Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 5th May, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for the week. This week we’re on new moon energy and planets in retrograde – Saturn in particular bringing the fire!

What the f*** just happened there? I thought I’d do my update a couple of days earlier because since yesterday, there’s been a remarkably noticeable shift in the energy. That fire though…!

So the energies were relatively calm yesterday up until late afternoon and then it felt like an almighty drop in the signal. Sudden fatigue, ears ringing and the kind of tiredness that just makes you drop. I had to stop what I was doing and take a moment. This hasn’t happened in a good while so I’m curious.

Something is definitely going on. Change feels like it’s on the horizon. Looking around to see what I could find, there’s plenty on Saturn being retrograde and clearing karmic patterns. It was like BOOM!

I went in to meditation to tune in to what’s going on. There definitely feels like we’re going to have to keep balancing and re-balancing through these energies. I’ve read a lot about May bringing all the good stuff but I always think it’s good to know that you might have to go through some shit to get there.

The rest of yesterday became a thunderstorm and a whole host of turbulent emotions. There really is a sense of what’s acceptable to you and what’s not. What do you stand for? Are you going to articulate it? Do you even need to explain yourself?

There’s something pushing us to stand our ground and be a lot more discerning about what we tolerate from others. We can deal with it or we can walk away. I get this mental image of a movie scene – that shot where the heroine is walking away calmly with the massive fireball explosion in the background.

That image captures it all for me yesterday. We don’t know where she’s walking to. All we know is that she’s walking away from it. There’s little softness to this energy and so if you’re not ready for it, it’ll catch you by surprise. I think May is going to be full of surprises.

There’s a sense of being at war with ourselves. My sense is that we’re going to see this reflected in our outer world, in politics and played out on the global stage.

There’s a strength to this energy that’s different though. It isn’t just about blowing things up and walking away. If only life was that simple! There’s a hardiness that can be felt and it comes to strengthen us spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. Although there is a harsh finality to it and I think a lot of us will be feeling this, there’s also a sense of it being needed.

Off the back of that, we learn tough love and the toughest love is when we apply it to ourselves. Where we have become too passive, things are about to change. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather make my own changes than have them imposed upon me.

I think the soul searching phase is over and it really is about asking for the Universe to “Bring It On” in the nicest possible way. There’s internal conflict on the one hand we’re being tentative when on the other hand we want to go all guns blazing. I think we all have different approaches and that’s the beauty of it. I’m in the tentative phase personally but that’s changing rapidly. I think the key is discernment and knowing yourself enough to know where your risk level lies. I certainly feel a sense of “All In” and single minded focus.

However you choose to tackle what life throws at you, there isn’t a right or wrong way. It very much depends on you and the experiences that you’ve had. Just don’t be surprised if you find yourself doing a complete 360 in the way that you do things. You might find your hand is forced and it’s only by cracking a nut you get to taste it’s sweet fruit.

Hold on to your hats people and get ready for the ride! It’s time to up-level, upgrade and up the ante.

I don’t know about you but I kinda love when things get disrupted in this way so I’m really excited about all this nut cracking. I feel it’s about time we changed up again. This isn’t going to be subtle. It’s going to be full on and it’s going to be pushy energy. There’s nothing to be afraid of…Game Face on!

Until next time….

Keep vibing high,

Love Hafsa

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 18 – Al-Ghani – Tending Your Garden

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel your heart as a garden in which everything you need is growing. See yourself living in this garden.”

It has been a while since I wrote on another pathway. With this one, I’ve been exploring and exploring and now it feels like the right time to write. One thing I will say is that I thought I’d do a pathway every couple of weeks – that was the plan but they don’t work in a linear way. It’s always the way that I choose one and it becomes the theme for my inner work and observation. Rather than rushing, it feels much better to explore in my own time and share when there is real wisdom that emerges. That makes it more meaningful for you and for me.

The pathway starts with talking about what happens when the heart begins to expand and seeing ourselves in others. This pathway continues to teach me the good, the bad and the ugly of who I am and this is through what I see in others.

I feel like I’ve gone through one of the biggest and deepest expansions spiritually over the last few months. I’ve had external help to guide and push me over my comfort zones and that has been amazing. It really reinforces that we can’t do everything ourselves. I’ve also been connecting more with my guides in the etheric realms and receiving deeper wisdom and guidance. I’ve been working a great deal with my power centres – the solar plexus and the sacral.

One of the biggest learnings I’ve had is understanding my place in the whole grand scheme of things, my place in the Universe. If we are all dots that are connected, I’m really starting to see that I am one of those dots and the connections that I have to the other dots and the ripples I send out by working on myself and sharing my wisdom. It takes this idea of seeing all beings as yourself to a whole other level and it’s really helped to me feel supported with what I do. Understanding that my story is part of an even bigger story and without my character, the story would change. It simply wouldn’t be the same.

