when I say “To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.” I’m not willing to own someone else’s pain. I bless their journey but I know what’s mine and what’s not.

If you allow anything to cause doubt within yourself, you lose. When you love another, you trust them with your whole heart and you don’t doubt if they are true. When you love yourself, you must see it exactly the same way. I’ve learnt this and it’s unearthed a massive strength in me.

Persistence means that you have to fight for yourself. As an empath, I’m great at fighting for others but maybe not so good at fighting for myself. One of things that this pathway has shown me is just how much I love myself and love my work. When push comes to shove, if my ability to do my work is threatened, I will fight to the death and I will win. Nothing is going to bring me down and each time it tries to take me down, I come back a hell of a lot stronger. That’s because I know what I bring to this world is important. I’m fighting for me but I’m also fighting for all of those people who benefit from what I do.

I think the most beautiful thing that’s come alive for me is this fire that I know I’ve always had in me. I think as you reach in to spirituality, you almost believe that you need to put that fire out for the sake of love and light. That fire is courage in adversity. That fire is fighting for what you believe in. That fire is a relentless amount of self-assuredness. That fire must never be diluted, especially for those that are making a difference in this world.

None of this comes without persistence. None of this comes without a fight. None of this comes without being challenged. For me, I didn’t realise it but this is what I’ve been building step by step. I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything leads you to the moment where you’re at right now. Perhaps you need to be challenged for you to find your strength? Perhaps you need the darkness to come at you for you to overcome it?

I believe that this is all the alchemy of the Universe at work. Every action is a small step towards something greater. I sometimes forget there’s a bigger picture and get bogged down in the detail of it all but I’m human. It sometimes takes adversity to show you just how far you have travelled.

I take great strength from this pathway. It’s a long journey full of twists and turns, full of challenges but look how beautiful it can be. It’s designed to help you find yourself and if you can see that, you’ll keep at it.

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 30th November 2018

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s been a little messy since the full moon, hasn’t it?!

Many of us are finding that the lessons are coming in thick and fast and with Mercury has been in retrograde since November 16th. It goes direct around the time of the new moon on the 7th December and there’s refreshing changes on the way. Well that’s the least we can hope for.

Expect between now and then to be messy. There is much coming up to heal and one of the things that will really hit you is that one same lesson that you’ve still not learnt. I know I’m feeling it in many areas of my life at the moment and it really is time to gather your wits about you!

The best way to handle it is to take that time out for yourself. Reflect. I mean really reflect and ask yourself what are the things that you keep experiencing time and time again. There’s your big clue. Whether it’s feeling hard done by or whether it’s a feeling of stop/start – just take time to sit with it.

The next step is to ask yourself, “What am I doing that’s keeping it the same?” Therein lie a lot of the answers.

Remember there are some things that are programmed in as subconscious patterns and so they’re not that easy to shift on your own. If you want to give me a call, I’d be happy to help you with this.

Think about what you want to do differently. I can’t remember who it was that said that it’s an act of madness to do the same thing again and again and expect a different result. It might have been Einstein but he was right.

It is really heavy right now but it’s all about getting us to take a real good look at where we have come from and how we want to change. Mars, the planet of action, is also on the move so this will make it easier.

I would say take some time to reflect. Sometimes we can want change so badly but the actions that we are taking really aren’t in alignment with what we want to achieve. It’s time to work it all out so that when you do take action, it’s with intention and is fruitful for you.

I know my own personal way of doing things is haphazard and so sitting down and working things out is something I’m not used to doing. I kind of follow my heart on a whim and a prayer and structure and discipline are completely alien concepts to me. This wave of ascension energy has really forced me to slow down, take stock and plan.

My challenge now is trying to stick to the plan!

One thing I do know is that this year has been start/stop energy for many of us. It has brought up so much for us to heal and I know that many of you are going through a messy time right now.

I’ve been doing my own Emotion Code sessions to help me shift out of these old patterns because I know it isn’t me that doesn’t want to take action – it’s my subconscious hindering me. As a result, I’m noticing the changes in myself on a massive scale. I think those of you who have been following my social media have also noticed how much I’m changing.

It’s important that we tune in and believe that we are not hopeless in our endeavours. Healing is here to help you. If you’d like to have a chat, please get in touch. A consultation call is completely free.

