Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 5th May, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. This week we’re on new moon energy and planets in retrograde – Saturn in particular bringing the fire!

What the f*** just happened there? I thought I’d do my update a couple of days earlier because since yesterday, there’s been a remarkably noticeable shift in the energy. That fire though…!

So the energies were relatively calm yesterday up until late afternoon and then it felt like an almighty drop in the signal. Sudden fatigue, ears ringing and the kind of tiredness that just makes you drop. I had to stop what I was doing and take a moment. This hasn’t happened in a good while so I’m curious.

Something is definitely going on. Change feels like it’s on the horizon. Looking around to see what I could find, there’s plenty on Saturn being retrograde and clearing karmic patterns. It was like BOOM!

I went in to meditation to tune in to what’s going on. There definitely feels like we’re going to have to keep balancing and re-balancing through these energies. I’ve read a lot about May bringing all the good stuff but I always think it’s good to know that you might have to go through some shit to get there.

The rest of yesterday became a thunderstorm and a whole host of turbulent emotions. There really is a sense of what’s acceptable to you and what’s not. What do you stand for? Are you going to articulate it? Do you even need to explain yourself?

There’s something pushing us to stand our ground and be a lot more discerning about what we tolerate from others. We can deal with it or we can walk away. I get this mental image of a movie scene – that shot where the heroine is walking away calmly with the massive fireball explosion in the background.

That image captures it all for me yesterday. We don’t know where she’s walking to. All we know is that she’s walking away from it. There’s little softness to this energy and so if you’re not ready for it, it’ll catch you by surprise. I think May is going to be full of surprises.

There’s a sense of being at war with ourselves. My sense is that we’re going to see this reflected in our outer world, in politics and played out on the global stage.

There’s a strength to this energy that’s different though. It isn’t just about blowing things up and walking away. If only life was that simple! There’s a hardiness that can be felt and it comes to strengthen us spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Although there is a harsh finality to it and I think a lot of us will be feeling this, there’s also a sense of it being needed.

Off the back of that, we learn tough love and the toughest love is when we apply it to ourselves. Where we have become too passive, things are about to change. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather make my own changes than have them imposed upon me.

I think the soul searching phase is over and it really is about asking for the Universe to “Bring It On” in the nicest possible way. There’s internal conflict on the one hand we’re being tentative when on the other hand we want to go all guns blazing. I think we all have different approaches and that’s the beauty of it. I’m in the tentative phase personally but that’s changing rapidly. I think the key is discernment and knowing yourself enough to know where your risk level lies. I certainly feel a sense of “All In” and single minded focus.

However you choose to tackle what life throws at you, there isn’t a right or wrong way. It very much depends on you and the experiences that you’ve had. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself doing a complete 360 in the way that you do things. You might find your hand is forced and it’s only by cracking a nut you get to taste it’s sweet fruit.

Hold on to your hats people and get ready for the ride! It’s time to up-level, upgrade and up the ante.

I don’t know about you but I kinda love when things get disrupted in this way so I’m really excited about all this nut cracking. I feel it’s about time we changed up again. This isn’t going to be subtle. It’s going to be full on and it’s going to be pushy energy. There’s nothing to be afraid of…Game Face on!

Until next time….

Keep vibing high,

Love Hafsa

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 15th April, 2019

This is your Ascension Energy Update for this week. It feels like the calm before the storm. I know in the previous update we talked about chaos. Following that the theme has been “letting go.” Surprise surprise!

It has been a period of change for many. It isn’t necessarily letting go that we’re working with. It feels like a deeper energy. Following the chaos, this week is sombre, quiet, moody. It feels like the calm after the storm.

The storm has happened and now we are dealing with the aftermath. It feels like there has been a massive shift but everything feels like it’s on hold. It’s almost as if we are all grieving for what we have lost through the storm.

It’s an interesting energy this one. It comes in waves and it seems to be pulling up reminders of what has gone before. It has a distinct and determined feel to it. A sense of knowing that the lesson must be learnt in order to progress forwards.

There have been two major themes in the healing room. The first is grieving for the old you. Reflecting on the lessons of the past and realising that you are just not the same anymore. The chaos has changed you for the better and a feeling of not being done with just yet.

The second major theme in the healing room has been this experience of two extreme emotions and an awareness that they can exist in the same timeline. We can be grieving for one part at the same time as looking forward to the future.

The energies are working with us to really help us to understand this idea of Unity Consciousness. Although our experiences may be extremes of one emotion or the other, we are being shown that these polar opposites can exist at the same time in the same place and realising this actually helps us to move forward. For example, experiencing amazing success at a time as grieving for a loved one about to leave. Although it may feel that one taints the other, it’s understanding that there is much to be gained from both experiences.