Another aspect of the pathway talks about the connection between action and the vision that you have. For a long while, I’ve had a vision but for one reason or another, I just wasn’t moving very much. Deep down there plenty of fears of where it would take me. This extended the way I looked at the good, bad and ugly within myself. I realised that I was limiting myself and really not seeing the possibilities. Sometimes taking action is the thing that leads to even deeper growth. We can learn and teach wisdom but to live that wisdom enables your heart to grow. We can be authentic but we are always finding the masks and learning to continuously uncover even more authentic parts of ourselves. I did have to stop and think about this seriously and that made me realise just how much I was taking for granted. When you uncover all this wisdom, you realising that you’re not even sharing a fraction of what’s in there. Once you begin, things start to change and grow.

Tending your garden is one thing and I feel that I have planted so many seeds. With watering and nurturing, I’m beginning to see these seeds grow. I find myself changing yet paradoxically at the same time becoming more myself than I have ever been. When that seed starts to sprout a few leaves, you get excited and you know that there’s flowers to come and it’ll be glorious and beautiful. It’s being grateful that By God’s grace, the seeds we plant grow.

The pathway uses the example of the garden of life. We plant everything that we need in our life and plenty of other things that we don’t need. This garden is also a metaphor for the heart. The heart is where the truth sits. Part of the process is weeding out what’s not needed or what’s taking up space preventing other things from growing. There are plenty of distractions and reasons not to do things and the more I think and ponder, the more I procrastinate. I decided it was time to pull these weeds out and call them out. It involved a lot of harsh truths but at the end of the day, they’re blocking my sunshine. It doesn’t matter how much you water and nurture yourself, without the sunshine you’ll wither. I liken this to what I’ve been through. I’d found my inner light but I was afraid of shining and now I really am facing that in a big way, things are really starting to change.

It’s only been a couple of months, but I am really not who I used to be. I feel myself shining, confident and bursting with colour. It makes the old me look like a dull hum in comparison. Now I’m conducting a whole orchestra making magical, harmonious sound frequencies. This is the power of tending your garden. This is the power of tending to your own heart.

I have found that even being open, warm and loving as a person, I was still quite guarded and I had the fear of trusting. When we look at the garden of our heart, we also look at the boundaries. Do we want to limit how big our garden gets? That’s something that I was not even conscious I was doing and bringing it to light has really helped me to make a shift. With this, belief is also key. It’s fine to say “I’m not going to limit myself” but it’s an even deeper shift when you say, “I’m willing to accept the reality that all things are possible for me.” We can protect ourselves as much as we want to but at the end of the day if we don’t believe that we are protected by a Source greater than ourselves, we form barriers to love and limitations to growth. There is an even greater plan for me than what I can imagine for myself. The possibility of that being true brings infinite other possibilities and the beautiful part is not being afraid of those possibilities anymore.

 “Another message of this pathway is that everything need not be done in the spotlight. Let the One veil you (another type of enclosure) and keep your secrets as you get on with your purpose in life.”

This is apt and it’s kind of been happening behind the scenes. I’ve been working on the business, in the business and on myself in this way. It’s only now I feel like I’m beginning to consolidate and share.

Deep changes and even deeper transformation. I really feel like the adventure has officially begun!

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update, 22nd April, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for this week and wow what a week it’s been. The energies have been ever so kind to us this week.

The big theme in the healing room is Rebirth, synchronistically with Easter. There has been a great deal of tension of late. A lot of chaos and then making sense of the chaos.

The pieces are finally landing. Not with a big bump but there is definitely a sense of things beginning to fall in to place. This makes us realise just how much chaos is actually an essential part of the change process. The pushy energy has subsided and we’re getting a warm, calm glow at the moment.

There are still things that feel like they’re not completely resolved but even that feels like it will iron itself out. The pieces of the puzzle are beginning to fit together and it’s as if we can just about see the picture taking shape. It still looks a little blurry but the most challenging part of it is definitely over.

This is a time for refinement and fine tuning. It’s a time for thinking about the fluorishes that we would like to add and all the bonuses we’d like. It feels like an awesome time for manifesting.

A good friend of mine always says, “Speak it in to existence” and with these energies, it’s definitely a time to visualise what you want and verbalise that to those around you that you can share it with. There is definitely a great deal more clarity than there was last week.

We are learning that it’s perfectly ok to have the meltdown – officially giving yourself permission with the knowing that you’ll just pick yourself up and keep going. That feels much easier with these lighter energies. It doesn’t feel as intense as it did 3 weeks ago.