Click here to book – https://www.fresha.com/providers/15863

Healing, Inspiration

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it. Lately, I’ve been working to try and reach more people and that’s because I know I can really make a difference. I know there’s more to do and I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this so I thought I’d share my thinking on this with you.

So I know that I have a real impact on people’s lives. I know that healing has helped make massive leaps for people’s careers. I’ve helped people come back from absolute rock bottom. I know that there’s some clients who literally trust me with their lives. I know that I’ve helped people avoid being on prescription drugs and even helped some people to come off them. I know I’ve helped people become confident and assertive. I know I’ve helped people overcome their fears of intimacy. I know I’ve helped people make sense of their spiritual journey and taught them how to work on themselves. I’ve seen people grow and blossom in front of my eyes. I’ve helped people to take charge of their own destiny and given them the perspective that’s helped them to believe that everything is possible.

The list is endless and you’d think that this would be enough evidence for me to believe in myself, right? Well, I’m going to be really honest here and say that I’ve only just started to understand the difference I make to people’s lives and I’m still battling with this. Empaths start on a much lower self-worth level to others in my opinion and it takes a lot to climb to that place where you truly believe in your gifts.

I had a lovely client come in the other day and something he said will stick with me forever. He said, “You can say that your work is rewarding and real satisfaction and that you make a real difference. People will remember you for what you did for them.” I tried to stay cool, but inside my heart dropped a little because I’d not taken that perspective. I usually just bumble along, shrug off the praise and get on with the job. I hadn’t really been listening or taking on board the nice things that people have said because perhaps I didn’t feel that I truly deserved it. I always focus on what else there is left to do and this made me stop and take stock and really appreciate what I have.

I know that when people tell me how much I’ve helped them with the sessions we’ve had together, I still have a hard time accepting the praise. It’s like I still can’t quite believe that I’m doing this.

It takes an awful lot to step up and accept all of who you are. I’m finding this as I battle my way through it. I talk a lot about working with the shadow aspects, but this is like another form of shadow that we also need to work with. Being able to see and accept what you’re putting in to world and the positives it brings is a beautiful thing. What happens is that we think of this as Ego and retreat in to being humble. I know this is what I’ve been doing and actually as a result, I’m not getting what I truly deserve because I don’t truly believe I deserve it.

This is one of the things that I’m trying to set about changing in myself because it’s part of my self-sabotage pattern and I know I’m fed up of living that pattern. In my bones, I feel that it’s time to step up and really be visible about the work that I do. I’m building my confidence. I’m getting better at accepting praise and I’m really listening and allowing the evidence to show me that this journey is well worth the graft. Look at what I can do – it’s magical but in the daily grind, the magic gets lost and forgotten. I want to be the person that still believes in the magic!

It can be overwhelming, but I’m learning that actually praise and kind words are how people are showing love and appreciation. I have to keep my heart open to this love. It doesn’t mean it’s going to my head and it doesn’t make me any less humble. It’s quite a difficult and new concept to me to be able to celebrate the good things that I have put in to the world and be proud of what I have achieved. It’s actually quite scary!

I’m conscious not to take anything for granted because I know where I came from. At the same time, I understand that if I am overwhelmed by it, I’m not in complete acceptance of it. It’s an interesting dilemma because the Ego is shouting “Be humble!” and at the same time you’re at the point where you can’t deny the evidence that’s put before you.

The trick is to define your own sense of identity because there is strength in having that sense of self. The Ego is the false identity and when it screams “Be humble!” at you, it is one of the ways in which it is holding you back and keeping you in the limitations that you’ve been taught.

I never really recognised this fully before now and working with it has been really challenging. I can say in my own mind I believe I make a difference and I’m starting to accept the evidence as real. Remember how deep set the ego ideas and beliefs are.

Defining your own sense of self takes time. I’ve been on this journey a while and I’m still finding false selves and as each mask falls away, it enables me to become more authentic, more real and more confident in my own definition of who I am.

I don’t want to be what I’m taught I have to be in this world. I don’t want to have limitations and restrictions placed on me.

I want to be able to share and celebrate the fullness of who I am. I want to believe that I can attract what I deserve. I want to believe that I truly deserve it.

If any of this resonates and you’re on the path trying to find ways to become who you came here to be, please get in touch with me. I love working with opening hearts and minds to all the possibilities!