The calm sets in to invite you to reflect. It feels like much has been overcome and this empty space feels like a void. A big, open expansive place. We are in another holding place awaiting another big shift which I feel will follow mid May.

This is a time to take stock, stop and smell the roses.

Amidst all of this reflection, take time for gratitude. We may have lost things and people that have been dear to us but we need to focus on what we were grateful for. When we lose something, we appreciate it’s value in our life and what it taught us. Whether it is a lesson, a person, an experience, the ascension process is calling us to understand gratitude at a whole new level.

Everything will change. I smell that in the air. Now is the time to be asking yourself what is it that you want to create for yourself? What is it that you want to manifest? How can you prepare for it? What else needs to be lost so that the real you can be found?

The next few weeks will be a period of evaluation as there is certainly more shedding to be done. It feels like it’s going to be a more practical shedding though. Well, it is spring cleaning now. It’s the mental and emotional spring cleaning that is much needed at this time.

It feels like we are going to become acutely aware of the resonances of old energy that are lingering. Time to dot the I’s and cross the T’s and tend to any unfinished business by facing it head on. It may feel difficult, yet necessary for you to move on in peace.

Challenges do lie ahead but enjoy this rest period while it lasts! Mercury is out the shadow phase from the 16th and that creates some more freedom of movement with your emotions. Don’t be surprised though if it feels like nothing is happening. Just keep plodding away with the inner work as there’s plenty happening upstairs that you’re probably not seeing. The inner work will pay off though.

And to manifest, you have to start as you mean to go on. Begin by taking action, even if it’s one thing that you change. Whether that’s a 10 minute meditation or some fresh air every day. The Universe needs to see you start to live like you believe it!

It is a great time for manifesting though so get on it! Make that vision board and lose the expectation of how you think it will be delivered. There’s a plan greater than yours. Be open to it!

Until next time…stay in your own vibe!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 4th April 2019

This is your Ascension energy update for the week and what a week it has been. In fact, it’s been a couple of weeks since I last did an update and that’s because I’m going through my own upgrading process at the moment and trying to keep up with everything has been a bit of a challenge!

I daren’t speak too soon but I do feel like we have all made a massive leap over the last couple of weeks. It’s not a noticeable leap, but that heavy energy has shifted. Some of us may still be working our way through it but bear with because it’ll lift.

There has been a big shift and the most noticeable thing is that it isn’t what we thought it would be. We have these ideas about what moving from one dimension to the other will feel like. The surprise element is that it still feels like being human!

Yes we are evolving through this Ascension process. In the third dimension, life is about just life and nothing beyond. The 4th and fifth dimensions teach us that there is more to life than what we see. We will always hold the perception that as we ascend up through the dimensions, by some miracle we will no longer have the human experience or that we will be bothered by nothing. The irony is that the very idea is your human speaking.

We are always back and forth between the different dimensions because the bulk of the healing takes place here and now in the 3D world. This is where you have the experiences. This is the playground, the simulation and as you learn your lessons, you get deeper in to the other dimensions but still, you experience them in this reality, in this physical realm.

It feels like we have been in the treacle like thickness of chaos over the last couple of weeks. One of things that we are learning about is our capacity to hold the energies. Learning to hold your own energy is essential because it allows you to do more and more and deliver your purpose.

The chaos has felt overwhelming but it seems that we are beginning to find our own rhythm with it all. For a lot of people, it’s pulled them towards healing or meditation and the theme seems to be very much around self-healing.

One of the big things that chaos teaches us is that we need to be responsible for ourselves. I’ve seen this massively in the healing room this week. What can I do to own my choices? How can I be at peace with this much responsibility? How can I trust my own decisions. I’ll be exploring all these in the videos that I’ll be doing over the coming weeks.

We all seem to feeling that deeper pull of what we love. Resistance seems to be another big theme. There is still much to be discovered in the shadows. What’s interesting is that this idea of love and light, rainbows and unicorns fast loses it’s appeal when we start getting real. It seems that the Universe is showing us how to get real by hitting us in the face with what life is throwing at us.

For myself and for many of my clients, the last couple of weeks have been about getting real. Not just getting real and facing the deep dark truths that we want to run from. The reality of where we are at right now, regardless of whether that’s our ideal situation or not. We see a glimmer of possibility shining on the horizon as we move through this big shift, but all that glitters comes with some life lessons and don’t we know it.

It feels like a pushy energy but in fact it is pulling us more towards what we want and giving us situations that show us the contrast. It feels like make or break time.

The future is in your hands. You just need to decide what it is and go after that on the understanding that it may not look like what you expected!

I feel April will bring many happy surprises though! A playful energy is in the air and this brings with it a need for joy. We create this through surrendering the resistance, through being truly grateful for what we have and most importantly, not taking it all too seriously.

The heaviness is passing…like a kidney stone…but it really is shifting. The dawn of a new era awaits and it’s full of exciting possibilities. Isn’t that what spring is all about?!