A time of good fortune and abundance is on the horizon but don’t rest on your laurels just because it feels calmer. If you can harness this energy and channel it towards what you want, it’ll feel like you’re riding the crest of a wave.

There really is magic in the air!

Until next time,

Love and Blessings,

Hafsa

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 17 – Al-Matin – Step by Step Persistence

There’s some pathways you come across where you know that there’s a life lesson involved and there’s pathways that show you just how far you’ve come. This was a bit of both for me.

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to connect with the sacred qualities of practicality and deliberation, of small steps taken over a long period of time.”

I know there’s been a massive gap between the last pathway and this one and that’s because there has been a lot of learning and integration that has taken place in the time in between.

In the last pathway I talked a lot about shadow work and learning to take responsibility for the parts of yourself that are difficult to own. I feel that this pathway has taken me in a lot deeper and shown me how shadows work on a whole new level.

The pathway talks about step by step persistence. It says, “Love also demands this type of persistence, especially when a relationship has begun to mature beyond attraction, in to something deeper.”

This is what I’ve been exploring on a number of levels within myself since I last posted on my journey with the pathways. Self-love is something that I’ve been learning to cultivate for a long time and one of the biggest realisations was just how much deeper I needed to go with this.

I feel like my relationship with myself and also with my work has reached that level of maturity that the pathway talks about. I relate it to my own journey. When I first discovered energy healing, it led me to create an idea of who I wanted to be and the work I wanted to do. As I travelled on this path, I started becoming that woman I always saw myself to be and doing the work I wanted to do. I saw myself making the difference I wanted to make and I am achieving that.

I look upon that now as the honeymoon period when I started to fall in love with myself, or at least this idea of who I wanted to be. I put all my effort and energy in to pursuing this dream. I worked hard to become that person and find what needed to be healed.

As my relationship with myself and the love I have cultivated for myself and my work starts to mature and deepen, I find that there are challenges and it doesn’t get easier. The more we uncover about ourselves, the more we are challenged to love our imperfections. The more we are challenged, the deeper in to ourselves it takes us.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been paying attention to what’s happening in my life. I’m observing what I’m doing and saying. I’m observing what other people are doing and saying and I am learning a great deal. To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.

I find I’m not the woman I fell in love with. I’m not willing to be defined that way or any way but I’m finding I love myself anyway. Who I am, just like any long term relationship, has morphed and changed. It just is what it is and doesn’t need defining anymore. When that happens, that relationship really doesn’t look like what you thought it would. When you get to this place, you realise that kind of love takes strength. It takes persistence and courage. It takes a conscious decision that even though it isn’t what you thought it would be, you’re choosing to love it anyway.

My path over the last few weeks has been a rollercoaster on a personal and emotional level. I’ve had some really tough challenges and I’ve had to really make a decision about how I feel about myself and what I’m going to do for myself out of love for myself. It’s meant shutting down for a while. It’s meant standing my ground. It’s meant not allowing anyone else’s opinion to cloud how I feel. It’s meant reaching in for my own truth. It’s meant expressing, sharing and really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

The detail of what I’m facing is irrelevant but suffice to say that there will always be people who try to bring you down. Some with their words and some with their actions. I say this because with the last pathway we talked about being responsible for ourselves and our projections. I’m also learning to discern my own truth and that means that rather than own everything, I’m recognising that people play out their own pain by throwing it at other people. This is what I mean when I say “To be able to watch without judging, that is a labour of love. To love without attachment, that is an art in itself.” I’m not willing to own someone else’s pain. I bless their journey but I know what’s mine and what’s not.

If you allow anything to cause doubt within yourself, you lose. When you love another, you trust them with your whole heart and you don’t doubt if they are true. When you love yourself, you must see it exactly the same way. I’ve learnt this and it’s unearthed a massive strength in me.

Persistence means that you have to fight for yourself. As an empath, I’m great at fighting for others but maybe not so good at fighting for myself. One of things that this pathway has shown me is just how much I love myself and love my work. When push comes to shove, if my ability to do my work is threatened, I will fight to the death and I will win. Nothing is going to bring me down and each time it tries to take me down, I come back a hell of a lot stronger. That’s because I know what I bring to this world is important. I’m fighting for me but I’m also fighting for all of those people who benefit from what I do.

I think the most beautiful thing that’s come alive for me is this fire that I know I’ve always had in me. I think as you reach in to spirituality, you almost believe that you need to put that fire out for the sake of love and light. That fire is courage in adversity. That fire is fighting for what you believe in. That fire is a relentless amount of self-assuredness. That fire must never be diluted, especially for those that are making a difference in this world.