 

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 16 – Flexible Strength

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a flexible strength that can adapt to any situation and yet remain rooted in, and moving toward, the purpose of your life.”

This pathway came at just the right time for me to integrate many of the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I’ve talked before about distraction and how sometimes being an empath can mean that you get absorbed and pulled in to everyone else’s stuff. We can feel resentful because our full focus is not on our own mission.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been consciously looking at how I get pulled away and distracted and I’ve made a lot of changes. The first thing that I want to say is thank you to all the true friends that have understood that I’ve needed me and my work to come first. It’s appreciated more than you know.

One of aspects of this pathway is developing strength from the way that we look at the past. For those of you that know me, you’ll know I do a lot of work with the shadow aspect. The shadow is all about looking at all the things that you’re not so comfortable with and I feel that it’s a way of breaking down the ego.

The pathway talks about forgetting the past and just keeping going. I find this really interesting and I don’t take that literally. I think there is much to be gained by understanding that you can’t just put your past in a box and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Part of shadow work is to revisit some of the more uncomfortable parts and to work through them and with them in a way that allows us to learn more about who we are. This process helps us to accept parts of ourselves that we may have disowned because of shame or anger at the way we behaved. Learning love and compassion for yourself means that you have to go in and be able to accept all of this to be whole.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t care to name and shame because it is deeply troubling. These parts usually are distinguished as the judgements we make about others. It’s hard to accept that that’s ourselves being reflected back at us. I know when I first started working with my shadow aspects, it sent me in to deep despair and it was so easy to let those things bring me down. That was because I didn’t fully own them and I hadn’t healed from them and so they still had a lot of power of me as a person.

It is easy when we face adversity to act out old shadows. Sometimes it is that inner child surfacing and being able to face yourself takes courage. It means being able to feel pain, shame, anger, fear and know that it has a place within you along with everything else. The spiritual journey isn’t all love and light and rainbows and unicorns! There are times when it is deeply uncomfortable getting to the truth. And the truth isn’t always fashionable enough to wear so we wear a mask instead. All of this starts to become apparent as you work with the shadow. It takes courage and being human, sometimes my courage fails but I think even approaching your shadow is a good start.

I do this because I want to be authentically myself. Sometimes authenticity can get lost in politeness and people pleasing. You’ll notice how that feels in yourself and I know that I don’t like it. I don’t like letting people down but when it’s a choice between that and letting myself down, I’ve learnt that it’s not always easy to choose me. It’s something that will take time to master and there’s a lot to work through.

There is darkness within all of us but part of our inner work is to face it and begin the alchemical process of transmuting it and learning to shine light on it so that it becomes something more than just a painful memory. From this process, we develop the flexible strength that this pathway is teaching us about. A person is more than the sum of their parts. When we identify all the parts, we become that something more. This is what I’m talking about. It isn’t the easiest thing to name those parts and become that something more.

When you know yourself, you are truly resilient in the face of adversity. When you are reluctant to face all aspects of yourself, you’re likely to be triggered. I think it always goes, “Trigger first, lesson later!” We need time to ponder and reflect and life is amazing in the way that it presents the lessons to us on a plate. Each trigger is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes it starts with a bitch and a vent, but as you work through it, you realise that you need to own that judgement that you’ve made because it’s showing you who you are. When you’re at peace with it, you’ll experience it without being triggered. This is true strength.

There’s “who we like to think we are” versus “who we actually are” and the ego likes to hold on to it’s ideas about our identity and how we define ourselves. We have deeply set ideas, some so deep set that we’ve yet to see them.

There’s always more to do in breaking down the ego and it can sometimes feel like you’re treading water and that you’ll never be free of it. Even that is an acceptance in itself. You are in the actual process when you acknowledge it and try to make peace with it. It always feels better to me to acknowledge that I am on my way to something. It’s the process that’s more important than the outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we realise that it’s too big. When we focus on the process, we see that we’re taking steps towards something. A step in the direction you’re choosing feels better than perfection.

It’s always interesting to say the least working with the shadow aspect. We start to discover just how many lies we have told ourselves – more than we care to admit. It’s a level of honesty that you can’t really be ready for when it hits you. It makes sense to do it though because you arrive at a truer version of yourself than the one you are now. Constantly moving and evolving to get to the truth of who you are is meaningful work and it grows you.