I’m off to leap in the meadows…proverbially of course!

If you need help releasing your resistance, please give me a shout!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 28th February, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s the last day of February and I don’t know about you but time seems to have been going really slowly. Christmas feels like it was years ago and the year seems to be going at a really slow pace.

One thing that is emerging is the level of clearing for all of us is reaching a depth we never even knew we had in us. There is a lot going on around the Heart Chakra and we seem to be revisiting the themes around “letting go” of things that don’t serve us. Have a look at this previous post around the Heart Chakra that might help. Click here to access.

The intensity of February’s energies is being felt by all. If you’ve been tuned in to what’s happening with the Schumann Resonance, you’ll know that the Earth’s frequency has been extremely high since mid February. Take a look by clicking this link.

Restlessness, sleeplessness, fatigue and upheaval all coming up as a result of the fluctuations in energy. It seems to be settling but worth just keeping an eye on. I think of it like this. This is the electromagnetic frequency of the Earth so it works with energy. If you think about your emotions as energy, then what’s happening is that this increase in electromagnetic energy is pulling the dense energy up to the surface to be cleared. This is why we feel out of sorts during these periods of high energy. It’s not the only reason, but it does have an impact.

What does all this mean? Well we’re all connected to each other and we’re all connected to this frequency. Whether you’re “awake” or not, you’ll feel it in some way, shape or form. For those that are new to the path, these feeling of being unsettled usually send them in search of an answer and it leads them to self-discovery and spirituality. For those that are already on this path, it unearths deeper layers. As more people wake up on the planet, the frequency or vibration rises. As more people work to raise their own vibration (through meditation, prayer, law of attraction etc) the higher the collective vibration.

There is no doubt that something is happening. It feels like the Earth is rumbling and calling in what it needs. We can see the world is changing. Politically, economically, socially, environmentally it feels like changes are afoot.

While this happens on a collective level, you’ll notice changes within you on an individual level. In your own life, this sort of energy brings with it changes. You know once you start seeing things a different way, you can’t go back to how it was. That’s the feeling that’s working it’s way through. It feels like change has been on the horizon for a long time but now feels like the right time to make that shift for good.

Another theme in the healing room and on a personal level has been this idea of a wake up call. This almost make or break moment that people are experiencing. It’s now or never. Although sometimes that can feel like a pushy energy, it feels like we are consciously making decisions that will benefit ourselves.

Everything we do on an individual level has an impact on the collective energy so never underestimate how important your part is. I was in London over the weekend talking to a friend as we walked through the city. I looked up and saw buildings either side and then blue sky. When you look up at the sky, you’re not even a dot in comparison. Then you think about our planet, and that’s not a dot in comparison to the Universe. She helped me to see it the other way round and used the example of an ant in your garden. It’s energy is needed and it has it’s purpose. Without that ant, it’s whole ecosystem would be completely different. When you think about it like that, you put things in to perspective and recognise that without that dot, the whole universe would look completely different. You can disappear in to insignificance and merge in to the world around you, but it’s you that makes it what it is. Without you, it would be completely different. The people around you would be completely different.

What we do for ourselves is key. I think sometimes as Lightworkers we feel that we are carrying a collective burden but it’s not necessary. You are connected and your vibration impacts the collective vibration. This is why with so many people waking up and exploring spirituality, we feel collectively a feeling of hope, rebirth and renewal.

It takes time for these things to integrate and work themselves through our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual parts. This is why we keep working on ourselves. The more we strengthen ourselves spiritually, the more we strengthen the collective energy body of the planet. That meditation you do in the morning, that yoga session, that prayer, that Reiki healing, that journalling, that grounding – all those things you are doing for yourself are having a knock on ripple effect in strengthening the core energy body of this planet and Mother Earth is saying thank you because it’s much needed.

We are all in this together. Let’s not forget that. We have our own journey and sharing that is what provides hope for others. Lifting ourselves inspires others to lift themselves.

YOU matter and your vibration matters. Anything you can do to help yourself is inadvertently helping to raise the vibration of this planet. None of us are insignificant. We all have something to give and we are powerful as individuals and even more powerful as a collective.

Do for yourself. Do for others. I think that’s the message this week. If you need help with any of the themes covered in this update, please get in touch.

Until next time, keep vibing high!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 16 – Flexible Strength

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a flexible strength that can adapt to any situation and yet remain rooted in, and moving toward, the purpose of your life.”

This pathway came at just the right time for me to integrate many of the lessons that I am learning on this journey. I’ve talked before about distraction and how sometimes being an empath can mean that you get absorbed and pulled in to everyone else’s stuff. We can feel resentful because our full focus is not on our own mission.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been consciously looking at how I get pulled away and distracted and I’ve made a lot of changes. The first thing that I want to say is thank you to all the true friends that have understood that I’ve needed me and my work to come first. It’s appreciated more than you know.

