“I’m working on myself right now” – have you ever heard someone say these words and thought “I wonder what they’re actually doing?” I mean, what does it actually mean to be working on yourself.
It’s often a vague and lofty concept that can encompass a whole host of things and so I thought it would be good to break it down. There’s plenty of ways of doing it but I’m going to tell you about some of the things that you’ll need to get started.
Remember everyone does this sort of work in a different way and as part of my journey, I’ve had to do a hell of a lot of it! Teaching it has become my bread and butter so I thought I would share some key things if you’re starting out on the “working on yourself” journey.
The first thing that you need to clear on is “Why do I want to work on myself?” This an absolute corker of a question and in my view, its the entire lynchpin of the whole process.
If you’re not clear on WHY you are doing something then the chances are is that you’ll start it but not follow through. One of the most important things about working on yourself is acknowledging that just like a puppy, it’s not just for Christmas. It’s for life!
There’s plenty of reasons to want to do it. Maybe you’ve gone through a tough time and you feel that it’s highlighted areas in your life where you could be a lot stronger. It might be that you’re looking at yourself and thinking, “how did I get here?”
It happens often that life just does its thing and you wake up one morning and realise that you don’t really know you are anymore. For some people, it’s about wanting to get the “old me” back.
Once you’ve got reason for doing it, we can start getting to the meaty stuff!
What do I want to work on?
How long is a piece of string? This can also get vague and wafty and lead you in to avoiding certain topics because it makes you uncomfortable. In my experience, the things that make you uncomfortable are the best topics that you can start with.
The common one for most people is “self-love” and that in itself is a huge area but we can start to break it down. The first thing to ask yourself is how does it actually show up in your life?
It might be that you’re a people pleaser or you get treated like a doormat. It might be that you’re really horrible to yourself and beat yourself about not getting things right. It might be that you want everything to be perfect including yourself. It might be that in some situation, you’re just pretending your happy when your not.
Whatever situation makes you uncomfortable, that’s your starting place. Think about what it is and write it down. Next think about what you’re trying to show on the outside. Then write down what you’re actually feeling on the inside. This mismatch is what causes the discomfort and we all have situations like this so it’s the easiest starting point for everyone.
What can I do to get started?
I thought I’d touch on some of the ways that you can start doing this work. This is hopefully enough to help you get started and if you feel like you want to do more or you want to go a bit deeper, then get in touch. The methods below are just the basics and there is a whole lot more to it but if you’re just starting out on this journey, this is the starting poing.
Usually the first port of call, especially if you’ve realised that you have a really busy mind and find it difficult to switch off. The starting point is to begin with grounding. Grounding helps calm that chatter down and reconnect your mind and your body so that you’re not away with the fairies or lost in your thoughts.
Simply bringing yourself back down to earth in the morning can do you the world of good and I would say even if you don’t do anything else, this is probably the one thing that will help you the most. You can use it when you’re anxious, stressed, struggling to sleep. You can also use if after any other guided meditation that you’ve done because it helps integrate the work in to your physical reality. Here’s one I prepared earlier to help you get started.
There are so many resources out there that help with so many different things which is fabulous! Whether its mindfulness, releasing stress and worry or manifesting abundance there’s probably a guided meditation out there that can help you.
I like creating guided healing experiences through meditation in the form of transmissions. Transmissions help you to connect to the healing energy yourself and will transport you to a different world! There’s a selection on my Soundcloud channel that you can go and check out.
One of the best ways of sorting out what’s going in your head is to start journalling. The best way to do this is to sit with your notebook and pen. Stick a timer on so maybe start with 5 minutes.
You’re going to begin writing whatever comes in to your head and write it as if you are thinking it. If you find that difficult, you can have a bank of prompt questions in your journal. For example, the things that make me angry, my earliest memories, the things that make me uncomfortable…
I’m going to be launching a course on journalling for healing soon but this should be enough to help you get started.
Journalling is so therapeutic and gives you a way of releasing all the stuff that you’re holding on you. It’s worth giving it a try.
If after you start doing a bit of this work you’re finding that there’s a lof of stuff that you need to understand or let go of, then it might be time to get some help with it.
Healing gives you a different view of yourself and can help you to see things in a different way so that you’re able to resolve and move past the things that you feel are causing you bother.
There’s so many different healing modalities so choose one that works for you and if you’re not sure, give me a call and we can have a chat about what works best for you.
For some people, they want more focus on changing specific areas of their lives and this is where coaching comes in. It’s a good way of highlighting a problem or issue and working through it.
I love working with coaching clients because you get to see them grow in confidence and transform. My methods are about teaching them how to make these changes for themselves and giving them the support that they need.
Coaching is a great option for people who want do learn how to do the work on themselves for themselves and really do that deep dive in to themselves.
One of the benefits of coaching is that it challenges you to look outside the box. One of the things I’m good at is pushing people out of their comfort zone. When you’re working on yourself, most people will tend to stick to exploring what feels safe and comfortable. If you’re working with me, we go in to raw and grimy aspects – the good, the bad and the ugly. This is done in a fully supported way and although its designed to push your buttons, it is also designed to make you grow by overcoming your fears and insecurities.
If you’d like to know more, please get in touch.
If you are doing this sort of work on yourself and you’re feeling a bit lost, I need you to know that you are not alone. In fact, there are people just like you on my Thursday Club.
There’s so many inner work themes that we can explore and this weekly group coaching call pulls out all the stops with new content every week, homework, exercises, group healing.
If you’re looking at working on yourself with support from a professional, this would be great for you. It’s also a great way of learning about lots of different areas in a structured way. It’s also a way of connecting with like minded people.
So if you’ve read this and it’s whet your appetite for working on yourself, why wait to get started?
Get yourself grounded, get yourself a journal and make a start! There’s a few themed videos on my YouTube channel that will give you some ideas.
If you want to try out Thursday Club, you can have your first session on me. I think it’s nice to try before you buy but please do get in touch if I can help.