And once you start on the quest for truth, you can’t stop!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 20th November, 2018

Well there’s definitely been a massive shift in the ascension energy since Venus went direct on the 16th November. The thing that I’ve noticed is that all those lessons that we’ve learnt when it comes to relationships are at the forefront of our minds. There is a steely determination in the air and the vibe is centred about not going back to our old ways.

With this energy shift, there have been physical symptoms. For me, the amount of sleep I am needing has increased! The rest is an important part of any energy shift because our soul energy moves a lot faster than our physical mind and body does. We need to physically catch up and as we process, it can make our minds and bodies feel tired.

One thing that I feel strongly is to understand that everyone’s pace is different. I do however get the sense that once we have caught up (however long this takes) the energy will speed up and you’ll find yourself really getting to grips with what needs doing and following through on things that have been sitting for a while.

With this energy, there’s definitely a sense of sifting through and prioritising. I know that this is the energy because it isn’t a process that comes naturally to me. I feel a deep need to really connect in solitude and actually that’s guiding me to what the priorities are at any given time.

The energy is magical at the moment. So many signs and synchronicities. It feels like it has to be this way to get us to believe in the magic again! The energies have been so heavy over the past few months that this is much needed relief for us all.

It’s uplifting even if it making us feel sleepy! I’ve found so much more joy and laughter since the shift happened and this lightness brings with it a renewed hope and optimism.

It really is a magical time and a brilliant time to get things in motion. I know that Mercury is retrograde but I feel that it’s time to plan and put together the vision for the future. It feels like we have moved on from so much after Venus shifted and it has given much needed clarity.

Re-evaluating relationships was the focus of Venus retrograde and it’s beautiful how the lessons learnt are resulting in the way that we approach anything new. There is something cautious and protective in the energy, but at the same time it isn’t coming from a place of fear. It’s coming from heightened intuition and the resistance to learning lessons seems to be subsiding.

There is an openness to this energy and a willingness to welcome whatever emotions are coming to visit. It’s an expansive space and its fast paced. There is a lot of movement and almost like a feeling of whizzing through the air at times.

With Mercury Retrograde, it’s important to pay attention to the details for us to properly harness the energy. If you’re anything like me, you’ll get carried and not take account for the small print! I have to keep reminding myself. Checking in is important and remember not to go too fast with this because there is the potential for burnout.

It is reassuring to know that all is coming to fruition but the message that’s coming through really strongly is that we need to take everything at our own pace. You can’t swallow the entire ocean. You can only take a sip at a time. This energy is setting the tone for what’s to come and so on a practical level, now is the time to think about what you’d like to introduce in to your routine. Whether it’s new ways of thinking, new habits, structure, discipline. This will all be made easier because of the energy that we are in.

The Universe is supporting us to get to where we need to go. Most of the time, it can feel like the Universe is throwing us a curve ball and teaching us the lessons but this energy is lovely because it feels supportive, reassuring and energising in a way that I’ve not experienced to this extent before.

Take advantage of it! Also know that what’s meant for you is on it’s way and regardless of whether you consciously or subconsciously try to sabotage it, it’s all coming for you anyway. You’ll learn what you need to learn through the process but that which you desire is the thing to keep in mind.

Learn to become obsessed with visualising what you’d like this energy to bring you and watch as the Universe meets you and supports you to achieve and realise it. It’s a beautiful feeling to be able to believe in the magic again and I’m really loving what’s happening right now.

Remember when you feel the magic, you resonate that vibration and that vibration has an impact on others. The more you can harness that feeling, the more you are contributing to raising the vibration on this planet. We are all doing that. Even something as simple as being in a good mood or sending out good vibes makes a difference.

I hope you’re making the most of it! I’ve cracked on with more videos as a result of this little boost so if you’d like to take a look CLICK HERE! Get in touch if you’d like to share how you’re feeling about the future!

Until next time,

Love Hafsa

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Being an “Old Soul”

Pathway 15 – Al-Muqaddim – Preparing the way

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to acknowledge the part of your being that feels “oldest,” and prepare the way for power to flow through your life.”

So this is the pathway that I have been exploring and it started with a healing transmission that I did at the beginning of November which started a profound shift for me in terms of accessing the oldest parts of my being.

Power is an interesting concept, particularly for me. Since I began on this journey, everything has been about stepping in to my power and continuously I’m finding newer ways to do this. I had some funny ideas about power when I first started on this journey, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to see it as a positive force in my life.