One of aspects of this pathway is developing strength from the way that we look at the past. For those of you that know me, you’ll know I do a lot of work with the shadow aspect. The shadow is all about looking at all the things that you’re not so comfortable with and I feel that it’s a way of breaking down the ego.

The pathway talks about forgetting the past and just keeping going. I find this really interesting and I don’t take that literally. I think there is much to be gained by understanding that you can’t just put your past in a box and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Part of shadow work is to revisit some of the more uncomfortable parts and to work through them and with them in a way that allows us to learn more about who we are. This process helps us to accept parts of ourselves that we may have disowned because of shame or anger at the way we behaved. Learning love and compassion for yourself means that you have to go in and be able to accept all of this to be whole.

We all have parts of ourselves that we don’t care to name and shame because it is deeply troubling. These parts usually are distinguished as the judgements we make about others. It’s hard to accept that that’s ourselves being reflected back at us. I know when I first started working with my shadow aspects, it sent me in to deep despair and it was so easy to let those things bring me down. That was because I didn’t fully own them and I hadn’t healed from them and so they still had a lot of power of me as a person.

It is easy when we face adversity to act out old shadows. Sometimes it is that inner child surfacing and being able to face yourself takes courage. It means being able to feel pain, shame, anger, fear and know that it has a place within you along with everything else. The spiritual journey isn’t all love and light and rainbows and unicorns! There are times when it is deeply uncomfortable getting to the truth. And the truth isn’t always fashionable enough to wear so we wear a mask instead. All of this starts to become apparent as you work with the shadow. It takes courage and being human, sometimes my courage fails but I think even approaching your shadow is a good start.

I do this because I want to be authentically myself. Sometimes authenticity can get lost in politeness and people pleasing. You’ll notice how that feels in yourself and I know that I don’t like it. I don’t like letting people down but when it’s a choice between that and letting myself down, I’ve learnt that it’s not always easy to choose me. It’s something that will take time to master and there’s a lot to work through.

There is darkness within all of us but part of our inner work is to face it and begin the alchemical process of transmuting it and learning to shine light on it so that it becomes something more than just a painful memory. From this process, we develop the flexible strength that this pathway is teaching us about. A person is more than the sum of their parts. When we identify all the parts, we become that something more. This is what I’m talking about. It isn’t the easiest thing to name those parts and become that something more.

When you know yourself, you are truly resilient in the face of adversity. When you are reluctant to face all aspects of yourself, you’re likely to be triggered. I think it always goes, “Trigger first, lesson later!” We need time to ponder and reflect and life is amazing in the way that it presents the lessons to us on a plate. Each trigger is an opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes it starts with a bitch and a vent, but as you work through it, you realise that you need to own that judgement that you’ve made because it’s showing you who you are. When you’re at peace with it, you’ll experience it without being triggered. This is true strength.

There’s “who we like to think we are” versus “who we actually are” and the ego likes to hold on to it’s ideas about our identity and how we define ourselves. We have deeply set ideas, some so deep set that we’ve yet to see them.

There’s always more to do in breaking down the ego and it can sometimes feel like you’re treading water and that you’ll never be free of it. Even that is an acceptance in itself. You are in the actual process when you acknowledge it and try to make peace with it. It always feels better to me to acknowledge that I am on my way to something. It’s the process that’s more important than the outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we realise that it’s too big. When we focus on the process, we see that we’re taking steps towards something. A step in the direction you’re choosing feels better than perfection.

It’s always interesting to say the least working with the shadow aspect. We start to discover just how many lies we have told ourselves – more than we care to admit. It’s a level of honesty that you can’t really be ready for when it hits you. It makes sense to do it though because you arrive at a truer version of yourself than the one you are now. Constantly moving and evolving to get to the truth of who you are is meaningful work and it grows you.

And once you start on the quest for truth, you can’t stop!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 20th November, 2018

Well there’s definitely been a massive shift in the ascension energy since Venus went direct on the 16th November. The thing that I’ve noticed is that all those lessons that we’ve learnt when it comes to relationships are at the forefront of our minds. There is a steely determination in the air and the vibe is centred about not going back to our old ways.

With this energy shift, there have been physical symptoms. For me, the amount of sleep I am needing has increased! The rest is an important part of any energy shift because our soul energy moves a lot faster than our physical mind and body does. We need to physically catch up and as we process, it can make our minds and bodies feel tired.

One thing that I feel strongly is to understand that everyone’s pace is different. I do however get the sense that once we have caught up (however long this takes) the energy will speed up and you’ll find yourself really getting to grips with what needs doing and following through on things that have been sitting for a while.