None of this comes without persistence. None of this comes without a fight. None of this comes without being challenged. For me, I didn’t realise it but this is what I’ve been building step by step. I couldn’t see it at the time, but everything leads you to the moment where you’re at right now. Perhaps you need to be challenged for you to find your strength? Perhaps you need the darkness to come at you for you to overcome it?

I believe that this is all the alchemy of the Universe at work. Every action is a small step towards something greater. I sometimes forget there’s a bigger picture and get bogged down in the detail of it all but I’m human. It sometimes takes adversity to show you just how far you have travelled.

I take great strength from this pathway. It’s a long journey full of twists and turns, full of challenges but look how beautiful it can be. It’s designed to help you find yourself and if you can see that, you’ll keep at it.

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 18th February, 2019

This is your ascension energy update for this week and oh my does it feel like the ground is moving from under our feet! Before I begin this update, I just want to say that my updates are NOT astrological. They’re purely based on tuning in to the frequencies. I include what I know may be happening with the moon and planets if it’s relevant. Mostly, I’m sharing what I’m experiencing as well as collective themes that emerge from the healing room that are tied in to these themes.

I’ve not done an update for a while as I’ve been processing this very heavy energy that’s around. Those of you who follow my Facebook posts know that I’ve been keeping an eye on the Schumann Resonance. Check out this link: https://www.disclosurenews.it/en/schumann-resonance-today-update/

The spikes have been noticeable as the frequency rises and I’ve been feeling it all quite physically. It’s worth checking out if you’re feeling a bit odd and wondering what it is that’s setting you off!

Energy wise, as always, there’s a lot going on. Although the last few weeks have felt quite still and stagnant. There’s been a feeling of “nothing seems to be happening.” Hold on tight because the energy is taking us higher and higher.

There’s a full moon Tuesday 19th and the energy is building around that. It doesn’t feel as intense as previous moons. With full moon energy, usually the shit that needs to clear comes up and hits you square in the face. This moon has a gentler energy. It’s calmer and it feels like a real magnetic pull towards something bigger.

One of themes we’ve been exploring in the healing room has been growth. Growth happens on a number of levels. Emotional and spiritual growth is what I support people with. It’s been noticeable just how much people are starting to become aware of energy and it’s impact on daily life. I’ve been doing this kind of work for the last 5 years and I’m really seeing the landscape changing in terms of awareness and expansion on a spiritual level. Everyone knows about energy – regardless of whether they believe in it or not. It’s becoming a mainstream thing to talk about energy and that can only be a good thing.

This weeks energy is about expansion and I feel that really strongly. The thing to remember about expansion is that when it’s happening, the first thing we do is resist. This makes us contract (not expand) and there’s a certain amount of pressure that falls on us in order for us to get to a point where we burst forth from it. I’ve certainly been feeling this way over the last week or so. It’s tough to remember when you’re going through it that the time you feel pressure is the bit that’s going to make you grow and expand.

Times like these are perfect to show you what you’re made of!

Another theme in the healing room has been around asking for what you need. Whether that’s setting boundaries, asking for help or just being able to take time out. We seem to be learning some really big lessons around that. This week’s energy is asking us to choose wisely and to include ourselves in our choices.

We are inextricably linked to the past but we forget that we are also linked equally as strongly to our future. The present is where these timelines meet and that is something to be really conscious and aware of as we are manifesting our future. We can do this consciously or unconsciously but simply to be aware of it seems to be a big message from the universe.

I don’t know where you’re at but I seem to be doing a lot of watching. I’m observing myself. I’m observing others. I’m also finding that a lot of the questions I’m asking seem to be answered through this observation. I love this way of working because I’ll reach out to the Universe and say “show me.” This is even more awesome if you remember that you’ve asked because being human, we often forget and then when the shits hitting the fan, we wonder what hell we’ve unleashed! I’ve started getting in to more of a conscious habit with the words, “show me regardless of whether I like the truth or not” and then I let go. This is the critical bit because you really do have to accept what comes rather than influence the outcome!

The pull from the moon is a big one and there’s something very reassuring about this moon’s energy. I’m feeling a different vibration with this one. It’s almost like the energy of “home” wants to come in and sit with us. I like this feeling. For those of you who are on this path, you’ll know I’ve talked about this feeling before. This feeling of wanting to go home. I feel the energies of this place are with us. I can’t sense whether it is galactic star energy or whether the energy of the ancestors is coming through more strongly with this moon. It’s a nice feeling this glow though because either way, the message I’m getting is “You are not alone. There are many more out there like you.”

For me, this moon is significant as I turn 40 in a few days. They say life begins at 40 so perhaps I’m also feeling the energy of my own rebirth from this star flooded universe. Who knows?

If you need help with any of the themes in this post, please do get in touch.