The pathway really is about delving in to who we are. Our souls were created long before our bodies were and so that part of us has lived and acquired a great deal of wisdom.

One of the things I noticed as soon as I started work with this pathway was the number of references made in relation to me being an “old soul.” The first time I heard that phrase I must have been about 17 and I’d sneaked away to London for the day. I went to Camden Market and was mooching around. I met this guy who looked like an old sage and he was full of love and life. I can still see his face. We ended up chatting for a long while. He caught sight of the palm of my hand and asked if he could have a look. I felt a bit hesitant but I agreed. He told me I was a very old soul but it wouldn’t be later in life until I realised what that meant. I’d completely forgotten about this experience and now that I’m writing about it, it brings it all back for me.

The story came back to me because I’ve only just realised that what he set in motion has resulted in this here today and I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. In this work, I am fortunate enough to be deliberately and consciously setting in motion change for those I work with.

It made me look at how I work with people and what I’m able to access. The pathway drew me to connect even deeper within myself. We spend life trying to define who we are in this world when really who we are sits within our soul. Once we start connecting to that deeper sense, everything in life starts to move around us for us to be able to fully understand and return to that original soul self.

The pathway is about returning back to our original image and this journey here in this world is what creates the means for us to do this. Life teaches us the nature of who we really are on one level. I’m talking about going beyond that. I’m talking about being from a place that you can’t access in a physical way.

For those of you who have read previous blogs, you’ll know that I talk about “going home” and by that I mean that place where we came from that’s before this world or any other world. It always seemed separate from me until I started to understand how to channel it in this world. I have more of a sense of belonging now that I ever have.

The adventure with this pathway was to learn how to go deeper within and I have found that connecting with this idea that I have been this energy for much longer than the 39 years here on earth has had a profound shift in my energy. I understand power on a much deeper level and it really is having an impact on the way I’m choosing to live.

The whole world looks different to me as a result. I’ve always been seeking to find my place here on Earth and each time I find it, I find new levels of understanding it. It’s not possible, I don’t think, to understand your place here unless you also understand where your soul has been.

I’m blessed to be an old soul and it really is becoming a distinct part of who I am. It gives me a uniqueness as a person. It has also made me curious enough to delve deeper. All of this enquiry is for a reason – this I know for certain. Synchronistically with this pathway, I’ve discovered aspects of my ancestry that have helped me to understand my spiritual gifts on a much deeper level. When healing is literally in your blood, you have no choice but to accept that’s who you are. It’s beautiful and it’s taken my sense of belonging to another level which is great for me and for the world!

I think the most amazing aspect of this pathway though is allowing yourself to open up and letting the power of YOU flow through. The more you access this part of yourself, the more you are preparing the way for what’s to come next. One of the beautiful things about this pathway is that it opens you up to wonder. I always talk about potential and fulfilling that potential but this is on a whole other level. It’s like you’ve got back up and support and everything you need. It’s like you are that potential in every moment.

With this pathway being so profound and deep, I’m actually having a challenging time in articulating how it’s making me feel. Suffice to say though that like all the other ways, it is changing me for the better. The closest phrase to describe how I feel is that “I am really coming into my own.” That sort of captures it.

The feelings you get when you’re accessing this are out of this world. Phenomenal. I wish I could tell you how or what to do to get there because everyone needs to feel this. I’m still integrating and working that out but when I have that in a practical form, I will share it. There is a sense of pride that comes from knowing yourself in this way. It isn’t an ego thing, simply a sense of contentment and being sure about who you are. This may not make much sense but if you know, you know.

There is a whole other world and worlds within worlds to discover. Such is the beauty of connecting to yourself, your power, your lineage, your ancestry, and the source of all that power.

“This is love.

To fly toward a secret sky,

to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.

First to let go of life.

Finally, to take a step without feet.”

Rumi

Energy Updates

11:11 Energy Portal, 2018

If you keep seeing 11:11 and you understand it’s significance, keep reading. November has arrived and it feels like I’ve been waiting for this! It’s a really interesting time. The 11:11 portal has opened. We are now in full blown ascension energy. This wave has activated a new set of energies from within. I’ve certainly felt it and it is a lot deeper than previous waves.