With this energy, there’s definitely a sense of sifting through and prioritising. I know that this is the energy because it isn’t a process that comes naturally to me. I feel a deep need to really connect in solitude and actually that’s guiding me to what the priorities are at any given time.

The energy is magical at the moment. So many signs and synchronicities. It feels like it has to be this way to get us to believe in the magic again! The energies have been so heavy over the past few months that this is much needed relief for us all.

It’s uplifting even if it making us feel sleepy! I’ve found so much more joy and laughter since the shift happened and this lightness brings with it a renewed hope and optimism.

It really is a magical time and a brilliant time to get things in motion. I know that Mercury is retrograde but I feel that it’s time to plan and put together the vision for the future. It feels like we have moved on from so much after Venus shifted and it has given much needed clarity.

Re-evaluating relationships was the focus of Venus retrograde and it’s beautiful how the lessons learnt are resulting in the way that we approach anything new. There is something cautious and protective in the energy, but at the same time it isn’t coming from a place of fear. It’s coming from heightened intuition and the resistance to learning lessons seems to be subsiding.

There is an openness to this energy and a willingness to welcome whatever emotions are coming to visit. It’s an expansive space and its fast paced. There is a lot of movement and almost like a feeling of whizzing through the air at times.

With Mercury Retrograde, it’s important to pay attention to the details for us to properly harness the energy. If you’re anything like me, you’ll get carried and not take account for the small print! I have to keep reminding myself. Checking in is important and remember not to go too fast with this because there is the potential for burnout.

It is reassuring to know that all is coming to fruition but the message that’s coming through really strongly is that we need to take everything at our own pace. You can’t swallow the entire ocean. You can only take a sip at a time. This energy is setting the tone for what’s to come and so on a practical level, now is the time to think about what you’d like to introduce in to your routine. Whether it’s new ways of thinking, new habits, structure, discipline. This will all be made easier because of the energy that we are in.

The Universe is supporting us to get to where we need to go. Most of the time, it can feel like the Universe is throwing us a curve ball and teaching us the lessons but this energy is lovely because it feels supportive, reassuring and energising in a way that I’ve not experienced to this extent before.

Take advantage of it! Also know that what’s meant for you is on it’s way and regardless of whether you consciously or subconsciously try to sabotage it, it’s all coming for you anyway. You’ll learn what you need to learn through the process but that which you desire is the thing to keep in mind.

Learn to become obsessed with visualising what you’d like this energy to bring you and watch as the Universe meets you and supports you to achieve and realise it. It’s a beautiful feeling to be able to believe in the magic again and I’m really loving what’s happening right now.

Remember when you feel the magic, you resonate that vibration and that vibration has an impact on others. The more you can harness that feeling, the more you are contributing to raising the vibration on this planet. We are all doing that. Even something as simple as being in a good mood or sending out good vibes makes a difference.

I hope you’re making the most of it! I’ve cracked on with more videos as a result of this little boost so if you’d like to take a look CLICK HERE! Get in touch if you’d like to share how you’re feeling about the future!

Until next time,

Love Hafsa

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Being an “Old Soul”

Pathway 15 – Al-Muqaddim – Preparing the way

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to acknowledge the part of your being that feels “oldest,” and prepare the way for power to flow through your life.”

So this is the pathway that I have been exploring and it started with a healing transmission that I did at the beginning of November which started a profound shift for me in terms of accessing the oldest parts of my being.

Power is an interesting concept, particularly for me. Since I began on this journey, everything has been about stepping in to my power and continuously I’m finding newer ways to do this. I had some funny ideas about power when I first started on this journey, but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to see it as a positive force in my life.

The pathway really is about delving in to who we are. Our souls were created long before our bodies were and so that part of us has lived and acquired a great deal of wisdom.

One of the things I noticed as soon as I started work with this pathway was the number of references made in relation to me being an “old soul.” The first time I heard that phrase I must have been about 17 and I’d sneaked away to London for the day. I went to Camden Market and was mooching around. I met this guy who looked like an old sage and he was full of love and life. I can still see his face. We ended up chatting for a long while. He caught sight of the palm of my hand and asked if he could have a look. I felt a bit hesitant but I agreed. He told me I was a very old soul but it wouldn’t be later in life until I realised what that meant. I’d completely forgotten about this experience and now that I’m writing about it, it brings it all back for me.

The story came back to me because I’ve only just realised that what he set in motion has resulted in this here today and I believe he knew exactly what he was doing. In this work, I am fortunate enough to be deliberately and consciously setting in motion change for those I work with.

It made me look at how I work with people and what I’m able to access. The pathway drew me to connect even deeper within myself. We spend life trying to define who we are in this world when really who we are sits within our soul. Once we start connecting to that deeper sense, everything in life starts to move around us for us to be able to fully understand and return to that original soul self.