Until next time….Love and Light,

Hafsa

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 30th November 2018

This is your ascension energy update for the week. It’s been a little messy since the full moon, hasn’t it?!

Many of us are finding that the lessons are coming in thick and fast and with Mercury has been in retrograde since November 16th. It goes direct around the time of the new moon on the 7th December and there’s refreshing changes on the way. Well that’s the least we can hope for.

Expect between now and then to be messy. There is much coming up to heal and one of the things that will really hit you is that one same lesson that you’ve still not learnt. I know I’m feeling it in many areas of my life at the moment and it really is time to gather your wits about you!

The best way to handle it is to take that time out for yourself. Reflect. I mean really reflect and ask yourself what are the things that you keep experiencing time and time again. There’s your big clue. Whether it’s feeling hard done by or whether it’s a feeling of stop/start – just take time to sit with it.

The next step is to ask yourself, “What am I doing that’s keeping it the same?” Therein lie a lot of the answers.

Remember there are some things that are programmed in as subconscious patterns and so they’re not that easy to shift on your own. If you want to give me a call, I’d be happy to help you with this.

Think about what you want to do differently. I can’t remember who it was that said that it’s an act of madness to do the same thing again and again and expect a different result. It might have been Einstein but he was right.

It is really heavy right now but it’s all about getting us to take a real good look at where we have come from and how we want to change. Mars, the planet of action, is also on the move so this will make it easier.

I would say take some time to reflect. Sometimes we can want change so badly but the actions that we are taking really aren’t in alignment with what we want to achieve. It’s time to work it all out so that when you do take action, it’s with intention and is fruitful for you.

I know my own personal way of doing things is haphazard and so sitting down and working things out is something I’m not used to doing. I kind of follow my heart on a whim and a prayer and structure and discipline are completely alien concepts to me. This wave of ascension energy has really forced me to slow down, take stock and plan.

My challenge now is trying to stick to the plan!

One thing I do know is that this year has been start/stop energy for many of us. It has brought up so much for us to heal and I know that many of you are going through a messy time right now.

I’ve been doing my own Emotion Code sessions to help me shift out of these old patterns because I know it isn’t me that doesn’t want to take action – it’s my subconscious hindering me. As a result, I’m noticing the changes in myself on a massive scale. I think those of you who have been following my social media have also noticed how much I’m changing.

It’s important that we tune in and believe that we are not hopeless in our endeavours. Healing is here to help you. If you’d like to have a chat, please get in touch. A consultation call is completely free.

Click here to book – https://www.fresha.com/providers/15863

Healing, Inspiration

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it

To attract what you truly deserve, you have to feel that you deserve it. Lately, I’ve been working to try and reach more people and that’s because I know I can really make a difference. I know there’s more to do and I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this so I thought I’d share my thinking on this with you.

So I know that I have a real impact on people’s lives. I know that healing has helped make massive leaps for people’s careers. I’ve helped people come back from absolute rock bottom. I know that there’s some clients who literally trust me with their lives. I know that I’ve helped people avoid being on prescription drugs and even helped some people to come off them. I know I’ve helped people become confident and assertive. I know I’ve helped people overcome their fears of intimacy. I know I’ve helped people make sense of their spiritual journey and taught them how to work on themselves. I’ve seen people grow and blossom in front of my eyes. I’ve helped people to take charge of their own destiny and given them the perspective that’s helped them to believe that everything is possible.

The list is endless and you’d think that this would be enough evidence for me to believe in myself, right? Well, I’m going to be really honest here and say that I’ve only just started to understand the difference I make to people’s lives and I’m still battling with this. Empaths start on a much lower self-worth level to others in my opinion and it takes a lot to climb to that place where you truly believe in your gifts.

I had a lovely client come in the other day and something he said will stick with me forever. He said, “You can say that your work is rewarding and real satisfaction and that you make a real difference. People will remember you for what you did for them.” I tried to stay cool, but inside my heart dropped a little because I’d not taken that perspective. I usually just bumble along, shrug off the praise and get on with the job. I hadn’t really been listening or taking on board the nice things that people have said because perhaps I didn’t feel that I truly deserved it. I always focus on what else there is left to do and this made me stop and take stock and really appreciate what I have.

I know that when people tell me how much I’ve helped them with the sessions we’ve had together, I still have a hard time accepting the praise. It’s like I still can’t quite believe that I’m doing this.

It takes an awful lot to step up and accept all of who you are. I’m finding this as I battle my way through it. I talk a lot about working with the shadow aspects, but this is like another form of shadow that we also need to work with. Being able to see and accept what you’re putting in to world and the positives it brings is a beautiful thing. What happens is that we think of this as Ego and retreat in to being humble. I know this is what I’ve been doing and actually as a result, I’m not getting what I truly deserve because I don’t truly believe I deserve it.