October’s energy was pretty intense. One of the biggest themes was letting go. New Earth. New Me. It was as if we were preparing for something more intense. It has arrived although I don’t quite know what it looks like. I just know that its in the same place as I am.

I was fortunate enough to visit some sacred sights. On Halloween, I was at Avebury Stone Circle and then went on to Glastonbury Tor. It was a sacred and magical experience. Wednesday evening saw massive waves of energy coming in as the portals opened.

I felt quite blessed to be in Glastonbury, at the Heart Chakra of the world and spent quite some time with the energies there to cleanse and clear. I’m still processing everything that happened within on my journey and don’t quite feel ready to share as one piece of writing. There was far too much, but I feel the activations I received will have a major impact on my work.

The energies are driving us forward at the moment. My sense is that November is about clarity in terms of purpose and mission. November is also about being unafraid to change direction. It is about intuition and heart led intelligence. It also feels like it’s about being awake. I mean literally being awake – sometimes all night in my case!

The beauty of intuition is that there is no need for any physical and tangible evidence. When we intuit, it doesn’t matter what’s around us. All that matters is what is within. These energies are showing us that whatever is within us is clearly manifesting outside out us. The thing to grasp with this idea is that you have the power and you are able to drive and direct your reality. Tune in to your higher heart and let it guide you. The energy is making it easier for you to do this. You’ll find you have ideas, hunches and flashes of inspiration and you need to take action. You need follow the call.

As within, so with out is an age old idea that many have written about but there is some certainty and conviction about it’s truth in a completely different way now. It feels as if there is nowhere to hide with the intensity of how the truth is placed at the forefront of our awareness. We have no choice but to follow the signs. It isn’t about looking back at the breadcrumb trail that led you here. It’s about looking ahead to your next destination and lifting your foot to take that step.

Acknowledging the truth that we are seeing now gives us a justification for letting go. It is easier when you can see why you’re doing what you’re doing. The world looks and feels completely different when you are seeking truth. I certainly feel like I’ve been to the opticians and got new glasses because what I am seeing around me appears completely different. It is like we are being installed with a completely new operating system. I feel like the old one has been wiped out.

I feel very much that I am feeling my way through a new way of being. People I know are feeling like complete strangers to me at the moment and it is disorientating but I can feel that something is definitely changing. I’ve often said that this world is a simulation. It is a way of experiencing your true nature and delivering your soul’s mission in a physical way so that you understand the wholeness of being. This simulation is likened to the Matrix and I’m definitely feeling that analogy with these energies.

This is a time of massive energy shifts and it is important to harness this and use it to drive you forward. Seek clarity on your purpose and mission by simply asking for it. There are so many signs if you’re looking. The sky tells you stories. Nature gives you messages. Pay attention to what is happening around you and stay open to change course at any moment.

Yes it is disorientating but don’t let that phase you. It feels like a very special time and learning to harness the energy and allowing it to direct you feels like the right thing to do. It feels like this update has been a bit of a mish mash of ideas with no coherence but that tells you a lot about what’s going on! I’m still processing, but I wanted to get something out because it may help some of you.

 

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Maintaining and nourishing yourself

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a very steady yet powerful state of awareness in your being that maintains and nourishes you and others.”

This is the pathway that I’ve been reflecting on this past week and it is one that presents plenty of challenges for me. Embodying a steady state is something that I have been working on for as far as I can remember. For me, there is a juxtaposition here with being a free spirit.

This pathway requires pulling yourself inwards whilst you experience life. Being a free spirit, it’s easy for my heart to be called elsewhere. I want to talk about this because for me it is one the most challenging aspects of who I am as a person. This is where the conflict lies and I’m noticing that it is how my power escapes sometimes.

I know I have this immense reservoir of love within me and the capacity to nourish and give to others. This pathway takes me further in to using this source to help maintain myself and it is this very thing that I have been trying to do for a long time. This pathway has helped me to uncover a whole other level and given me an awareness and perspective that goes deeper.

For those of us that are empathic, it’s very easy to relegate our own needs in order to serve others. We think that this is why we came here – to serve. That’s part of it but not the whole of it.

This pathway really made me look at the way I give and the expectations that I have created from others around me. When I began to pull it back and go within, what struck me is how very little I have given myself. With a reservoir so large, it’s almost as if I think can survive on a lot less from the pot so rather than taking from it, I put in to it. This brings up feelings of guilt and feeling selfish. At the same time, I look around me and notice that perhaps I feel this more because of the belief that I came here to serve. There are deep set emotions here about worthiness attached to this and whether I deserve to take when I can give so much. It became obvious to me that there was very little balance in my life when it came to this.