The pathway is about returning back to our original image and this journey here in this world is what creates the means for us to do this. Life teaches us the nature of who we really are on one level. I’m talking about going beyond that. I’m talking about being from a place that you can’t access in a physical way.

For those of you who have read previous blogs, you’ll know that I talk about “going home” and by that I mean that place where we came from that’s before this world or any other world. It always seemed separate from me until I started to understand how to channel it in this world. I have more of a sense of belonging now that I ever have.

The adventure with this pathway was to learn how to go deeper within and I have found that connecting with this idea that I have been this energy for much longer than the 39 years here on earth has had a profound shift in my energy. I understand power on a much deeper level and it really is having an impact on the way I’m choosing to live.

The whole world looks different to me as a result. I’ve always been seeking to find my place here on Earth and each time I find it, I find new levels of understanding it. It’s not possible, I don’t think, to understand your place here unless you also understand where your soul has been.

I’m blessed to be an old soul and it really is becoming a distinct part of who I am. It gives me a uniqueness as a person. It has also made me curious enough to delve deeper. All of this enquiry is for a reason – this I know for certain. Synchronistically with this pathway, I’ve discovered aspects of my ancestry that have helped me to understand my spiritual gifts on a much deeper level. When healing is literally in your blood, you have no choice but to accept that’s who you are. It’s beautiful and it’s taken my sense of belonging to another level which is great for me and for the world!

I think the most amazing aspect of this pathway though is allowing yourself to open up and letting the power of YOU flow through. The more you access this part of yourself, the more you are preparing the way for what’s to come next. One of the beautiful things about this pathway is that it opens you up to wonder. I always talk about potential and fulfilling that potential but this is on a whole other level. It’s like you’ve got back up and support and everything you need. It’s like you are that potential in every moment.

With this pathway being so profound and deep, I’m actually having a challenging time in articulating how it’s making me feel. Suffice to say though that like all the other ways, it is changing me for the better. The closest phrase to describe how I feel is that “I am really coming into my own.” That sort of captures it.

The feelings you get when you’re accessing this are out of this world. Phenomenal. I wish I could tell you how or what to do to get there because everyone needs to feel this. I’m still integrating and working that out but when I have that in a practical form, I will share it. There is a sense of pride that comes from knowing yourself in this way. It isn’t an ego thing, simply a sense of contentment and being sure about who you are. This may not make much sense but if you know, you know.

There is a whole other world and worlds within worlds to discover. Such is the beauty of connecting to yourself, your power, your lineage, your ancestry, and the source of all that power.

“This is love.

To fly toward a secret sky,

to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.

First to let go of life.

Finally, to take a step without feet.”

Rumi

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Maintaining and nourishing yourself

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a very steady yet powerful state of awareness in your being that maintains and nourishes you and others.”

This is the pathway that I’ve been reflecting on this past week and it is one that presents plenty of challenges for me. Embodying a steady state is something that I have been working on for as far as I can remember. For me, there is a juxtaposition here with being a free spirit.

This pathway requires pulling yourself inwards whilst you experience life. Being a free spirit, it’s easy for my heart to be called elsewhere. I want to talk about this because for me it is one the most challenging aspects of who I am as a person. This is where the conflict lies and I’m noticing that it is how my power escapes sometimes.

I know I have this immense reservoir of love within me and the capacity to nourish and give to others. This pathway takes me further in to using this source to help maintain myself and it is this very thing that I have been trying to do for a long time. This pathway has helped me to uncover a whole other level and given me an awareness and perspective that goes deeper.

For those of us that are empathic, it’s very easy to relegate our own needs in order to serve others. We think that this is why we came here – to serve. That’s part of it but not the whole of it.

This pathway really made me look at the way I give and the expectations that I have created from others around me. When I began to pull it back and go within, what struck me is how very little I have given myself. With a reservoir so large, it’s almost as if I think can survive on a lot less from the pot so rather than taking from it, I put in to it. This brings up feelings of guilt and feeling selfish. At the same time, I look around me and notice that perhaps I feel this more because of the belief that I came here to serve. There are deep set emotions here about worthiness attached to this and whether I deserve to take when I can give so much. It became obvious to me that there was very little balance in my life when it came to this.

It’s been a really challenging week and working with this pathway has actually made me feel really sad. I have to be raw and honest about how I feel. That’s what this space is for and it needs to be expressed.

The pathway also reminds me that I must not overextend myself. This is what occurred to me and I can see clearly where I am doing this. I can blame being an empath to some extent but the truth of it is that I have plenty of fleeting whims and distractions all created by my ego to prevent me from embodying this state. I can see that very clearly. I realised that I can’t hide behind anything anymore. Especially not when it has been shown to me this clearly. When you realise how little you have given yourself, it brings up anger and resentment and I’ve had to spend a lot of time working with this. I’ve allowed this and I forgive myself. I can change and that is what I am doing. Easy statements to make but if you’ve ever gone through this, you’ll know the raw emotion it brings up.