This is one of the things that I’m trying to set about changing in myself because it’s part of my self-sabotage pattern and I know I’m fed up of living that pattern. In my bones, I feel that it’s time to step up and really be visible about the work that I do. I’m building my confidence. I’m getting better at accepting praise and I’m really listening and allowing the evidence to show me that this journey is well worth the graft. Look at what I can do – it’s magical but in the daily grind, the magic gets lost and forgotten. I want to be the person that still believes in the magic!

It can be overwhelming, but I’m learning that actually praise and kind words are how people are showing love and appreciation. I have to keep my heart open to this love. It doesn’t mean it’s going to my head and it doesn’t make me any less humble. It’s quite a difficult and new concept to me to be able to celebrate the good things that I have put in to the world and be proud of what I have achieved. It’s actually quite scary!

I’m conscious not to take anything for granted because I know where I came from. At the same time, I understand that if I am overwhelmed by it, I’m not in complete acceptance of it. It’s an interesting dilemma because the Ego is shouting “Be humble!” and at the same time you’re at the point where you can’t deny the evidence that’s put before you.

The trick is to define your own sense of identity because there is strength in having that sense of self. The Ego is the false identity and when it screams “Be humble!” at you, it is one of the ways in which it is holding you back and keeping you in the limitations that you’ve been taught.

I never really recognised this fully before now and working with it has been really challenging. I can say in my own mind I believe I make a difference and I’m starting to accept the evidence as real. Remember how deep set the ego ideas and beliefs are.

Defining your own sense of self takes time. I’ve been on this journey a while and I’m still finding false selves and as each mask falls away, it enables me to become more authentic, more real and more confident in my own definition of who I am.

I don’t want to be what I’m taught I have to be in this world. I don’t want to have limitations and restrictions placed on me.

I want to be able to share and celebrate the fullness of who I am. I want to believe that I can attract what I deserve. I want to believe that I truly deserve it.

If any of this resonates and you’re on the path trying to find ways to become who you came here to be, please get in touch with me. I love working with opening hearts and minds to all the possibilities!

 

99 Pathways of the Heart

99 Pathways of the Heart – Maintaining and nourishing yourself

“When you are guided to this pathway, take the opportunity to feel a very steady yet powerful state of awareness in your being that maintains and nourishes you and others.”

This is the pathway that I’ve been reflecting on this past week and it is one that presents plenty of challenges for me. Embodying a steady state is something that I have been working on for as far as I can remember. For me, there is a juxtaposition here with being a free spirit.

This pathway requires pulling yourself inwards whilst you experience life. Being a free spirit, it’s easy for my heart to be called elsewhere. I want to talk about this because for me it is one the most challenging aspects of who I am as a person. This is where the conflict lies and I’m noticing that it is how my power escapes sometimes.

I know I have this immense reservoir of love within me and the capacity to nourish and give to others. This pathway takes me further in to using this source to help maintain myself and it is this very thing that I have been trying to do for a long time. This pathway has helped me to uncover a whole other level and given me an awareness and perspective that goes deeper.

For those of us that are empathic, it’s very easy to relegate our own needs in order to serve others. We think that this is why we came here – to serve. That’s part of it but not the whole of it.

This pathway really made me look at the way I give and the expectations that I have created from others around me. When I began to pull it back and go within, what struck me is how very little I have given myself. With a reservoir so large, it’s almost as if I think can survive on a lot less from the pot so rather than taking from it, I put in to it. This brings up feelings of guilt and feeling selfish. At the same time, I look around me and notice that perhaps I feel this more because of the belief that I came here to serve. There are deep set emotions here about worthiness attached to this and whether I deserve to take when I can give so much. It became obvious to me that there was very little balance in my life when it came to this.

It’s been a really challenging week and working with this pathway has actually made me feel really sad. I have to be raw and honest about how I feel. That’s what this space is for and it needs to be expressed.

The pathway also reminds me that I must not overextend myself. This is what occurred to me and I can see clearly where I am doing this. I can blame being an empath to some extent but the truth of it is that I have plenty of fleeting whims and distractions all created by my ego to prevent me from embodying this state. I can see that very clearly. I realised that I can’t hide behind anything anymore. Especially not when it has been shown to me this clearly. When you realise how little you have given yourself, it brings up anger and resentment and I’ve had to spend a lot of time working with this. I’ve allowed this and I forgive myself. I can change and that is what I am doing. Easy statements to make but if you’ve ever gone through this, you’ll know the raw emotion it brings up.

