99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 18 – Al-Ghani – Tending Your Garden

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel your heart as a garden in which everything you need is growing. See yourself living in this garden.”

It has been a while since I wrote on another pathway. With this one, I’ve been exploring and exploring and now it feels like the right time to write. One thing I will say is that I thought I’d do a pathway every couple of weeks – that was the plan but they don’t work in a linear way. It’s always the way that I choose one and it becomes the theme for my inner work and observation. Rather than rushing, it feels much better to explore in my own time and share when there is real wisdom that emerges. That makes it more meaningful for you and for me.

The pathway starts with talking about what happens when the heart begins to expand and seeing ourselves in others. This pathway continues to teach me the good, the bad and the ugly of who I am and this is through what I see in others.

I feel like I’ve gone through one of the biggest and deepest expansions spiritually over the last few months. I’ve had external help to guide and push me over my comfort zones and that has been amazing. It really reinforces that we can’t do everything ourselves. I’ve also been connecting more with my guides in the etheric realms and receiving deeper wisdom and guidance. I’ve been working a great deal with my power centres – the solar plexus and the sacral.

One of the biggest learnings I’ve had is understanding my place in the whole grand scheme of things, my place in the Universe. If we are all dots that are connected, I’m really starting to see that I am one of those dots and the connections that I have to the other dots and the ripples I send out by working on myself and sharing my wisdom. It takes this idea of seeing all beings as yourself to a whole other level and it’s really helped to me feel supported with what I do. Understanding that my story is part of an even bigger story and without my character, the story would change. It simply wouldn’t be the same.

Another aspect of the pathway talks about the connection between action and the vision that you have. For a long while, I’ve had a vision but for one reason or another, I just wasn’t moving very much. Deep down there plenty of fears of where it would take me. This extended the way I looked at the good, bad and ugly within myself. I realised that I was limiting myself and really not seeing the possibilities. Sometimes taking action is the thing that leads to even deeper growth. We can learn and teach wisdom but to live that wisdom enables your heart to grow. We can be authentic but we are always finding the masks and learning to continuously uncover even more authentic parts of ourselves. I did have to stop and think about this seriously and that made me realise just how much I was taking for granted. When you uncover all this wisdom, you realising that you’re not even sharing a fraction of what’s in there. Once you begin, things start to change and grow.

Tending your garden is one thing and I feel that I have planted so many seeds. With watering and nurturing, I’m beginning to see these seeds grow. I find myself changing yet paradoxically at the same time becoming more myself than I have ever been. When that seed starts to sprout a few leaves, you get excited and you know that there’s flowers to come and it’ll be glorious and beautiful. It’s being grateful that By God’s grace, the seeds we plant grow.

The pathway uses the example of the garden of life. We plant everything that we need in our life and plenty of other things that we don’t need. This garden is also a metaphor for the heart. The heart is where the truth sits. Part of the process is weeding out what’s not needed or what’s taking up space preventing other things from growing. There are plenty of distractions and reasons not to do things and the more I think and ponder, the more I procrastinate. I decided it was time to pull these weeds out and call them out. It involved a lot of harsh truths but at the end of the day, they’re blocking my sunshine. It doesn’t matter how much you water and nurture yourself, without the sunshine you’ll wither. I liken this to what I’ve been through. I’d found my inner light but I was afraid of shining and now I really am facing that in a big way, things are really starting to change.

It’s only been a couple of months, but I am really not who I used to be. I feel myself shining, confident and bursting with colour. It makes the old me look like a dull hum in comparison. Now I’m conducting a whole orchestra making magical, harmonious sound frequencies. This is the power of tending your garden. This is the power of tending to your own heart.

I have found that even being open, warm and loving as a person, I was still quite guarded and I had the fear of trusting. When we look at the garden of our heart, we also look at the boundaries. Do we want to limit how big our garden gets? That’s something that I was not even conscious I was doing and bringing it to light has really helped me to make a shift. With this, belief is also key. It’s fine to say “I’m not going to limit myself” but it’s an even deeper shift when you say, “I’m willing to accept the reality that all things are possible for me.” We can protect ourselves as much as we want to but at the end of the day if we don’t believe that we are protected by a Source greater than ourselves, we form barriers to love and limitations to growth. There is an even greater plan for me than what I can imagine for myself. The possibility of that being true brings infinite other possibilities and the beautiful part is not being afraid of those possibilities anymore.

 “Another message of this pathway is that everything need not be done in the spotlight. Let the One veil you (another type of enclosure) and keep your secrets as you get on with your purpose in life.”

This is apt and it’s kind of been happening behind the scenes. I’ve been working on the business, in the business and on myself in this way. It’s only now I feel like I’m beginning to consolidate and share.

Deep changes and even deeper transformation. I really feel like the adventure has officially begun!