It’s been a really challenging week and working with this pathway has actually made me feel really sad. I have to be raw and honest about how I feel. That’s what this space is for and it needs to be expressed.

The pathway also reminds me that I must not overextend myself. This is what occurred to me and I can see clearly where I am doing this. I can blame being an empath to some extent but the truth of it is that I have plenty of fleeting whims and distractions all created by my ego to prevent me from embodying this state. I can see that very clearly. I realised that I can’t hide behind anything anymore. Especially not when it has been shown to me this clearly. When you realise how little you have given yourself, it brings up anger and resentment and I’ve had to spend a lot of time working with this. I’ve allowed this and I forgive myself. I can change and that is what I am doing. Easy statements to make but if you’ve ever gone through this, you’ll know the raw emotion it brings up.

This idea of sacrifice comes with this type work and it’s something that keeps coming up for me to clear away. The idea that being in service should be at the expense of your own self simply isn’t true. I am entitled to a life just like everyone else. There’s a paradox here as the “service” is actually what I have chosen to do. It’s my own path I’m creating so it is as much for me as it is for humanity. The ego makes you choose one or the other and we are conditioned to believe that choosing service to others is the better thing to do. In actual fact, we can have both but it takes a lot of unlearning which I am still learning to do.

When I call the ego out on this, the contradictions are so very obvious. There is so much pain in saying goodbye to old ways of being. I’ve always tried to be conscious of what my ego is doing and exploring the pathways has brought up a lot of wounds that need to be healed within myself.

It isn’t easy getting the balance within yourself between serving others and serving yourself. We are brought up with conditioning that tells us that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught a linear way of thinking that suggests that if we think about ourselves first, it means that we don’t care about others. It’s difficult to shift to a way of thinking that enables you to be equal to others and there’s a perception that to consider yourself equal equates to being egotistical. It gets really complicated because you can think this logically in your head but when the feelings of guilt show themselves, your heart gets pulled straight back. This is what I’m grappling with.

I’m always banging on about self-worth and I’m a work in progress but what I am learning here has come at a critical time for me. My life is interesting because of the demanding nature of my work. I get phone calls and text messages all the time asking me all sorts of things. I’ve always felt the need to answer and help and I don’t regret helping. I do sometimes resent the demands and that’s me being really honest. I take full responsibility for this now where in the past I’d have blamed others. I’ve created and met these expectations without even thinking about it and it’s difficult to undo without experiencing emotional turmoil. Meeting demands is what I’ve been looking at taking a step back from because there is a line where my work ends and I begin and that can get blurred very easily. Even though boundaries have been set, a plea for help is a plea for help and my heart isn’t one that can ignore it easily. So it’s been an emotional time because for each time that has happened, I’ve had to ask myself who I am putting first. I’m learning to deal with the emotion that comes with it and I can tell you it isn’t easy but it is necessary. This is a spiritual lesson that needs to be learned.

A strong feeling of discomfort comes from taking a step back. It’s like going against what your heart is telling you when you don’t reply to a plea for help but I had to explore this feeling for myself. It feels as if people are relying on me. It feels that there is an urgency for them that I am ignoring and that somehow makes me a bad person. Again, this linear way of thinking is one I’m learning to undo because a lot of that conditioning simply isn’t true.

What I have realised with this pathway is that I go deep and I do have a lot to give. My priority has become to maintain that within myself. Embodying a steady state of awareness and power is important but I didn’t realise how important it was for maintaining and nourishing myself. I thought I was doing that and I know now that I am not doing enough of it. The reason for this is the raw emotion, the guilt, the anger, the feeling selfish that I’m still learning to overcome. And all this just to feel equal to others! It’s mind blowing because I thought I was overcoming myself in terms of self-worth but there’s always more I need to be shown and more I need to do.

It’s interesting because although I do take a lot of time for myself and I switch off when I have to, I’ve developed some sticky habits when it comes to work. It’s the belief that work overrides everything because of it’s nature. It doesn’t though. What overrides everything is my state of being and my ability to maintain and nourish myself and I’m starting to look at that as often as I can in response to meeting the worlds demands on me. I’m taking it one moment at a time and seeing how it feels to choose me.