This idea of sacrifice comes with this type work and it’s something that keeps coming up for me to clear away. The idea that being in service should be at the expense of your own self simply isn’t true. I am entitled to a life just like everyone else. There’s a paradox here as the “service” is actually what I have chosen to do. It’s my own path I’m creating so it is as much for me as it is for humanity. The ego makes you choose one or the other and we are conditioned to believe that choosing service to others is the better thing to do. In actual fact, we can have both but it takes a lot of unlearning which I am still learning to do.

When I call the ego out on this, the contradictions are so very obvious. There is so much pain in saying goodbye to old ways of being. I’ve always tried to be conscious of what my ego is doing and exploring the pathways has brought up a lot of wounds that need to be healed within myself.

It isn’t easy getting the balance within yourself between serving others and serving yourself. We are brought up with conditioning that tells us that putting ourselves first is selfish. We’re taught a linear way of thinking that suggests that if we think about ourselves first, it means that we don’t care about others. It’s difficult to shift to a way of thinking that enables you to be equal to others and there’s a perception that to consider yourself equal equates to being egotistical. It gets really complicated because you can think this logically in your head but when the feelings of guilt show themselves, your heart gets pulled straight back. This is what I’m grappling with.

I’m always banging on about self-worth and I’m a work in progress but what I am learning here has come at a critical time for me. My life is interesting because of the demanding nature of my work. I get phone calls and text messages all the time asking me all sorts of things. I’ve always felt the need to answer and help and I don’t regret helping. I do sometimes resent the demands and that’s me being really honest. I take full responsibility for this now where in the past I’d have blamed others. I’ve created and met these expectations without even thinking about it and it’s difficult to undo without experiencing emotional turmoil. Meeting demands is what I’ve been looking at taking a step back from because there is a line where my work ends and I begin and that can get blurred very easily. Even though boundaries have been set, a plea for help is a plea for help and my heart isn’t one that can ignore it easily. So it’s been an emotional time because for each time that has happened, I’ve had to ask myself who I am putting first. I’m learning to deal with the emotion that comes with it and I can tell you it isn’t easy but it is necessary. This is a spiritual lesson that needs to be learned.

A strong feeling of discomfort comes from taking a step back. It’s like going against what your heart is telling you when you don’t reply to a plea for help but I had to explore this feeling for myself. It feels as if people are relying on me. It feels that there is an urgency for them that I am ignoring and that somehow makes me a bad person. Again, this linear way of thinking is one I’m learning to undo because a lot of that conditioning simply isn’t true.

What I have realised with this pathway is that I go deep and I do have a lot to give. My priority has become to maintain that within myself. Embodying a steady state of awareness and power is important but I didn’t realise how important it was for maintaining and nourishing myself. I thought I was doing that and I know now that I am not doing enough of it. The reason for this is the raw emotion, the guilt, the anger, the feeling selfish that I’m still learning to overcome. And all this just to feel equal to others! It’s mind blowing because I thought I was overcoming myself in terms of self-worth but there’s always more I need to be shown and more I need to do.

It’s interesting because although I do take a lot of time for myself and I switch off when I have to, I’ve developed some sticky habits when it comes to work. It’s the belief that work overrides everything because of it’s nature. It doesn’t though. What overrides everything is my state of being and my ability to maintain and nourish myself and I’m starting to look at that as often as I can in response to meeting the worlds demands on me. I’m taking it one moment at a time and seeing how it feels to choose me.

Just when you think you’ve got the self-worth thing down, the universe throws you a massive curve ball. With things changing as rapidly as they are, this is a very valuable lesson that the universe is giving me. I’ve noticed how quickly it can become about everything else. I’ve noticed how my free spirit slips away under the mask of empathy.

Old beliefs and old habits are dying hard. I’m working hard on taking the shame out of “I’m putting myself first.” It’s one I think a lot of us can relate to. If nice people finish last, I’m not ok with that and so I’m determined to prove that wrong.

I am just as important as everyone else and I’m determined not to forget it!

99 Pathways of the Heart

Pathway 13 – Ar-Rauf – Healing Wings

So after quite a long break, I decided today to pick back up on the pathways again because it felt like I needed to reconnect. The last few months have been a time for extreme expansion and inner healing for me and so I caught this pathway and found myself working through it. It’s always as if this book knows exactly what is needed and this is the beauty of life. If you seek answers, you’ll find them. Sometimes, it isn’t the answer we were looking for. Sometimes it is the truth and we find that hard to bear, but nevertheless it is an answer.

This pathway is about reconnecting your heart to Unity. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that we do not exist in isolation from others. I’ve always been quite a solitary person. I’ve also been a very strong person and my story always goes, “I don’t need anyone.”

The one thing I have learnt from my story is that when you give off the vibe that you don’t need anyone, you attract people that couldn’t care less about you. Have a think about that one. I know I did.

Receiving help and healing from others is one of the hardest things that I have had to learn. I am still learning it if I’m really honest.