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 17 – Al-Matin – Step by Step Persistence

There’s some pathways you come across where you know that there’s a life lesson involved and there’s pathways that show you just how far you’ve come. This was a bit of both for me.

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to connect with the sacred qualities of practicality and deliberation, of small steps taken over a long period of time.”

I know there’s been a massive gap between the last pathway and this one and that’s because there has been a lot of learning and integration that has taken place in the time in between.

In the last pathway I talked a lot about shadow work and learning to take responsibility for the parts of yourself that are difficult to own. I feel that this pathway has taken me in a lot deeper and shown me how shadows work on a whole new level.

The pathway talks about step by step persistence. It says, “Love also demands this type of persistence, especially when a relationship has begun to mature beyond attraction, in to something deeper.”

This is what I’ve been exploring on a number of levels within myself since I last posted on my journey with the pathways. Self-love is something that I’ve been learning to cultivate for a long time and one of the biggest realisations was just how much deeper I needed to go with this.

I feel like my relationship with myself and also with my work has reached that level of maturity that the pathway talks about. I relate it to my own journey. When I first discovered energy healing, it led me to create an idea of who I wanted to be and the work I wanted to do. As I travelled on this path, I started becoming that woman I always saw myself to be and doing the work I wanted to do. I saw myself making the difference I wanted to make and I am achieving that.

I look upon that now as the honeymoon period when I started to fall in love with myself, or at least this idea of who I wanted to be. I put all my effort and energy in to pursuing this dream. I worked hard to become that person and find what needed to be healed.

As my relationship with myself and the love I have cultivated for myself and my work starts to mature and deepen, I find that there are challenges and it doesn’t get easier. The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we are challenged to love our imperfections. The more we are challenged, the deeper in to ourselves it takes us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been paying attention to what’s happening in my life. I’m observing what I’m doing and saying. I’m observing what other people are doing and saying and I am learning a great deal. To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.

I find I’m not the woman I fell in love with. I’m not willing to be defined that way or any way but I’m finding I love myself anyway. Who I am, just like any long term relationship, has morphed and changed. It just is what it is and doesn’t need defining anymore. When that happens, that relationship really doesn’t look like what you thought it would. When you get to this place, you realise that kind of love takes strength. It takes persistence and courage. It takes a conscious decision that even though it isn’t what you thought it would be, you’re choosing to love it anyway.

My path over the last few weeks has been a rollercoaster on a personal and emotional level. I’ve had some really tough challenges and I’ve had to really make a decision about how I feel about myself and what I’m going to do for myself out of love for myself. It’s meant shutting down for a while. It’s meant standing my ground. It’s meant not allowing anyone else’s opinion to cloud how I feel. It’s meant reaching in for my own truth. It’s meant expressing, sharing and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

The detail of what I’m facing is irrelevant but suffice to say that there will always be people who try to bring you down. Some with their words and some with their actions. I say this because with the last pathway we talked about being responsible for ourselves and our projections. I’m also learning to discern my own truth and that means that rather than own everything, I’m recognising that people play out their own pain by throwing it at other people. This is what I mean when I say “To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.” I’m not willing to own someone else’s pain. I bless their journey but I know what’s mine and what’s not.

If you allow anything to cause doubt within yourself, you lose. When you love another, you trust them with your whole heart and you don’t doubt if they are true. When you love yourself, you must see it exactly the same way. I’ve learnt this and it’s unearthed a massive strength in me.

Persistence means that you have to fight for yourself. As an empath, I’m great at fighting for others but maybe not so good at fighting for myself. One of things that this pathway has shown me is just how much I love myself and love my work. When push comes to shove, if my ability to do my work is threatened, I will fight to the death and I will win. Nothing is going to bring me down and each time it tries to take me down, I come back a hell of a lot stronger. That’s because I know what I bring to this world is important. I’m fighting for me but I’m also fighting for all of those people who benefit from what I do.

I think the most beautiful thing that’s come alive for me is this fire that I know I’ve always had in me. I think as you reach in to spirituality, you almost believe that you need to put that fire out for the sake of love and light. That fire is courage in adversity. That fire is fighting for what you believe in. That fire is a relentless amount of self-assuredness. That fire must never be diluted, especially for those that are making a difference in this world.

None of this comes without persistence. None of this comes without a fight. None of this comes without being challenged. For me, I didn’t realise it but this is what I’ve been building step by step. I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything leads you to the moment where you’re at right now. Perhaps you need to be challenged for you to find your strength? Perhaps you need the darkness to come at you for you to overcome it?

I believe that this is all the alchemy of the Universe at work. Every action is a small step towards something greater. I sometimes forget there’s a bigger picture and get bogged down in the detail of it all but I’m human. It sometimes takes adversity to show you just how far you have travelled.

I take great strength from this pathway. It’s a long journey full of twists and turns, full of challenges but look how beautiful it can be. It’s designed to help you find yourself and if you can see that, you’ll keep at it.