Just when you think you’ve got the self-worth thing down, the universe throws you a massive curve ball. With things changing as rapidly as they are, this is a very valuable lesson that the universe is giving me. I’ve noticed how quickly it can become about everything else. I’ve noticed how my free spirit slips away under the mask of empathy.

Old beliefs and old habits are dying hard. I’m working hard on taking the shame out of “I’m putting myself first.” It’s one I think a lot of us can relate to. If nice people finish last, I’m not ok with that and so I’m determined to prove that wrong.

I am just as important as everyone else and I’m determined not to forget it!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 13 – Ar-Rauf – Healing Wings

So after quite a long break, I decided today to pick back up on the pathways again because it felt like I needed to reconnect. The last few months have been a time for extreme expansion and inner healing for me and so I caught this pathway and found myself working through it. It’s always as if this book knows exactly what is needed and this is the beauty of life. If you seek answers, you’ll find them. Sometimes, it isn’t the answer we were looking for. Sometimes it is the truth and we find that hard to bear, but nevertheless it is an answer.

This pathway is about reconnecting your heart to Unity. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we do not exist in isolation from others. I’ve always been quite a solitary person. I’ve also been a very strong person and my story always goes, “I don’t need anyone.”

The one thing I have learnt from my story is that when you give off the vibe that you don’t need anyone, you attract people that couldn’t care less about you. Have a think about that one. I know I did.

Receiving help and healing from others is one of the hardest things that I have had to learn. I am still learning it if I’m really honest.

This pathway for me showed me what that was all about. The last few months for me have been a struggle to stay in balance. When the ego falls away, we feel lost. When all our beliefs are challenged, we question who we are. When we feel lost, we need help and coming in to balance means that we need to connect on three deep levels.

Firstly we need to connect with Divine Source to truly be able to see the world through Creator’s eyes. We need to connect deep within ourselves to discover our desires and joy. We also need to connect ourselves with everything that is around us because like I said, we do not exist in isolation.

Without going in to too much detail, I’ve had experiences over the last few months that have really challenged me on all three levels and the expansion and awareness has changed me. For me this pathway is about recognising the struggle that we have when we become disconnected.

We think we have everything sussed and sorted and then along comes someone or something that brings out a whole lot more in you that needs to be healed. Someone or something that makes you question what you believe in. Someone or something that makes you admit what you really want isn’t in alignment with your story. Someone or something that allows you to open up and receive help and healing.

It is opening on a deep level and often these things are unexpected and meant to throw you off balance. All UNLEARNING is learning and part of the soul’s journey is to disconnect to be able to reconnect. We can arrive in a comfort zone with our spirituality unless we continuously challenge what we hold to be true. That in itself brings us to a better understanding of the Divine, of ourselves and of the world around us.

This separation between ourselves and Creator/ourselves/our world is something I want to touch on because for a lot of empaths like me, we have this yearning for home. We don’t know where home is but we have always had this longing and this deep sadness because we feel separated from it. Those of you who know, will know.

This pathway pointed to something quite poignant for me. It led me to explore all the times that I had tried to heal the separation within myself. The separation and disconnectedness can be healed through this idea that we are part of Unity. That is home.

Being spiritual isn’t simply about a set of ideals and beliefs. It’s about connecting on the three levels that I have mentioned. It is about striving to achieve that balance within yourself. It’s about repairing all the connections and this for me is the deepest kind of healing.

Sometimes we are shown through trauma and experience. Sometimes we are shown by another person who has entered our lives to teach us this very lesson. All I know is that you need to dig deep and challenge what you think you already know about yourself. For me, it was reminding myself that I also need help.

It is when I need help, comfort, affection that I am at my most vulnerable because it challenges my story. I’m admitting this here and now and I’m choosing to see this as a strength. Over the last few months, I’ve seen what compassion really is from people I would not have expected it from and it’s taken me to new depths in the way I operate in the world.

I’ve learnt what it means to receive compassion and real love and to be able to express it for another. I’ve learnt that I am absolutely safe being vulnerable because I trust that Divine is always looking out for me. I’ve learnt that when I am out of balance, I need to heal the separation within myself.

This pathway took me to a whole new level of opening within myself. I thought my heart was open and I’ve learnt that even though it is open, it can open so much wider.