This pathway for me showed me what that was all about. The last few months for me have been a struggle to stay in balance. When the ego falls away, we feel lost. When all our beliefs are challenged, we question who we are. When we feel lost, we need help and coming in to balance means that we need to connect on three deep levels.

Firstly we need to connect with Divine Source to truly be able to see the world through Creator’s eyes. We need to connect deep within ourselves to discover our desires and joy. We also need to connect ourselves with everything that is around us because like I said, we do not exist in isolation.

Without going in to too much detail, I’ve had experiences over the last few months that have really challenged me on all three levels and the expansion and awareness has changed me. For me this pathway is about recognising the struggle that we have when we become disconnected.

We think we have everything sussed and sorted and then along comes someone or something that brings out a whole lot more in you that needs to be healed. Someone or something that makes you question what you believe in. Someone or something that makes you admit what you really want isn’t in alignment with your story. Someone or something that allows you to open up and receive help and healing.

It is opening on a deep level and often these things are unexpected and meant to throw you off balance. All UNLEARNING is learning and part of the soul’s journey is to disconnect to be able to reconnect. We can arrive in a comfort zone with our spirituality unless we continuously challenge what we hold to be true. That in itself brings us to a better understanding of the Divine, of ourselves and of the world around us.

This separation between ourselves and Creator/ourselves/our world is something I want to touch on because for a lot of empaths like me, we have this yearning for home. We don’t know where home is but we have always had this longing and this deep sadness because we feel separated from it. Those of you who know, will know.

This pathway pointed to something quite poignant for me. It led me to explore all the times that I had tried to heal the separation within myself. The separation and disconnectedness can be healed through this idea that we are part of Unity. That is home.

Being spiritual isn’t simply about a set of ideals and beliefs. It’s about connecting on the three levels that I have mentioned. It is about striving to achieve that balance within yourself. It’s about repairing all the connections and this for me is the deepest kind of healing.

Sometimes we are shown through trauma and experience. Sometimes we are shown by another person who has entered our lives to teach us this very lesson. All I know is that you need to dig deep and challenge what you think you already know about yourself. For me, it was reminding myself that I also need help.

It is when I need help, comfort, affection that I am at my most vulnerable because it challenges my story. I’m admitting this here and now and I’m choosing to see this as a strength. Over the last few months, I’ve seen what compassion really is from people I would not have expected it from and it’s taken me to new depths in the way I operate in the world.

I’ve learnt what it means to receive compassion and real love and to be able to express it for another. I’ve learnt that I am absolutely safe being vulnerable because I trust that Divine is always looking out for me. I’ve learnt that when I am out of balance, I need to heal the separation within myself.

This pathway took me to a whole new level of opening within myself. I thought my heart was open and I’ve learnt that even though it is open, it can open so much wider.

Energy Updates

Ascension Energy Update 12th October 2018

WOWZERS! It’s time for another ascension energy update. I feel like it’s been a while and I can only apologise that I have not been writing as much but here I am and better late than never!

This new moon has seriously had us all exhausted! The energies have been so intense and I for one have been feeling it physically. It’s like having sleepy syndrome and there hasn’t been much time for me to sleep.

The healing room has seen some massive breakthroughs over the last week or so and I think this is the theme for October. It is officially breakthrough month on all levels.

It feels like we are all being asked to step and challenge ourselves to transition in to our next phase of ascension. The energy has been making us feel very tired with this feeling of “how long can I keep going?” It feels like burnout but it really isn’t. There is a need to push beyond this veil and there is a definite need to step up.

This week there will be something that happens that makes you feel certain that it’s time to step up. You’ll be overwhelmed with fear but honestly just remember what I’m telling you and roll your sleeves up and fight for what you want.

As lightworkers, we really suffer from procrastination and we can find reasons not to stretch ourselves. This is the time. It has always been the time. We talk about preparing ourselves quite a lot and intuitively knowing when we are ready.

The truth of the matter is this.

Your entire life has led you to this moment. You are ready. Hell you were born ready and it’s about time you realise it.

I’m in the headspace now where I have to give myself the Rocky speech every day and HURR myself on to keep going and I can feel that we are all breaking through. It may be next new moon when situations are resolved but if there’s a time to take action, it is now. This moment is defined by all previous moments and if it’s come in to your head, you are ready for it.

It doesn’t matter whether or not you can see progress. Feel it. Feel that the Universe is at work on your behalf. Set your intentions because energy follows intent.

The most important thing though is to cut out distractions. It’s all about you now.

Make this week a good one because it’s in your power to do so!

My next stage is to begin getting more active on my visual platforms as that is the thing that I’m feeling needs to be done so watch this space!!

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