This idea of sacrifice comes with this type work and it’s something that keeps coming up for me to clear away. The idea that being in service should be at the expense of your own self simply isn’t true. I am entitled to a life just like everyone else. There’s a paradox here as the “service” is actually what I have chosen to do. It’s my own path I’m creating so it is as much for me as it is for humanity. The ego makes you choose one or the other and we are conditioned to believe that choosing service to others is the better thing to do. In actual fact, we can have both but it takes a lot of unlearning which I am still learning to do.

When I call the ego out on this, the contradictions are so very obvious. There is so much pain in saying goodbye to old ways of being. I’ve always tried to be conscious of what my ego is doing and exploring the pathways has brought up a lot of wounds that need to be healed within myself.

It isn’t easy getting the balance within yourself between serving others and serving yourself. We are brought up with conditioning that tells us that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught a linear way of thinking that suggests that if we think about ourselves first, it means that we don’t care about others. It’s difficult to shift to a way of thinking that enables you to be equal to others and there’s a perception that to consider yourself equal equates to being egotistical. It gets really complicated because you can think this logically in your head but when the feelings of guilt show themselves, your heart gets pulled straight back. This is what I’m grappling with.

I’m always banging on about self-worth and I’m a work in progress but what I am learning here has come at a critical time for me. My life is interesting because of the demanding nature of my work. I get phone calls and text messages all the time asking me all sorts of things. I’ve always felt the need to answer and help and I don’t regret helping. I do sometimes resent the demands and that’s me being really honest. I take full responsibility for this now where in the past I’d have blamed others. I’ve created and met these expectations without even thinking about it and it’s difficult to undo without experiencing emotional turmoil. Meeting demands is what I’ve been looking at taking a step back from because there is a line where my work ends and I begin and that can get blurred very easily. Even though boundaries have been set, a plea for help is a plea for help and my heart isn’t one that can ignore it easily. So it’s been an emotional time because for each time that has happened, I’ve had to ask myself who I am putting first. I’m learning to deal with the emotion that comes with it and I can tell you it isn’t easy but it is necessary. This is a spiritual lesson that needs to be learned.

A strong feeling of discomfort comes from taking a step back. It’s like going against what your heart is telling you when you don’t reply to a plea for help but I had to explore this feeling for myself. It feels as if people are relying on me. It feels that there is an urgency for them that I am ignoring and that somehow makes me a bad person. Again, this linear way of thinking is one I’m learning to undo because a lot of that conditioning simply isn’t true.

What I have realised with this pathway is that I go deep and I do have a lot to give. My priority has become to maintain that within myself. Embodying a steady state of awareness and power is important but I didn’t realise how important it was for maintaining and nourishing myself. I thought I was doing that and I know now that I am not doing enough of it. The reason for this is the raw emotion, the guilt, the anger, the feeling selfish that I’m still learning to overcome. And all this just to feel equal to others! It’s mind blowing because I thought I was overcoming myself in terms of self-worth but there’s always more I need to be shown and more I need to do.

It’s interesting because although I do take a lot of time for myself and I switch off when I have to, I’ve developed some sticky habits when it comes to work. It’s the belief that work overrides everything because of it’s nature. It doesn’t though. What overrides everything is my state of being and my ability to maintain and nourish myself and I’m starting to look at that as often as I can in response to meeting the worlds demands on me. I’m taking it one moment at a time and seeing how it feels to choose me.

Just when you think you’ve got the self-worth thing down, the universe throws you a massive curve ball. With things changing as rapidly as they are, this is a very valuable lesson that the universe is giving me. I’ve noticed how quickly it can become about everything else. I’ve noticed how my free spirit slips away under the mask of empathy.

Old beliefs and old habits are dying hard. I’m working hard on taking the shame out of “I’m putting myself first.” It’s one I think a lot of us can relate to. If nice people finish last, I’m not ok with that and so I’m determined to prove that wrong.

I am just as important as everyone else and I’m determined not to forget it!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 13 – Ar-Rauf – Healing Wings

So after quite a long break, I decided today to pick back up on the pathways again because it felt like I needed to reconnect. The last few months have been a time for extreme expansion and inner healing for me and so I caught this pathway and found myself working through it. It’s always as if this book knows exactly what is needed and this is the beauty of life. If you seek answers, you’ll find them. Sometimes, it isn’t the answer we were looking for. Sometimes it is the truth and we find that hard to bear, but nevertheless it is an answer.

This pathway is about reconnecting your heart to Unity. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we do not exist in isolation from others. I’ve always been quite a solitary person. I’ve also been a very strong person and my story always goes, “I don’t need anyone.”

The one thing I have learnt from my story is that when you give off the vibe that you don’t need anyone, you attract people that couldn’t care less about you. Have a think about that one. I know I did.

Receiving help and healing from others is one of the hardest things that I have had to learn. I am still learning it if I’m really honest.

This pathway for me showed me what that was all about. The last few months for me have been a struggle to stay in balance. When the ego falls away, we feel lost. When all our beliefs are challenged, we question who we are. When we feel lost, we need help and coming in to balance means that we need to connect on three deep levels.

Firstly we need to connect with Divine Source to truly be able to see the world through Creator’s eyes. We need to connect deep within ourselves to discover our desires and joy. We also need to connect ourselves with everything that is around us because like I said, we do not exist in isolation.

Without going in to too much detail, I’ve had experiences over the last few months that have really challenged me on all three levels and the expansion and awareness has changed me. For me this pathway is about recognising the struggle that we have when we become disconnected.

We think we have everything sussed and sorted and then along comes someone or something that brings out a whole lot more in you that needs to be healed. Someone or something that makes you question what you believe in. Someone or something that makes you admit what you really want isn’t in alignment with your story. Someone or something that allows you to open up and receive help and healing.

It is opening on a deep level and often these things are unexpected and meant to throw you off balance. All UNLEARNING is learning and part of the soul’s journey is to disconnect to be able to reconnect. We can arrive in a comfort zone with our spirituality unless we continuously challenge what we hold to be true. That in itself brings us to a better understanding of the Divine, of ourselves and of the world around us.

This separation between ourselves and Creator/ourselves/our world is something I want to touch on because for a lot of empaths like me, we have this yearning for home. We don’t know where home is but we have always had this longing and this deep sadness because we feel separated from it. Those of you who know, will know.

This pathway pointed to something quite poignant for me. It led me to explore all the times that I had tried to heal the separation within myself. The separation and disconnectedness can be healed through this idea that we are part of Unity. That is home.

Being spiritual isn’t simply about a set of ideals and beliefs. It’s about connecting on the three levels that I have mentioned. It is about striving to achieve that balance within yourself. It’s about repairing all the connections and this for me is the deepest kind of healing.

Sometimes we are shown through trauma and experience. Sometimes we are shown by another person who has entered our lives to teach us this very lesson. All I know is that you need to dig deep and challenge what you think you already know about yourself. For me, it was reminding myself that I also need help.

It is when I need help, comfort, affection that I am at my most vulnerable because it challenges my story. I’m admitting this here and now and I’m choosing to see this as a strength. Over the last few months, I’ve seen what compassion really is from people I would not have expected it from and it’s taken me to new depths in the way I operate in the world.

I’ve learnt what it means to receive compassion and real love and to be able to express it for another. I’ve learnt that I am absolutely safe being vulnerable because I trust that Divine is always looking out for me. I’ve learnt that when I am out of balance, I need to heal the separation within myself.

This pathway took me to a whole new level of opening within myself. I thought my heart was open and I’ve learnt that even though it is open, it can open so much wider.

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 12th October 2018

WOWZERS! It’s time for another ascension energy update. I feel like it’s been a while and I can only apologise that I have not been writing as much but here I am and better late than never!

This new moon has seriously had us all exhausted! The energies have been so intense and I for one have been feeling it physically. It’s like having sleepy syndrome and there hasn’t been much time for me to sleep.

The healing room has seen some massive breakthroughs over the last week or so and I think this is the theme for October. It is officially breakthrough month on all levels.

It feels like we are all being asked to step and challenge ourselves to transition in to our next phase of ascension. The energy has been making us feel very tired with this feeling of “how long can I keep going?” It feels like burnout but it really isn’t. There is a need to push beyond this veil and there is a definite need to step up.

This week there will be something that happens that makes you feel certain that it’s time to step up. You’ll be overwhelmed with fear but honestly just remember what I’m telling you and roll your sleeves up and fight for what you want.

As lightworkers, we really suffer from procrastination and we can find reasons not to stretch ourselves. This is the time. It has always been the time. We talk about preparing ourselves quite a lot and intuitively knowing when we are ready.

The truth of the matter is this.

Your entire life has led you to this moment. You are ready. Hell you were born ready and it’s about time you realise it.

I’m in the headspace now where I have to give myself the Rocky speech every day and HURR myself on to keep going and I can feel that we are all breaking through. It may be next new moon when situations are resolved but if there’s a time to take action, it is now. This moment is defined by all previous moments and if it’s come in to your head, you are ready for it.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you can see progress. Feel it. Feel that the Universe is at work on your behalf. Set your intentions because energy follows intent.

The most important thing though is to cut out distractions. It’s all about you now.

Make this week a good one because it’s in your power to do so!

My next stage is to begin getting more active on my visual platforms as that is the thing that I’m feeling needs to be done so watch this space!!

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